Felicia Dumont
patreon
So here's what's up.
🕑 Added 2022-06-04 20:29:40 +0000 UTCMy meds aren't working. They haven't been working 'too well' since the beginning of may and despite alterations to how much/what I'm taking, I can't seem to get back to 'stable/functional' Which, for someone with ADHD, means that unless I'm really interested in something, I can't really keep much focus on it. (Which is what happened a lot before I went on these meds, and which was why I kept flip-flopping around on all sorts of stuff.)
The problem with taking ADHD meds 'that aren't working' is that I'm not getting the benefit, but I'm also getting the side effect of my ADHD symptoms being worse, because of the meds not being strong enough/the right kind, etc.
So...yeah. That's why posts are so slow. I keep thinking 'ok, this change in my meds will get me back on track' and after altering dosage, altering my schedule, altering the meds, altering the dosage again, there hasn't been any cognitive improvement since I started to 'slump' late-April early-May.
I have some short stories that are coming out of Kindle Unlimited that I'm adding to the Patreon, and every day I 'try' to work on a caption. Some days I can get a paragraph (maybe two) down. Others, I can't get a sentence.
BUT that doesn't mean I have been completely idle. The game I'm working on has managed to retain my interest enough at times for me to continually working on it. So while I haven't made much progress 'writing' I have made leaps and bounds on the game's features and functions and...well, completely redesigning how RPG Maker MV 'does' things. XD It's pretty time intensive, but I'm getting there.
Sadly, with the latest med I'm on, it's actually killing ALL my interest in just about everything. So the past week has been particularly hard for me (combined with the stress of failing my productivity goals and everything else.) Unfortunately, I can't 'try a new med/dosage every couple days' to figure this out, once I find that something isn't working. It's a slower process with controlled meds. Sooo, I 100% fully understand if you need to take a break in supporting me while I get my brain sorted out. This could take days or weeks. (Hopefully not months.) And through the process, I might have some ups and downs in productivity. I should've made this post sooner, but I kept thinking I could turn things around and fix stuff before 'this' much unproductive time had passed, not to mention my own anxiety of making this post, knowing it would mean that people would unsub (which is totally fine!). It's my job to earn that sub and right now, It's proving very hard for me (mentally) to do so, without my meds working like they had been.
I'm still dedicated to getting this sorted out, and continuing the captions and the short stories (and the game.) Even when I 'get back into the right state of mind' I'll probably only do 1-3 short stories a week, depending on how things go, while returning to daily caption releases, but I have a lot of content to write for the game to make it really shine and so it'll take a bunch of my productivity when I can actually properly write again.
So that's what's up.
Comments
Thanks. :) Things are moving forward. Slowly but surely.
I appreciate the sentiment. I'm still incredibly thankful for the support I've gotten (and continue to get) which has even allowed me to take time to get this sorted out. I'm in a financially better place now, than I had been, but it only makes me want to get back to work all the more. But you're right, I'll get there. (But the waiting is hard. x_x)
Flappyyy
You've done nothing wrong, and you owe no one an explanation of your mental health, especially if you don't think you are in a good place to write an entire post about it. I wish you the best in working through your medication management. You'll get back to doing what you want to do on your own time, not ours.
SJS
Thanks for sharing that with us. Please do what's best for your health :)
