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(Super Sales 2)Chapter 1: What They Understand

🕑 Added 2017-09-24 14:22:12 +0000 UTC

Comments

ThePolarParadox

So, uh, why does Kit have Blonde hair in the picture?

DiabolicalGenius

Riiiiight. Yeah, I know how that kind of thing works. I guess I'll try to restrain myself then, if there's a chance you'll have to change something instead of just correcting it, just because I couldn't keep my big mouth shut. Ah well. Keep up the good work man.

William D. Arand

Go nuts. Of course, any editing you provide or suggest won't be used i'm afraid. I hire an editor when I'm done with the book to go back through. :) Your time is your own though, and I'l not stop you from enjoying yourself.

DiabolicalGenius

""She’s killed cops! Heros! There is no supposed about it!” Should be 'heroes'." "Taking aim, she spat up a mouth full of blood onto the table." Should be 'he'." ""Having been a minder reader for so long" should be 'mind reader'" And shouldn't Victoria be on that point list since she's a regular member of his entourage now? She should have her powers active after all. Otherwise good job. This reads a lot better and we get a better image of the detective and bad cop than before. It's just that now I'm getting advance chapters, I can't seem to help playing editor. I'm just nitpicky like that. Please don't mind it.

William D. Arand

I despise lengthy descriptions and fluff writing. It's breakneck or relevant, otherwise it doesn't exist.

James Strozier

Even for it being just the first chapter. This makes for a very refreshing read. Been reading a bit of litrpg and other fantasy books as of late and I genuinely gravitate towards your style.


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