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SS 2 -CH1-

🕑 Added 2019-07-02 03:08:04 +0000 UTC

Comments

William D. Arand

Don't worry about it. This is pre editor and pre second pass.

Roland Jackson

wonderful

Caleb Bear

A few edits I noticed could be made to help make things smoother. "But what I wasn’t hired as an agent." - Got an extra what in there. "Like the fact that mind-reading doesn’t work that particularly well on you, and can risk the mind-reader attempting it." - Maybe rework the part after the comma. “Ptttf, as if I’d believe that for an instant. Too much of a risk of you saying no. Anyways,” Mark said. “There we are. That’s the new gig and all that.” - Comma after said and lowercase "t" for the "there."


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