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[The Distinguished Mr. Rose] Chapter 83: A Relaxing One Week Vacation in Hell
🕑 Added 2025-07-23 00:58:06 +0000 UTCTo Lucius’s intrigue, the other players and Frankishmen had adapted quite seamlessly to their new lodgings. A day had passed since the gentleman brought forth the Fires of Sinai, and though the view outside was filled with pyre, and brimstone, and the constant never-ending jeers of their demonic foes burning alive, life at the castle was pleasant as could be.
The priests had installed wards atop the walls that repelled smoke from wafting into their quarters; and large columns of ice were periodically summoned to help keep them all cool. Other than the occasional maintenance, there really wasn’t much to do, and so Lucius’s fellows found themselves partaking in casual activities: such as bathing in the underground pool, playing card games, working out, practicing spells and sparring with each other, or simply resting by the terrace where they might enjoy a comforting show of watching the demons be consumed by magma.
Hundreds of thousands of those things must’ve perished by now, and yet the demonic forces flocked toward the castle as dogged as ever. They did not care that their surroundings were, figuratively, a smoldering hellscape; nor were they dissuaded by the gloopy corpses of their kindred. Such behavior only reinforced Lucius’s theory that the demons had no will of their own. They were mindless, relentless, and automatic in their function.
The question, however, was where exactly were they coming from? The expedition had already eliminated the fount that spawned the things in the forest; so it stood to reason that they came from other breeding grounds, or possibly the mountain itself. That would mean Sir Ruggiero was enjoying a well deserved break for once! Good for him, good for him — especially with the man’s wedding date soon approaching. Lucius wished him all the best.
Unfortunately, demons obliterated by the Fires of Sinai were not recognized as kills made by Lucius, and as such he received no experience nor skill proficiency from the vast, vast, vast slaughter. What a shame.
>[Sinister Interdimensional Bureaucrat says that it’s because the Fires of Sinai was merely loaned to you. It is still technically Renaud’s possession. He gave it under certain terms with the expectation of having it returned; as such, a contract was formed. It is merely a verbal one, however. Such things can be easily broken either by the man’s death or through forced acknowledgement of you as the new owner. He is weak. The Star encourages you to seize this chance and make the jewel your own. If you do, the Star will award you 500 Cosmic Coins]<
>[Virtual Goddess of the Wired gasps and is appalled by the Bureaucrat’s attempt to lead Lucius astray. The Star frantically searches their treasury and manages to scrounge up 501 Cosmic Coins. The Goddess says they’ll donate it to you as long as you refuse the Salesman’s mission]<
>[Number 1 Rated Salesman 1997 is still sulking after having missed out on a deal]<
Lucius laughed and waved the Salesman off. “I appreciate the thought, my good sir, but I see no benefit in doing such things now. Even if I were to make the jewel my own, it cannot be used for another hundred or so years.”
>[The Bureaucrat is confused. A hundred years is but a mere blink in the perspective of a Star]<
“But I am not a Star, and as such I will likely perish long before then.”
>[You have the potential to become one — the Bureaucrat is certain of it]<
That was true. If Lucius put his mind to it, he could easily become a Star. His Nova stat was proceeding along nicely; and he no doubt would have many opportunities in the future to raise his ascension. Still, why ruin his relationship with Renaud now? The Peer had so much yet to do, to realize. He had begun to recognize that which hid within. It was only a matter of time now before he bloomed at his most beautiful.
Whether that led to his death or a newfound resolve like Ruggiero… well, Lucius would just have to wait until then.
>[Virtual Goddess of the Wired smiles smugly and gives Lucius his promised rewards]<
*(NEW!) 501 Cosmic Coins
Speaking of Renaud, the gentleman found him in the castle storage area, where he had been dutifully recording all their available supplies and jotting them down for rationing.
“Hello there, Sir Renaud,” Lucius said, sneaking up behind him and giving the man a fright.
Renaud jumped up in alarm, but he quickly calmed his heart afterward. “Lucius. Your steps are silent as ever.”
“Do forgive me. Habits are ever difficult to break, but may I ask what you are doing down here? A man of your importance needs not attend to these tedious things. I’m sure there are plenty among your retinue who would be more than happy to finish your work.”
Renaud appeared thoughtful for a moment, and a bit solemn, before replying, “I would rather undertake these tasks myself and be at ease knowing they are accurately documented, than have another risk turning in a sloppy report. Logistics and precise cataloguing are paramount if we are to proceed without unwanted surprise.”
“You do not trust your own people, then?”
Renaud hesitated. “It is not that. I am only one man — even I cannot oversee everything. However, if there is no reason why I cannot tend to such matters myself, then why rely on another? Besides… it is relaxing.”
Lucius smiled and bid the man a knowing nod. “It is, isn’t it? I love mingling amongst people, of course, but there is a certain serenity in being left alone with your thoughts. There’s no rush, no worry. All you need to do is unwind the mind and concentrate on your task in peace.”
“I knew you would understand.” Renaud cracked a rare smile, and then he returned to his quill. “It is often rare I find a moment to myself. A Peer’s duties are great, and even more so for one of my higher lineage. Back at House Dordognes there was no end to the meetings I had to partake in. Whether it be while appeasing the family elders, discussing national concerns at the castle, or daily sessions with our advisors… not a moment passed where there wasn’t someone screeching into my ear. Such is only natural for a leader, but I must admit it does get wearisome after a while. People are ever so tiring to deal with.”
“I see. Would you rather I leave, then? I wouldn’t want to intrude on your precious time.”
Renaud considered the gentleman’s proposal, but in the end he merely gave him a bland gesture. “I do not particularly mind. It is different with you, Lucius. Unlike the others, I feel no need to put on airs, or prove myself, or any such pressure and stress. I can be honest around you, for I know nothing I say will ever change how you regard me.”
Lucius chuckled. “I am, if nothing else, a man certain in his judgement. But that makes me curious. Do you believe yourself to be honest, right now?”
“An odd question. I would say that I am.”
“Interesting.”
Lucius didn’t say another word. Instead, he clapped his hands and summoned all the necessary furnishings to host a little tea party. According to his new monocle, Sir Renaud preferred bolder flavors and citrusy fruit, so he set up a pot of orange spice black tea — a perfect way to start your day! It had a little zest, a little cinnamon, and even a slight spicy kick.
“Come, why don’t you put the quill down for a moment and take a break?” Lucius said to him. “We have all the time in the world for work… later.”
Renaud raised his brow, uncertain, but eventually he obliged and took a seat on Lucius’s handy-dandy chair. He took a sip, hung his head back, and let relief wash over him.
“Mm, this is even better than the last,” Renaud muttered. “Your skills never cease to impress me.”
“A pleasure to be of service. I always aim to improve in what little way I can.”
“Improvement is good. Many times have I had the displeasure of entertaining a fool unwilling to better themself. The elders of Sir Ganelon’s faction are one such people — always blaming others for their woes, rather than looking inward.”
“Harsh words for those you consider allies.”
Renaud let out an amused laugh. “Hah, for now perhaps. Those miserable wretches are but mere pawns to uncle. Their use will only last for so long. When the time comes, they shall receive every last bit of karma they deserve for their treachery.”
“Do you believe the same will happen to you?”
“It is different with me, Lucius.” Renaud set his cup of tea down and stared deep into the amber liquid. “Unlike them, I accept my fate. I am neither disillusioned nor unknowing of what my actions will bring. I simply… desire to have a taste of it — the recognition and praise the other Peers have taken for granted.”
Lucius tilted his head. “Is that your original goal? To be hailed with admiration?”
“You make it sound like a pathetic wish.”
“I didn’t intend to imply anything. It is an honest question.”
Lucius was entirely sincere. He wished to know Renaud’s view, to see what manner of excuse he would come up with now.
“Well, it would certainly be nice. People envy my wealth and status, naturally, but it isn’t quite the same as genuine respect.”
“Why is that so important to you?”
Renaud closed his eyes, and he uttered a small, bitter exhale. “Because it is the one thing in my life I can never truly have. Money? I have no shortage of it. Power and influence I wield without abandon. There is no family with more history or tradition than that of House Dordognes. I have never gone hungry, never worried over my future, nor is there any actual need for me to concern myself with the opinions of the common folk.”
“And yet, the opinions of those so-called common folk are what motivate you, nonetheless.” Or so he claimed.
“Yes, that is true. Do you know why, Sir Lucius?” Renaud asked.
“Perhaps, but I’ll let you explain for me.”
Renaud stared at the ceiling. His eyes were glazed over, pensive, as if he were looking somewhere far out of sight.
“I could choose a comfortable life. Rather than expose myself to danger and lead the knights like I do now, I could’ve taken a position as a judge back at the capital and spent my erstwhile days gorged on petty authority. But if I were to do that, then I would suffer a fate far worse than at the hands of the demons.”
“And what would that be?”
“To die without ever achieving a single feat.”
Renaud clasped his hands together and then leaned back in toward the table. “What I value more than comfort or safety or other such meaningless vices… is my legacy. I want to be remembered; I want to be recognized as someone important to history. In life I will be sung as a hero, and so will my deeds pass on for centuries to come. No, even if I were to be loathed as a villain, I would be happy so long as they never forget my name.”
“I thought you wanted respect, to be loved by the people?”
“Oh, I absolutely do — but only whilst I still live. My and Ganelon’s schemes will be unearthed eventually. Until then, I want to bask and delight in the glory I could only ever yearn for.”
Renaud took a shaky breath, and then downed all of his tea in but a matter of seconds. “I want them to recognize me, and not the house I was born into. Not with envy or those forked tongues hoping to leech off my inheritance. I am a Dordognes, yes, but above all else I am also Renaud. I have toiled and bled for my goals just like any other, and yet no one acknowledges the efforts of poor, frail, sickly little me. So privileged in my upbringing and wealth. They think I have it all, but if that were true I wouldn’t have lost my…”
Lucius extended his arm and offered the man a handkerchief, to which he gratefully accepted.
“There are times when letting one’s frustrations out can be good for the soul,” the gentleman said. “However, too much, too quickly, can just as easily become poison. Take it slowly, my friend. You do not need to rush. I will listen for as long as you wish.”
The Peer took a moment to collect himself, wiping his eyes and steadying his breath. When he was ready, Renaud neatly folded the handkerchief and gave it back to Lucius.
“My apologies. I didn’t intend to show you such an unseemly side of me,” he said.
Lucius tutted. “Nonsense, there’s no such thing. We are all complicated beings, Sir Renaud, and to deny that part of ourselves is to deny what makes us truly unique.”
Renaud grinned and poured himself another cup of tea. “You are right. I do feel a bit better. I cannot remember a time when my heart hasn’t been so tight, especially as of late. But now I only wish to partake in this drink and let my mind wander.”
“That is only natural. You have gone through much tragedy, Sir Renaud, yet that is why moments like these are ever so important to indulge in.”
“And indulge I shall. It is a shame, though… there still remains a weight in me. It is stuffy, yet I know not why or how to be rid of it. My talks with you have calmed it down somewhat; but it unnerves me to harbor that which I do not quite understand.”
“What do you think it is?”
“Doubt, fear, or maybe even guilt.”
Lucius uttered a deep chuckle. “Perhaps it could be that, or perhaps it could be something more. There is one thing I do know, however, and it is that you shall never be rid of that weight for your entire life — not unless you face it, that is.”
“Face what?”
“Your true self.”
After that, Lucius and Renaud continued their pleasant talk for the next hour, before eventually returning to their own respective duties.
Life went on as it ever did, and soon, a few more days had passed. The Peer of now was looking much more relaxed, more comfortable with himself. He interacted with his fellow Frankishmen more and even deigned to join them in their occasional games. Seeing them like so, none would ever guess that they were right in the center of a burning wasteland.
The beasts and their lord, meanwhile, were becoming a little jittery. They were creatures of the forest, unbound and untamed. They were not meant to be kept in such tight quarters for a long period; but even these animalistic things knew what awaited them outside. Their survival instinct won out over their nature, and thus they behaved obediently whilst under their Lord’s command — somewhat, at least. There were a couple of incidents with predators attempting to launch an attack on their natural prey’s lodging. However, the hundred-headed wolf centipede swiftly disciplined them and maintained the truce.
It was on the seventh and final day that Lucius joined his three plucky fellows for a nice lunch atop the roof. Nothing like watching a horde of demons liquefy into gunk to wet the tongue!
Mili laid out a towel and plopped onto her back. “Y’know, the screams kinda turn into background noise after a bit. It was annoying and all during the first day but now it’s actually really soothing.”
Harper stared at her as if she just said something wholly disturbing. “Uh, I guess? I mean if the wails of the damned are your kind of thing…”
Marco grunted and ruffled Mili’s hair before leaning back into an old-fashioned recliner. “Who starts a conversation like that? Jesus, kid.”
Mili huffed. “I’m just saying! It’s not like those crayon scribbled lookin’ things are actually intelligent. Any other damn living thing would have backed off by now, but they’re still raring to go and keep knocking against the castle. You have to admit that’s super creepy.”
While they were busy making themselves comfortable, Lucius took the role as head chef, bartender, and barbecue master. He summoned a nice charcoal grill and cooked up a wide variety of meats and veggies, of which he perfectly seasoned of course, while also mixing up some refreshing alcoholic beverages. And tea — can’t forget that.
Once the spread was ready, he portioned them out onto little plastic plates and then handed them to his companions. They all gave him a thumbs up for a job well done, before tearing into their food.
“It’s been quieting down lately, though,” Harper said, her mouth stuffed with a double bacon cheeseburger. “The smoke’s starting to lessen, and I don’t even need to plug my ears at night to get some decent rest.”
Marco munched on a hot dog with sauerkraut and spicy mustard. “The flames are dyin’ as well. It’s nice not needin’ to have ice everywhere; it’d always melt and make the floor all wet. I ain’t tryin’ to waste my points on socks, but I had to get a whole bunch just to have some dry feet.”
Mili got the largest portion of them all and dug into a hefty 32 oz porterhouse steak. Well done.
Harper and Marco leered at her with a look of disappointment.
“What? I like to chew my meat. It’s fun.”
“I bet you’re the type to drown your steaks in sauce, too,” Harper replied, disgusted.
“Huh? How’d ya know?” Mili said, before pouring a whole bottle of steak sauce on her food.
Food war crimes aside, the four of them had a lovely time. They hadn’t gathered like this in a while, so it was nice to bond a bit, have some fun, and get to know each other a little better.
By the time they finished, the Fires of Sinai had finally run its course. There were no more demons, no more explosions of flame. Outside the castle was an ashen ruin of what used to be the forest. It was a rather depressing sight, but hey — at least there wasn’t any more danger!
Lucius quickly cleaned up their surroundings and made his way down to the central courtyard along with the others. There, the players, Sir Renaud, and the remaining Franks had all gathered. They were packed up and ready, eager to finally conclude this voyage and return back home.
The Beast Lord briefly met with Lucius and bowed its many, many heads in respect.
“We will… find a new… home,” it said. “Hunter from… another world… I wish you well.”
“Must we truly bid farewell here?” Lucius asked. “I’m sure you and your kindred will be of much help in ridding this land of the demons.”
“Not… now. We will come… when the King reveals himself… I will tear his… throat personally…”
With that, the wolf centipede turned around and left the castle with its fellow beasts. Where they went now, Lucius knew not, but it was nice to make a new furry acquaintance.
Renaud walked up to Lucius and gave him an acknowledging nod. “Shall we leave now?”
“I see no reason not to,” Lucius replied.
“Mm, good.” Renaud hesitantly raised his hand and lingered for a moment, before eventually patting Lucius’s shoulder with sincere gratitude. “Thank you, my friend. Without your presence, this expedition would have surely been doomed. I have done nothing of true worth; but you are different. You slayed Maugris when no one else could, brought us to shelter when I could only wallow in my uselessness. I was too blinded by my pride, and as a result, I endangered those I should’ve sought to protect.”
“Sir Renaud…”
The Peer grinned. “Do not worry. I am not speaking out of self-loathing, but rather… reflection. I wish to change from my bitter self. If that must mean letting go of my grudge, then so be it. I will become a new man no matter how many years it must take.”
Lucius nodded in reply and gestured out to the castle’s gate. “An admirable resolve, and perhaps it might not take as long as you think. Be confident, my good sir. Much has been lost through this journey, but so too have we gained. The castle will hail you as a hero — of that, I am sure.”
“Indeed they will. I am looking forward to it.”
Renaud held his cane and walked ahead of Lucius. An upbeat air lightened his steps, and when he turned toward Lucius again, the gentleman saw in him a truly radiant light.”
“Well?” he asked with a mischievous drawl. “Are you comingixubwe0ydbqdHUABDHBouiaeufbaeAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAdhbai—”
Lucius stepped back and immediately took up a defensive stance. The sounds leaving Renaud’s mouth were strange, bizarre. An unsettling buzz rang in his head; and though the Peer’s lips moved one way, the words Lucius heard were completely different.
“Are you alright, Sir Renaud?” Lucius said, but the man didn’t react to him — not in the way he expected, at least. Renaud swiveled his head around and looked confused, even offended for some reason, and swung his arms out as if to ask Lucius to explain himself.
Something was very, very wrong. But what? A multitude of conflicting voices and odd clatter filled Lucius’s ear with junk. The others were caught in a similar dizzy; they tried to speak to each other, to communicate, but all that spread were garbage noises.
Suddenly, a fair distance away, Lucius noticed a lump rise up from the ground. And a thought came to him then — what if the demons hadn’t all been eliminated? The flames scorched all above ground, but that wasn’t the case for below.
If something had hidden in the dirt and lied in wait all this time, it was surely intelligent. Intelligent in the ways a normal demon could not be. Yes, only one kind was capable of such action.
A Great Evil.
The lump fully burst open, and an unusual creature emerged before them. It was a pair of giant ears skewered together by a sword made of red, oozing, organ-like growths. It pulsed and wriggled; the ears attempted to escape and pull themselves out, but it was no use. They were all bound together — stuck in a miserable existence of which neither part could ever feel peace.
“Did you think I wouldn’t hear it? Those words… yes, those words so filled with envy. You want what is mine. I want what is yours. Give it me. You ungrateful, lowly worms. Give it to me now!”
