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Chapter Forty-Two: Old Friends
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Chapter Forty-Two: Old Friends
Benny and I stand side-by-side on the archery range, loosing arrow after arrow into the targets in silence. The rest of the archery team stands close together as they practice but, Benny and I had chosen the two targets furthest to the right of the range. Mr. Yamamoto paces behind us from time to time; yet our teacher remains silent — as if knowing we need this time to talk. Not that any talking had actually happened yet.
Above us, the rain still hammers on the glass of the eco-dome, a million tiny fists banging on the glass. Forcing myself to operate during the rain and the thunder is difficult, but the fact that the rain isn’t falling on me helps immensely. Still, I can’t seem to close my eyes without seeing corpses.
A part of me feels ridiculous for being afraid of rain, of all things. Disparaging myself for it isn’t the right approach, though. I have good reason to be afraid of the rain, afraid of the bone-chilling wetness that had accompanied so many horrors. However, Akari practically pounded into my head that, to anyone else, I would act kind and supportive, so I should support myself in turn. Still, it’s hard. I much prefer helping others to being helped myself, and my natural reaction to pain is to shove it down deep and pretend it isn’t affecting me.
Which is what I do now. I force myself to ignore the rain and the memories of death and to instead focus on the here and now, on the friend who had come to talk with me to whom I haven’t said a single word.
“I’m sorry… for not telling you,” I say softly, my words barely carrying over the pounding rain.
Benny looses an arrow that slams home mere inches from the center of his target. I have to admit that he’s quite good at archery, almost surprisingly so, given that I’d practically forced him to join the class with me.
Carefully, Benny draws out another arrow from the clear plastic bin beside him. “I’m not mad at you, Serena,” he says, although his tone is terse.
Thunder cracks above, and I nearly drop my bow as I tense. Cautiously, I fit my own arrow to my string with trembling fingers. My aim has been awful today, but I consider it good practice, nonetheless. I need to be able to shoot properly, even when I’m terrified. Those flying volcora had gotten the drop on us in the incursion zone, and I’d been so panicked that I hardly hit a single shot. Improvement is needed.
“You sound mad,” I respond, drawing and firing my own arrow, which barely clips the edge of the target. I wonder how much of my aim is being thrown off by the fact that this ordinary bow doesn’t have nearly the same drop as my work bow. On the other hand, my work bow would absolutely obliterate the entire target.
“I didn’t say I wasn’t upset,” Benny responds, gritting his teeth as he knocks his arrow. “I just said that I’m not mad at you.”
I sigh, exasperated. “Then what are you mad at, Benny?”
Benny turns on me, his eyes hostile — as soon as they land on me, though, his expression softens. “Serena… have you considered that becoming a sentinel is one of the only things that can fix me.”
I wince. Right, Benny’s dysphoria. He’s never spoken to me about it in detail, having mostly just given me hints when I’ve pushed. However, I’ve managed to put together somewhat of a picture of what’s bothering him. Plain and simple, he just doesn’t feel comfortable in his body.
That isn’t a symptom unique to Benny, most people don’t feel entirely comfortable with how they look. Either they won’t like their nose or their weight or maybe their height. Almost everyone has something they want to change about themselves and I’m no exception. Well… I’d been no exception… before. Becoming a sentinel had smoothed away a lot of flaws and ranking up is continuing the process.
Akari is getting taller, Claire more muscular, and Baylee is becoming even more of a beauty than she was before. I’m not entirely sure what changes have manifested in me, but I’m certain they’re there. That must be what Benny is angry about. The fact I’ve become a sentinel is slowly perfecting me, and he doesn’t have that opportunity.
Still, I can’t entirely understand. Benny already has what most would consider ideal. He’s not overly tall, but he’s handsome enough, and practicing archery has given his arms some muscular tone. What is it that he dislikes about himself so fervently that becoming a sentinel is the only way to fix it?
“I’m sorry, Benny,” I say. “I didn’t consider that.”
In a swift, almost violent, motion, Benny whirls on the target, draws back his string, and fires his arrow. This one punches into the direct center of the red circle.
Benny watches his arrow for a long moment before fetching another from the bin. Realizing I’ve paused in my shooting, I follow suit.
“No, Serena; I’m sorry,” Benny says, knocking his arrow. “You’ve clearly been through something traumatic, and I’m focused on myself. Of everyone I’ve met, you are the one who deserves to be a sentinel the most… not me.”
We fall silent as I’m lost for words. For a few minutes, we just stand and fire arrows into the target — my aim made all the worse by the occasional peels of thunder.
Eventually, I speak up once more. “I don’t really know what to say to that. I’m not sure I feel anyone deserves to be a sentinel.”
Benny glances up, “Why do you say that?”
I shake my head sadly, remembering what had nearly happened to Nash. Stars, was that really only last night?
“I counted them this morning,” I say softly. “The number of deaths I’ve seen since I’ve personally seen since becoming a sentinel around two weeks ago. Fifteen… I’ve seen fifteen people die, Benny. One of them because I put an arrow through his heart.”
I turn to Benny, who now watches me with wide eyes. “I’ve been impaled, watched Claire lose her arm, and have fought to the death with both men and volcora. From the outside, people only see the power and beauty of sentinels. They don’t see what happens behind the scenes… they don’t see how it breaks us. But I have to learn to live with it, to figure out who I am now that I’ve seen and done those kinds of things.”
“I really, truly don’t know if anyone deserves the kind of powers I have now,” I continue. “I’ve killed a man. I’ve seen sentinels so powerful they could probably destroy this city singlehandedly. So, trust me when I say… I get it. I know you’re in pain. Even if you do get the option to become a sentinel, though… just know you might be trading one hell for another.”
Benny watches me for a long, silent moment. Then, he turns away. “Better to fight and die as me than live as the freak I am now.”
My eyes open wide at his words. I meant to try and dissuade him from the idea of becoming a sentinel, but it seems my words have only deepened his desperation to get a familiar.
I’m forced into silence as Mr. Yamamoto paces behind us, standing there for a moment as he observes us shooting. Forcing myself to focus on the simple task of archery, I’m able to hit my next few arrows fairly consistently close to the center, my thoughts about Benny distracting me from my fear of the rain.
Once Mr. Yamamoto leaves once more, I speak the words I’ve been considering for years. “Benny… I think it’s time for you to tell me what’s really going on with you. I have ideas, but… well, I just want to know how to help. The way you’re talking… that isn’t healthy, and you know it.”
Power flairs in my center, and I realize with shock that I’ve just used my title again. I hadn’t intended to, but… well, I don’t try to stop it.
Benny looks to me, the conflict clear in his eyes. For a long moment, he just stares at me — as if evaluating. Finally, he nods. “Okay… but not here. Not today.”
***
“A gym?” Claire asks, looking around with confusion.
School had ended a few hours ago and now we are onto the physical exercise part of Kayne and Audrey’s training plan. Apparently, that means a gym to go work out at.
The room around us is a fairly typical gym lobby, although quite a bit nicer for the hefty monthly payment it costs to get a membership. The floor is made of polished tile and the entire place is decorated with typical Japanese attire — although it seems more like an American’s idea of Japanese attire then the real thing.
Everything is made of sleek blacks and contrasting whites with Yin-Yang symbols painted on the walls and the floor. An old fashion samurai sword hangs behind a beautiful water feature that shimmers with the setting sun shining in through the far window — although the light is still weakened by the lingering storm.
I look around with wonder and a bit of skepticism. Do we really need to pay 45,000 yen a month to work out? I know I make a lot of money now, but this is ridiculous.
Kayne stands before us in the lobby wearing a tank top and running shorts, and I have to admit that the guy is ridiculously ripped. With his broad shoulders, massive arms, and intense dark eyes, it’s no wonder the female gym goers find their eyes straying for a little too long.
“Yes, a gym,” Kayne says with a shrug. “You don’t have to go to this one either; I just like it. What you do need is to follow a regular workout regimen. Come.”
With a wave of his hand, Kayne leads us past the receptionist's desk and further back into the building. Navigating quickly, he leads us past dozens of doors and open spaces filled with gym equipment and sweaty people. I’d expected the entire place to reek of sweat, but it doesn’t, instead having a faint lavender scent.
Walking up to a door towards the back of the complex, Kayne produces a keycard from his inventory in a plume of flame and taps it against the reader. It beeps and blinks green, and he pushes open the door — his keycard vanishing in flames once more.
“For an extra fee, you can reserve personal rooms to work out in. I have one that I hold onto perpetually, but I’ve taken the initiative to book this one out for your team every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday night for the next three months. After that, you’ll have to pay for yourselves, but I imagine you’ll want to continue,” Kayne explains.
Looking around, I have to admit that working out with just us is appealing. Not to mention that this room is incredible. With several treadmills, stair steppers, bikes, and various other machines, this place seems to have at least one of everything we might want. On top of it all, there is a massive floor-to-ceiling window looking out not over the city but the ocean. This building is close enough to the edge of Shinara and high up enough to offer a pristine view of the ocean lit by the setting sun and spattered with the still sprinkling rain.
I turn to Kayne with amazement. The private room is massive and absolutely stunning. How much had he spent on reserving it for us?
“Sir… just how much does this room cost?” I ask with amazement.
Kayne shrugs, “The times I’ve booked for you cost about a million yen a month. Trust me, by the time you’ve been a sentinel for three months that’ll feel like nothing. Now, onto workout plans.”
From his inventory, Kayne produces several large packets of paper and hands them out to each of us. To me, he hands two packets. Both of them have my name at the top and are labeled general training and specialized training, respectively. I stare at the packets in awe before flipping through the pages and looking at the calculations, the exercises, and the sheer amount of detail put into each one. Stars, they even included details about recommended diets! Furthermore, it appears that everyone on the team had gotten a different set.
“Did you type these?” I ask, my eyes wide.
Kayne nods, “Each of you needed a different training plan, and this was the best way to communicate them to you, as I won’t be able to be here to personally train you every day. I’ll do my best to attend at least one of these sessions a week, but incursions won’t always allow for my scheduling.”
My eyes water at the effort that had clearly gone into these plans, getting the gym room for us, and his likely using some of the only free time he has to work on these. As much as I like Audrey, I just can’t imagine her putting in this kind of effort. Despite being kind of an asshole, Kayne is the only one at the GDF who seems to genuinely care for us.
I look up at the big man, trying to hold back tears. “Thank you… Truly, Kayne. This means a lot.”
Kayne just shrugs, looking slightly sheepish. “You’re sentinels. You deserve the chance to become the best you can be.”
Swallowing, Kayne continues. “Now, come and let me walk you through these training plans. You’ll be alternating between your general plan and your specialized plan from week to week. At first, you’ll be focusing more on your general plan to get you fit, and then we’ll be moving more towards your specialized plan to make sure that you have the athletic training to fit your abilities as a sentinel.”
Comments
CringeWorthyStudios
I look around with wonder and a bit of skepticism. Do we really need to pay 45,000 yen a month to work out? I know I make a lot of money now, but this is ridiculous. > and here I thought my gym membership was expensive at an eighth of that. Thanks for the chapter!
