Alusion
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Chapter Fifty-Nine: Fallout
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Chapter Fifty-Nine: Fallout
I blink awake with a gasp, sitting bolt upright on the GDF Headquarters rooftop — Audrey hovering over me. Powerful emotions swirl within me, joined by an even more potent thrum of power that seems to burn through my veins. I feel strong, stronger than I ever have before, even discounting the remaining weakness of my mana toxicity.
Shooting to my feet and ignoring Audrey’s concerned question, I mentally grab my bond to Celeste like a leash and yank on it — forcing her to manifest.
“How could you!” I scream, anger making my face hot and tears leaking from my eyes. Celeste’s large form — almost as tall as me now on all fours — is still manifesting as I continue. “You didn’t talk it out! You didn’t even try to discuss or argue! You were going to force me! I would have waited! I would have heard you out!”
I can barely think with all the rage, betrayal, and deep sorrow burning through me. I haven’t felt like this since my mother’s death; not even the pain of my first incursion zone hurt me this badly.
[Daughter,] Althia’s voice whispers in my mind. [Try not to blame Celeste. The Celestial Truths are-]
“You! Can get the fuck out of my head! My mother is dead, and you certainly aren’t her, you fucking psycho!” I scream before forcibly severing my mental connection with Althia. I didn’t even know I could do that, but Althia isn’t all-powerful on Earth. Not yet, at least.
Livid, I turn a cobalt glare on Celeste, whose wings now have tings of gold among the white, blue, and grey. “How could you!?” I demand.
From the corner of my eye, I notice Audrey, quite wisely, backing to the edge of the roof and making herself scarce. A good decision. In my current state, anyone who gets in my way is getting fucking shot, A Rank or not.
[Serena… I,] Celeste starts, her voice now sounding hesitant. I’ve never fought with her, never even raised my voice at her. Even when she kept Althia secret from me, even when she refused to provide answers when I was drowning in the fear of everything I knew being destroyed, I have never yelled at Celeste, not before now.
[My mother… she said that if-] she starts, before seeming to realize she said something wrong as my eyes blaze cobalt blue.
“She put you up to this?” I demand, quieter now. “Celeste… you were going to force me to change myself into something new. I took you to my mother’s grave I… I treated you like family. How could you not at least talk to me?”
Tears stream down my face now, being blown away by the powerful wind, my anger fading as my pain continues to build. I just keep trying to figure out what I did wrong. Did I not listen to Celeste enough? Did I not give her enough freedom? Why would she do this?
I find myself sinking to my knees on the hard rooftop, the skirts of Jessie’s old dress swirling around me as I look up at Celeste. “Why?” I ask… a single broken question.
[Serena… F-For my entire life, the Celestial Truths have been everything… A certainty, a path I would absolutely walk. I… I know you, Serena. I watched as you made up your mind not to pick it. Can you honestly, genuinely tell me that you would have ever picked that path?] Celeste asks, and while she sounds ashamed, some of that angry fire I felt from her in our ascension dream still remains.
“Celeste…” I whisper, “Did you not see? That path would have changed us, not just me but you. You are kind and caring. You made sure we saw those children safe when you found them in that Reaver base. You comforted me and helped me in my times of most need. That version of you… that would go away if you picked that path. Did you not see that? Did you not look?”
[But… the truths govern those things… they give us the rules for us to live by,] Celeste says softly.
“Rules with loopholes, Celeste,” I say, forcing myself back to my feet. Even then, though, with Celeste’s new size, I can’t help but feel tiny. I’ve always known that Celeste was a Centurion, something strange and alien to me. For so long, though, she’s acted so kind, so human. And this… well, I suppose it’s the most human thing she’s done yet.
[I… but mother taught…] Celeste sounds confused — as if she did see what the path would do, but she chose to go with it anyway, as if the real reason she wanted that path was for her mother, not for herself.
“You still haven’t apologized,” I say softly, my voice laced with grief.
It feels like… like something between us has ruptured, maybe permanently. I’m still not sure what the full ramifications of what Celeste tried to do would have been, but I’m certain that they wouldn’t have been good. That path would have made us into mini copies of Althia.
No matter how this goes now, there will always be a bit of trust missing between us. Trust that I know will be extremely hard to regain.
[You want me to apologize for trying to follow my legacy? For wanting to follow the same path as my entire family?] Celeste asks, a touch of that anger still burning within her.
I shake my head sorrowfully. “No… I want you to apologize for trying to force it on me. You didn’t talk to me; you didn’t even try listening to what I had to say. This is supposed to be a partnership, Celeste: me and you for life. I know that I haven’t always been the best at expressing that, but… stars… how could you do that?”
Finally, Celeste bows her head. [I am sorry, Serena. But please try to understand things from my perspective. Since we bonded, I’ve felt more like an accessory to you than an actual living, thinking person. You decide where we go, when we go there, and what we do when we arrive. I know that I’ve mostly gone along with things like that, but... it would be nice if you actually asked my opinion once in a while. I’m not just some extra power you got when you became a sentinel; I’m supposed to be your partner.]
Letting out a breath, I nod. “Neither of us are used to this bond, not really. Despite how much has happened, it’s only been a few weeks. But please… talk to me. There is no partnership without communication. If you want me to go somewhere else or do something else, you need to tell me that. If you really, really wanted to follow the Celestial Truths, we should have had a conversation! Stars Celeste, two become one, remember? We’re stuck with each other now, forever. There are no takebacks. That means we have to work through this.”
Pausing, I take a moment to gather my thoughts. “Celeste, I will swear to you right now that I will listen and talk it out whenever you voice an opinion, and we won’t move forward with an option unless we both agree. I won’t just assume I have the final say on things. In turn, though, you have to actually talk to me. You can’t just try to force me into something as important as our ascension, a decision that affects both of our entire futures forever.”
[Very well,] Celeste says, her head still bowed.
Through our bond, I finally start to feel shame pouring off her. Perhaps she has finally begun to feel just how much pain she caused with that one brash action. Maybe she can finally tell that I will never be able to trust her in the same way again. At least, not for a long time.
I let out a long breath. “Alright, now that that is settled, let’s try and figure out what’s going on with our ascension.”
This isn’t over, not by a long shot — trust has been fractured, likely by both parties. However, there are better places to air our dirty laundry than on the GDF Headquarters roof in front of my mentor. Despite how much time we’ve spent together recently, I’m forcibly reminded of how little I actually know about Celeste. She’s been able to watch me living my life, but the same hasn’t really been true for me. Sure, Celeste lives with me, but this isn’t her home or even her reality. I’m willing to bet that Earth feels as alien to her as her world would to me.
None of that is an excuse for her actions, though. In the past, Celeste has acted a bit impulsively. Things like showing herself to Benny without asking first and causing general chaos in school for the professors. Those, however, were always small, excusable things. Celeste is allowed to have her own agency, after all. I just never realized that her impulsiveness would extend to something like this.
Running a hand through my hair, I turn to Audrey, who still stands at the side of the roof and pretends not to have been listening — which she absolutely was. As an A Rank, I imagine it’s rather hard not to find yourself eavesdropping on everyone’s conversations, and I wasn’t exactly quiet.
Noticing my gaze, Audrey straightens and begins to walk over — somehow managing to look dignified, even with her hair blowing absolutely everywhere.
To my surprise, as she walks, Astra appears beside her. The lithe feline figure stalks toward Celeste as Audrey stalks toward me.
When she arrives by my side, Audrey gently takes me by the shoulder and leads me toward the small room that covers the elevator. While Celeste looks after me as I go, I notice Astra moving to sit before her.
Silently, Audrey and I stride into the little room, Audrey shutting the door to give us shelter from the wind.
“Your hair is kind of a mess,” I comment absently as we move to sit together on the hard concrete floor.
In response, Audrey just winks. Then, collecting her profoundly messy hair into her hands she tosses it behind her head. As I watch, the hair actively begins to untangle itself, strands sliding free from snags until her hair is pristine again mere seconds later.
“Perks of being A Rank,” Audrey says happily. “My body is so incredibly close to my soul that even my hair will actively work to return to my desired state.”
Absently, I pull my own hair around from where it’s bound in a ponytail. The tail helped somewhat, but brushing it out when I get home is going to be an absolute nightmare.
“So,” Audrey says, “I heard some of that, so I have a few guesses on what happened. Celeste tried, and perhaps succeeded, in forcing you to take that third option. Yeah?”
My eyes fall, and I hug my knees to my chest. “She only kind of succeeded. More of me being a special cookie, as you’d say it.”
Audrey waves her hand, “Yeah, yeah. We’ll talk about that part later. What we need to discuss is Celeste trying to force a path on you. That is profoundly not cool, but I could only hear your side of the argument.”
“She said that she didn’t trust that I would give her agency,” I say, my voice a soft monotone. “She wanted to follow her mother’s path so badly, and when it looked like I wouldn’t choose it, she tried to force it on me.”
Audrey nods, “I get it, kid. Well, I suppose I don’t have too much advice to give. You acquitted yourself decently in that argument. Communication is the number one part of a partnership. Just remember that it goes both ways. You have to reach out to Celeste as much as she does to you. That’s the only way things will work out from here. Maybe asking things of you isn’t natural to her, and you need to take the first step.”
I squeeze my legs to my chest. “I know… I’ll try…” I manage, my voice faltering. I can’t help it; the hurt of what happened threatens to overwhelm me. Both what happened and how Celeste feels about me. Does she really think I wouldn’t listen to her? I mean, I know I never asked her opinion before going to school or on GDF assignments, but I never knew she might disagree. And even if she does, what am I supposed to do? Ignore orders?
“Did I ever tell you,” Audrey starts, “about when Astra tried to kill my father?”
This causes me to look up sharply. “No… what? Why would she do that?”
Audrey laughs, “Well, dear old Dad and I never did get along very well. I was freshly D Rank like you are now, and I was starting to feel a bit big for my britches. Didn’t want to take his holier-than-thou attitude anymore, you know? The argument was a bad one, and it went on for nearly an hour. At the end, though, Dad slapped me across the face. I wasn’t in my assault state, so it actually genuinely hurt and shocked me.”
“Now,” Audrey continues, “by that point, I already taught Astra that not all humans are good. All sentinels always end up dealing with at least a bit of crime, even if we aren’t supposed to. Anyway, Astra decided that, by striking me, my father proved himself to not be good. She saw a man, much bigger than me, do me harm, so she made herself visible, grew to the size Celeste is now, and started mauling my father.”
My eyes are wide as Audrey waves her hand, images of a massive starlight panther appearing before us out of stardust and pouncing on a human figure.
“I yelled at Astra — screamed at her to get off of him,” Audrey says. “She did, eventually, but my dad needed to be rushed to the emergency room, and I needed to call in Jessie to heal him, or he would have died. He still has to wear a prosthetic leg, though, as Jessie didn’t have the capability — or really the desire — to regrow it by that point.”
“So… you felt like Astra betrayed your trust?” I ask.
Audrey waves her hand. “Yes and no. Astra thought she was protecting me — like she always does — and while my dad striking me was not alright, she misinterpreted it as an outright assault. If Jessie didn’t live nearby or didn’t pick up her phone when I called, my father would have died.”
“The point I’m trying to make, Serena, is that our familiars are not human,” Audrey says. “They don’t think like humans, they don’t react like humans, and they don’t make choices like humans. It’s our job to teach them right from wrong. It’s very possible that Celeste is used to having things she doesn’t want forced onto her — stars, maybe she was forced into becoming a familiar in the first place. So, when it looked like you weren’t going to pick the path she wanted, she decided to take matters into her own hands. I’m willing to bet that baby centurions aren’t taught as children to share and talk it out, you know?”
“I’m not saying that’s right, just like Astra almost murdering my father wasn’t right, but I am saying that familiars are young, inexperienced, and lost in an alien world with only us sentinels as their guides. What Celeste did wasn’t right, but both of you have to keep trying to move forward. I’ve seen sentinels who try to reject their bond to their familiars, and the result is never pretty.”
Sighing, I say, “I understand that. It doesn’t make it easier, though.”
“And it won’t be easy,” Audrey says. "That’s why you need a mentor to walk you through it. Now, let’s do some damage control. Did you actually end up with the path you didn’t want?”
At this, I give her a so-so gesture. “Celeste and I touched both paths at the same time, and they kind of merged together. Did you know that could happen?”
Audrey shakes her head. “It’s been tried with the two normal paths, but generally, one or the other gets defaulted to. I haven’t heard of anyone else having a third option, though, and even if there have been some, they may not have come out and said it. So, your two paths merged together? What was the result?”
Mentally, I glance over the message I saw right as I was transferring from my soul gem back into my body. “It’s called the Celestial Healer.”
Comments
Alusion
This is all fixed! Glad you liked it! ❤️
Ria Corvidiva
"Celeste was a Centurian." should be 'Centurion' TFTC <3
Metal(Liz)ard🏳️⚧️
Audrey doing mentor things again finally 💜
