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March 2022 - $1 Tier Apology Email
🕑 Added 2022-04-01 16:01:04 +0000 UTCHello [YOUR NAME],
We have an important update for you on the state of the $1 you loaned us at the beginning of this calendar month. You see, we’ve been dead set on getting that dollar back to you - maybe even with interest, as a sign of goodwill (update from management, we cannot and will not ever include interest in the returned dollar). But something quite shocking and frankly disturbing has occurred that will delay our repayment to you.
As you well know, we are close associates with a Mr. Mousey Smalls. But in case you forget, he’s a friend of the company and a close personal friend as well. Some would consider him an American man, as he speaks fluent English and possesses a social security number. Others would consider him a mouse, because Mousey is in fact a mouse. He is four inches tall and weighs about an ounce, which is impressive for a mouse. He drives a small motorcycle around the town and is a local celebrity. You know all of this, we are sure.
Unfortunately, Mr. Mousey Smalls is part of the reason we cannot return your dollar. You see, it rained last week, and we took it upon ourselves to buy Mr. Mousey Smalls a rain jacket, since he was out of cash. It cost $1 exactly, so we used the one you gave us on a loan. Mousey assured us he’d return your $1, he’d pay us back, but unfortunately, Mousey has been since caught in an unfortunate ‘hostage situation’. We know, bummer. He won’t let anyone in or out of the building, so there’s no way to get his rain jacket back from him if that’d even suffice as payment for you, and much less of a way forward to getting your dollar back.
We hope the situation will be resolved soon, and we appreciate your patience. We’ve gone ahead and debited your card on file for another dollar.
Thanks again, [YOUR NAME], and have a great [INSERT WHAT MONTH IT IS HERE].
Comments
Dom
OuTrAgEoUs
Lucas
Now this is alright.
Jack Peltz
Wow. Can’t believe Mr. Mousey Smalls had to take a hostage.
Morgan Mulhall
Thoughts and prayers for Mr. Mousey Smalls
CheetahZoey
Stay safe with our $1 Mousey 🙏🏻
C.j. Malm
Your story almost checks out, except for one tiny little detail. Mice are not issued social security numbers.
April fool's?!
Cael AJ
Thoughts and prayers go out to the hostages in the Mr. Mousy Smalls Scandal 🙏
ASinglePetal
Egg
Melissa Di Varano
Oh, typical Mousey...
