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April 2022 - $1 Apology Email
🕑 Added 2022-05-01 17:00:08 +0000 UTCHey [YOUR NAME],
So, you remember how we borrowed your dollar? And said we’d get it back to you? Well, about that…. It’s gonna take a little while longer. But once we explain, we’re sure you’ll understand.
Last night, we were in a car accident. It was really horrible. We had the accident and it was everywhere, all over the car, the seats. It will take us months to get this accident out. And wouldn’t you have it, when we had the accident, we were sitting on the dollar you loaned us. So it was completely covered in accident. We realize how unprofessional and frankly disgusting this all was, so we took the dollar to the local dry cleaners.
The dry cleaner (he wasn’t moist at all, incredibly) told us that unfortunately, due to supply-chain constraints, it would take him four years to clean your dollar. So. We’re sorry, but there’s nothing we can do. In the meantime, we’ve gone ahead and debited your card on file for one more dollar.
Thanks and we’re so proud of you and your [ACHIEVED MILESTONE IN PERSONAL LIFE].
Comments
JumboJimbo
ALL HAIL
Cpt.MeowStache
This feels like something from welcome to nightvale
Alyssa Wong
I'm sad about my dollar, but glad you guys seem to be okay. That must've been a lot of accident.
Matty
Completed
Matty
I appreciate your acknowledgement of my ACHIEVED MILESTONE
Mattari
Four years!? I know a guy who could clean my dollar in THREE. This is an outrage!!!
Melissa Di Varano
Did you guys shid on my dollar?
CheetahZoey
This is brilliant 😂
Jheyda1
Goof’d**
Sadib Khan
You have earned yourself another month of my patronage.
SKS
Oh man, I totally didn't just remember that dollar I loaned you last month! And I'm definitely super upset about it. But I DO appreciate your congratulations about my new job at the chocolate factory doing chocolate science with chocolate, so I suppose I'll let it slide for now.
Christopher Day
Oh man I remember when I accidentally accident'd a bunch of times and now I have 3 kids
Richard Garcia
I'm just glad you guys keep the other 4 of my dollars for a video.
Octo
Can Arin or Dan answer one or two comments instead of these stories about losing my dollar?
Gina Furst
It's ok guys when you gotta go you gotta go 😔
Adventureruler
Jeez louise we got funny guys on here xD
Tim Brown
This happened to my buddy Arin
