ShrikeBandit
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A little prose
🕑 Added 2019-10-08 00:06:13 +0000 UTCI travel a lot for work and am always looking for things to do on the airplane. I thought I’d try my hand at a little prose and then illustrate the story. “Elemental” is what I’ve got. It’s loosely based on the DnD module “Keep on the Borderlands” mixed with the harem novel “Lewd Dungeon.” The attached PDF is just the opening. Let me know what you think.
Comments
legraf
It's a great start, with a lovely heroine and a plausible motivation for her investigating the keep. Like seventwentyfive I really like the teleportation spell. Nice "blood roses" - the only thing I'd say there is that these are "flora", not "fauna" (you say the fauna poisoned her). Good outfit, appropriate description for this introduction ... I'd like to read more. The artwork is a nice addition, and looks rather good - you must have cleaned it up quite a bit.
ShrikeBandit
Thanks! I used Poser to render the original images and then exported them to an app on the iPad, Comic Creator. The app has filters to create all kinds of comic book art. I used line art and then used Photoshop to clean up the image and add more contrast.
cjg20709
Amber's outfit is great; she's a young and fit sorceress so why not show off a bit. Story is quite good so far. I would suggest breaking up the paragraphs on her thoughts and/or new descriptions - if nothing else for readability. How was the art created?
ShrikeBandit
Whoops. The hair color was an inconsistency. What kind of costumes/clothes do you like?
seventwentyfive
Not bad. I'd normally advise against costume porn, but the skimpy outfits are a good part of the fun. I like that teleportation spell, and hope we get to see more of it. Just make sure you're consistent- you described Amber's hair as blonde and auburn, which are two completely different colors
