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Chapter 8: Phase One: The Fool's Dance
🕑 Added 2025-08-04 18:10:14 +0000 UTCNaruto's patience ran out. With a war cry, he launched himself forward.
"HERE I GO!"
He ran in a straight line. No strategy. No subtlety. An orange whirlwind of shouts and dust crossing the training ground's clearing. To Sasuke, watching from the dense branches of a nearby tree, it was the very picture of incompetence.
What an idiot, Sasuke thought, his brow furrowed. He's giving away his position, his speed, everything. He's an open book. A children's story.
Sakura, hidden behind the trunk of an oak tree, nervously bit her lip. Naruto, you baka! He's going to annihilate you in a second! This isn't Iruka-sensei!
Naruto closed the distance. He drew back his right fist, concentrating all his weight into a single, telegraphed punch.
Kakashi didn't even flinch. Just as Naruto's fist was centimeters from his face, the jōnin leaned to the side in a fluid, economical movement. Naruto's fist cut through the air with a whistle.
The momentum threw Naruto off balance, and he stumbled forward.
"Whoa! I almost got you!" he panted, spinning on his heels.
"Almost," Kakashi repeated, his eye still fixed on the page of his novel. "A very generous word to describe what just happened."
He's fast, Naruto thought, his smile never wavering. The euphoria of his master plan bubbled inside him. No, not just fast. He's… efficient. He didn't waste a single millimeter of movement, dodging it like swatting a fly. Just like I remembered, but feeling it is different. I have to make him take this seriously.
"Don't mock me!" he shouted, adopting a surprisingly solid combat stance. "I was just warming up! Now you'll see the real Naruto Uzumaki!"
He lunged again, but this time it wasn't a single strike; it was a flurry. A combination of punches and kicks that flowed with a logic that contradicted his incoherent shouts. A right punch, followed by a left hook, and then a low kick aimed at sweeping Kakashi's feet.
The jōnin dodged the first two strikes with the same dismissive ease, but the low kick forced him to leap backward, his sandals scraping against the dirt. He lifted his eye from his book for the first time.
"Well, well."
Naruto didn't give him time to think. He landed from his failed kick with perfect balance and spun, launching a high kick toward Kakashi's head. The movement was clean, powerful. The air cracked as it passed.
This time, Kakashi had to raise an arm to block it. The dull thud of the impact echoed through the clearing. It wasn't the blow of a weak child. There was weight behind it; there was force.
For an instant, just an instant, Kakashi's eye widened a little more than usual. Surprise.
That form…, the jōnin thought. It was perfect. The spin, the weight transfer… Was it a fluke?
As if reading his mind, Naruto lost his balance as he lowered his leg. He stumbled dramatically and fell to the ground with a thud.
"Damn it! I slipped!" he complained, rubbing his rear. "If I hadn't, I would've taken your head off!"
Kakashi lowered his arm, an almost imperceptible smile forming beneath his mask. Yes. A fluke. A lucky shot. The instincts of a wild animal, nothing more.
"You should be more careful," Kakashi said, returning to his reading. "The battlefield is full of dangers. Including your own feet, apparently."
From his hiding spot, Sasuke's frown deepened. The sequence was too fast, but I didn't miss it. That idiot… he landed a blow. Kakashi had to block. How? It was pure luck. It can't be anything else. It's impossible for that loser to have that kind of taijutsu.
Naruto got to his feet, dusting himself off. His plan was working perfectly. Phase one, "Display Accidental Competence," was complete. Now came the second: "Create Chaos and Gauge True Speed."
"Playtime is over, Sensei! If you won't fight seriously, I'll make you!"
Naruto brought his hands together in a seal that Kakashi recognized instantly.
"Shadow Clone Jutsu!"
Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof!
Four more Narutos appeared in the clearing, each wearing the same defiant grin. They surrounded Kakashi, blocking all his escape routes.
"How about this, huh?" all five shouted at once. "Now it's five against one! Your odds aren't looking so good!"
Kakashi finally closed his book with a soft snap and tucked it into his vest. His lazy gaze swept over each of the clones.
"Well now, the forbidden jutsu. Impressive for a fresh graduate. But… more quantity doesn't always mean more quality."
"We'll see about that!" shouted the original Naruto. "Attack!"
Chaos erupted. All five Narutos charged simultaneously. One from the right, another from the left, two from the front, and one attempting a clumsy trip from behind. They were all yelling, all moving—an orange swarm of pure distraction.
"I'm the real one!" "No, I'm the real one!" "Give up and hand over those bells!"
Kakashi became a blur. He moved between them with lethal grace. An elbow here, a chop to the back of the neck there. Each time he connected, a clone vanished in a puff of smoke.
Poof! "Hey, that was my best clone!"
Poof! "You'll pay for that!"
But Naruto wasn't attacking blindly. While his clones created pandemonium, the real Naruto was observing. He wasn't watching his clones; he was watching Kakashi. Every dodge, every block, every step.
He's good, Naruto thought as one of his clones was dispatched with a spinning kick. He's using the standard academy counterattack for multiple opponents. Anticipate, neutralize, reposition. But it's a pattern. The pattern of someone who doesn't feel threatened. He's playing with us. Good. It's time to stop playing.
Only two clones and the original Naruto remained.
"Plan B!" one of the clones yelled.
The clone on the left threw a kunai at Kakashi. He deflected it with the back of his own hand, the metal screeching as it connected. It was a textbook distraction, obvious.
But it was the only one Naruto needed.
The instant Kakashi's attention focused on the flying kunai, the second clone dispelled. It wasn't hit; it simply vanished. It was a feint within a feint.
And in that same instant, the original Naruto, who had been moving stealthily under the cover of the chaos, appeared. Not from the front. Not from the side.
He appeared directly behind Kakashi.
He had used the commotion, the kunai feint, and the second clone's disappearance to mask his own movement—a burst of pure speed that his new stats allowed for. His hand, fingers outstretched, shot toward the two bells hanging from Kakashi's waist.
Time seemed to slow down.
The lazy smile vanished from Kakashi's eye. It was replaced by genuine, raw surprise. For the first time in the fight, he was in a reactive position.
There was no time for an elegant counterattack. No time for a lecture.
There was only time for speed.
Sakura, from her hiding place, choked back a gasp. He's behind him! Naruto is behind him!
Sasuke straightened up slightly. His eyes widened. Impossible! How did he get there? When?
Naruto's hand was about to touch the metal. He could almost feel the cold of the bells.
Got you!
And then, Kakashi vanished.
Before Naruto could process what had happened, a presence materialized at his back. He felt a chill run down his spine, a primal instinct of imminent danger.
A voice spoke next to his ear, a voice that was no longer lazy, but cold and sharp.
"A shinobi's lesson number two: never turn your back on an enemy."
Naruto didn't have time to turn. He didn't have time to cry out a defense.
He saw Kakashi's hands form a seal he didn't immediately recognize—the Tiger seal.
"Leaf Secret Technique!" Kakashi proclaimed with mocking solemnity. "A Thousand Years of Death!"
Kakashi's index and middle fingers, held together and firm, plunged into Naruto's rear with devastating precision.
Naruto's world exploded in a symphony of pain and humiliation.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"
He was launched through the air like an orange cannonball, tracing a perfect arc toward the nearby river. A loud SPLASH! confirmed his landing spot.
Silence fell over the clearing once more. It was a heavy, stunned silence. Sasuke was frozen in place. What… what just happened? What kind of technique is that? It's… ridiculous. But… Naruto almost did it.
Sakura's face had gone pale with sheer terror.
"Did… did he throw him in the river?!"
Kakashi dusted off his hands, as if cleaning them. His eye was no longer smiling. It was thoughtful.
That was too close, he admitted to himself. His speed at the last second… it wasn't luck. The positioning, the use of the clones as a double feint… it was a solid tactic. How could that kid…? He shook his head. No. It has to be instinct. The unpredictable instinct of a cornered fox. Nothing more. But… even so…
He looked at his own hand, almost as if surprised he'd had to move so fast. I'd better not underestimate him completely.
Just as panic began to form on Sakura's face, a cry of indignation rose from the river. Moments later, a soaked, blond head emerged from the water, sputtering out a mouthful.
"MY BUTT! MY BUTT'S ON FIRE!" he screamed, splashing dangerously. "THAT WAS A LOW BLOW, SENSEI! INHUMAN! CRUEL!"
With a clumsy effort and surprising agility, he managed to get out of the water and crawl to the bank. He was trembling and clutching his rear with both hands, limping dramatically.
"You're gonna pay for this! Nobody messes with the future Hokage's butt!"
The act was perfect. The humiliation, the shouting, the childish complaint. It completely erased the memory of the precise, lethal movement from a moment ago. He was the clown again. The idiot.
Kakashi sighed.
"Maybe now you'll take this a little more seriously."
"Oh, I'm taking it seriously!" Naruto retorted. "I'm taking my revenge very seriously!"
With a final cry of indignation, Naruto limped into the dense woods and disappeared from view.
Oof… that hurt more than I remembered, Naruto thought once he was out of sight, leaning against a tree. The sharp pain in his rear was beginning to subside. But it worked. It worked perfectly.
He mentally reviewed the data. He's fast. Much faster than he lets on. And he didn't use the Sharingan. Not even for that move. That means he's holding back even more than I thought. This is going to be harder. But I got what I needed.
His smile returned, this time a cunning one, invisible to the rest of the world.
Phase one, complete. Speed and reaction measurement, successful. The fool's dance is over.
He glanced over his shoulder toward the clearing.
Now, phase two begins. The Uchiha's pride.
Your turn, Sasuke.
Comments
Ari Gómez García
My apologies, I didn't notice. My translator used the slashes which are used in Spanish dialogues. I'll correct it. Thanks for letting me know.
Jacob
Tftc! But why is the speech not in “” but prefaced by — …?
