Samael61
patreon
Chapter 41 - How to Fleece Rich People 101
🕑 Added 2025-07-24 18:43:40 +0000 UTCAsgard
The banquet would start before noon, followed by the auction, so Robert decided to make use of his time by meeting with several of his guests, starting with Jon and Elbert.
He told them the tale of his adventure in Valyria, from the walking corpses and the monsters roughly in the shape of a human to the damn Archdemon and how he slew it. Elbert was impressed, while Jon was a mix of both pride and weariness at his foster son’s actions.
“My boy, I am grateful you called us to this auction, but a Valyrian steel sword sells for a small fortune, not something House Arryn could afford to part with.”
Robert rolled his eyes and took the sword he was keeping next to his chair, handing it over to the Lord of the Eyrie. “Sheesh, Jon, you are another father to me; I am not going to fleece you. That said, I would appreciate your help with something.” Jon took the sword, unsheathing it, and raised the bastard sword high. The handle was oak, with a silver crescent moon on the pommel, and the guards were in the shape of falcons, a gift fit for House Arryn.
Jon was silent for a while, as for the first time in its existence, House Arryn possessed a Valyrian steel sword.
He thanked Robert with a somber look on his face.
“What do you need our help with?”
“Oh, nothing, you’re just going to play a little game with me during the auction.” Robert proceeded to launch into details regarding his little scheme.
—
Next he met with Baelor, Elia, and, on their insistence, Lynesse, who was making eyes at Robert.
Lord Leyton and Malora were on the cliff, completely uninterested in the politics of the banquet.
“I must say, a demon of all things was not what I expected to be in Valyria.”
“Neither did I. Here.” Robert handed her the diary he had found in that secret underground room. “It belonged to the Valyrian who summoned the demon.”
Elia took the worn and torn diary. “My Valyrian isn’t that good.” She opened the diary regardless, and her eyebrows slowly rose. “This is in English.”
“English?” Baelor asked, not familiar with the language at all, and he was a rather well-read lord.
Robert quickly made up an excuse. “It’s an almost extinct and old language and is closely tied to the dragon dreams, though I am sure you understand that it's kept a secret.”
Baelor was puzzled but nodded. “What does it say?”
“The Valyrian in question wanted to end slavery but, naturally, was met with ridicule. Over time, isolation and the hatred he faced drove him to madness, and he ended up summoning the demon to destroy Valyria but was caught before he could finish the ritual.”
“He is right; the man was getting more erratic with each page.” As she scanned the diary, it was easy to see the man’s writing get messier, with paranoid lines about the dreams and shadows watching him.
Baelor shuddered inwardly, imagining the kind of destruction the demon and its spawn would cause. “I am just glad this matter was resolved without a demon on the loose.”
Robert shrugged, continuing to ignore Lynesse, who was getting frustrated. “Anyway, I have a gift for you.” Robert pulled out another bastard sword, handing it to Baelor, who took it with wide eyes. Its design was much simpler compared to the one he gave to Jon, but Baelor could have the handle remade as he wished.
“Thank you, Robert; I cannot begin to say what a valuable gift this is.”
“So was Doctor Korryn, though I may need your help with something during the auction.” Recruiting the Hightowers was as easy as convincing Jon.
—
His next and final guest before the banquet was the Sealord of Braavos, Ferrego Antaryon, who had just arrived today.
Robert gifted the man a Valyrian steel sword to show his appreciation for the shipwrights, which meant he was no longer in debt.
After regaling someone with his tale for the third time on the same day, Robert prepared himself for the banquet.
—
As expected, neither the Crown nor their allies showed up for the auction.
At least in person.
Addam Marbrand of the Westerlands and House Peake of the Reach were in attendance, even though they had no reason to.
The Peakes were lapdogs for the Tyrells, and no way in hell would anyone from the Westerlands appear in Asgard without Tywin Lannister’s permission.
They feared the old lion too much for that.
Rather than coming in person, they sent proxies, since the opportunity to obtain a Valyrian steel weapon was once in a lifetime.
Robert stood up from his chair in the Great Hall to address the gathered guests. “Welcome, nobles and influential people of both Westeros and Essos. It is my great pleasure to host you all here, to celebrate my victory over the Archdemon Niduan, the one who brought the Doom to Valyria, and for the auction that will follow soon. Now, feast and be merry.” Robert called out, and since the people gathered weren’t the type to show their enthusiasm so easily, he was met with polite but loud clapping.
—
“I can’t believe he didn’t even look at me once.” Lynesse frowned, still trying to attract Robert Baratheon’s attention.
Elia finally had enough of her good sister’s whining and put down her utensils. “Lynesse, he simply is not interested, so why don’t you just give up and look for someone else?” Truly, it was ridiculous how much she ran after Robert.
It felt just like the original Robert from the show talking about Lyanna, only for different reasons.
Her good-sister scowled. “Maybe you should tell me how to get his attention instead. Everyone knows you two are good friends.” The way Lynesse stressed the last word made Elia narrow her eyes.
Elia put down her utensils, resting her chin on her palm, and grinned. “Or he just knows that even all the wealth of Valyria wouldn’t be enough to satisfy your greed and stays away from you.” Lynesse gasped, shocked that Elia would say something like this, while Baelor was alarmed, moving to stop things before his wife and sister caused a scene.
More like Lynesse, since Elia was too conscious of herself to start a fight.
Thankfully, his sister chose to push her seat back with force and stomp off, leaving the feast in her anger.
“Did you really have to say that?” Baelor made sure to curb his sister’s habit of indulging in excessive luxury, but if her future husband did not, he worried about what might happen.
Elia turned to whisper to her husband. “You might coddle her, my dear, but I won’t do the same. Someone needs to tell Lyness to change her ways right to her face, and soon.”
Baelor sighed, knowing his wife was right, and shifted the conversation to a different subject. “So, what was in that book that was so interesting you spent the whole evening on it?”
Rolling his eyes at her husband, Elia pinched him in the ribs. “I was just curious about the Valyrian, that’s all.”
“Anything noteworthy?”
“Well, apparently he found the ritual to summon the demon in a book taken from Asshai. He also killed dragons with magic to harvest their hearts and blood. The parts about shadows watching him were either the demon keeping an eye on him or the Valyrians doing the same, though it could be that he was going mad from the treatment he faced.” It was fascinating, knowing another person who was reborn in this world was responsible for the Doom, even if it wasn’t directly his handiwork.
“Let’s hope Robert doesn’t have the urge to start practicing sorcery now.” Baelor commented offhandedly.
“I don’t care as long as I get my chocolate.” Elia winked, finishing her plate to finally eat that glorious chocolate cake.
—
The guests were done gorging on the feast and made their way to the auction house.
His accomplices in ripping these rich people off were also ready.
Robert would manage the auction himself and stepped up to the podium to explain the process. “Welcome once more, and since I am sure you are all excited for the opportunity, I’ll start by explaining how the auction will work. Next to your chairs, you will find your auctioneer numbers.” Fifty or so seated people took the wooden signals, listening to Robert again.
“I’ll start the bid at a certain price, and by raising your signal and bidding until no one else offers a higher price, you will have the chance to be the proud owner of one of the ten Valyrian steel swords we will be auctioning today.” His guests grumbled in dissatisfaction at the abysmal number of weapons sold compared to how many Robert must have found on the island.
Two really eye-catching beauties dressed in revealing clothes brought the first Valyrian steel sword out, giving the audience a show they had practiced many times before.
All part of the plan.
“Now, our first sword is a hand-and-a-half sword with an oak handle. Bidding starts at five hundred thousand gold.”
An aidee of an Essosi noble raised his number. “Six hundred thousand.”
“We have six hundred thousand from number 27. Do I hear seven hundred thousand?”
The bidding went on and on until the price of the sword stood at one and a half million, with Addam Marbrand having made the last bid.
“One million eight hundred thousand.” Baelor raised his signal, increasing the price of the sword since it appeared no one else was going to.
“We have 1.8 million gold dragons from number 17. Do I hear two million?” Addam Marbrand seemed to be weighing his odds before raising his signal to offer two million gold dragons.
“And number 34 offers two million gold dragons. Anyone willing to go higher?” Robert asked, and the crowd seemed to find the price too high to increase the bid anymore.
“Going once, going twice, and the first item of our auction goes to number 34 for two million gold dragons. You may pick your sword after the auction is over.” Addam Marbrand smiled, though it was strained.
Tywin wasn’t going to be happy.
He consistently hit the two million mark or higher until the last sword, which heated up the competition since this was the last item of the auction.
Titus Peake offered 2.1 million, getting desperate since he wanted to please his liege lord, Mace Tyrell.
Looking at Jon one second longer than necessary, his foster father raised his signal to offer 2.5 million, significantly increasing the price.
Lord of Starpike looked alarmed, turning to make sure it was Jon Arryn and not someone else. House Arryn may be the rulers of Vale, but they couldn’t afford to pay this kind of gold, and he didn’t understand what Jon Arryn was trying to do by beggaring his house.
“Last item of the auction going once, going twice…” Robert raised his gavel, waiting for Titus, who looked ready to burst like a ripe watermelon, to make his offer.
Titus got up and screamed. “Three million!” His bid silenced the room, and Robert could see his friends hide their faces to avoid laughing, though Baelor looked conflicted since it was his good-brother who Robert was ripping off.
Slapping his gavel on the podium, Robert declared Titus Peake the winner. “And the last item goes to number 29.”
Titus looked proud, but Robert knew it wouldn’t last long when Mace Tyrell hears how much the sword would empty his coffers.
Eh, they were rich enough for Cersei to pay off the Crown's debts to the Iron Bank; the Tyrells could handle buying a Valyrian steel sword.
—
With the end of the auction, the winners were lined up inside Valhalla to receive their swords and make their payments.
Addam Marbrand was the first one to receive his sword, or rather, Tywin Lannister’s sword, with carts brimming over with gold dragons drawn inside the hall.
Until Titus Peake stepped up, Robert managed to add twenty million gold dragons to his coffers.
Of course he didn’t have three million gold on his ship and asked for permission to go and bring it to Asgard and then receive the sword.
Robert accepted, with a warning that if payment wasn’t made in one month, it would be sold to the next highest bidder.
Queen of Thorns was going to flip when she heard the news.
Comments
IceAir
Let him die a legend with no legacy with the only way people can be related to him is through his brothers
Phantom knight who can’t think of a better nicknam
I am quite curious who Robert’s going to be paired with
