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Cataclysm War | Chapter 13: Perks of the Position (First Draft)

🕑 Added 2025-12-29 11:25:45 +0000 UTC

Comments

Not happy JAN

Thanks for the chap!

Hannibal Forge

Too late? You mean her crush? Heh.

dragon

You forgot the u in turning when Synthra is told not to ask about his past, also, it's too late for her hahaha, and more of our boy being oblivious.

Hannibal Forge

He does still have it, yes! Which is part of the fun in Chapter 14 when it kicks in.

87894354

Thanks for the chapter. Does he still have a deep discount due to his Terran Forerunner title (B1C4), or did that get retconned away? If he still has it, would it be possible for him to offer said discount to the guild? E.g. someone wants an item from the System. It normally would cost them 50 Aetherium. The person instead gives him 25 Aetherium, he uses it to purchase the item, and then hands the item to the person. Wouldn't work on those things that are bound to the purchaser (presumably all skills, and some items). Also, it would only be available for people that he really, really trusts - he wouldn't want people to know about said title. So, uh, at the moment maybe just his mentor.

LiquidDew

after skimming through a second time it does seem like he might be noticing something is up, but it isn't very clear how much Leo is noticing these tells and how much is coming from the narration.

LiquidDew

ngl I wouldn't hate to see Leo be a bit more insightful socially, especially regarding synthra. given his war hero back story, his total cluelessness feels at odds with his character. he should be better at reading people, even if he isn't looking for romance. instead of him thinking she’s resisting biting his head off, this would be a great time for him to realize her loss of composure is actually embarrassment. shifting from 'she must be so annoyed' to 'why does she seem flustered?' would give unassuming Leo a natural reason to start seeing her in a romanticly (if that is indeed the plan). after a book of one sided attraction and the big reveal in the last chapter, it feels like the perfect time for him to catch on to some degree. just my two cents, though! you're the one most familiar with these characters and you have some idea what's in store for them, so regardless I’m excited to see where you take their dynamic next!

Hannibal Forge

Thanks for the comment! Anything stand out to you?

Bryn

Thanks for the chapter!

Hannibal Forge

I really didn't want to make this another 3.5-4k word chapter, so I'm saving the Store Stuff for Chapter 14, as well as the inevitable text walls that will accompany each potential choice and the benefits/negatives of each. I didn't expect the guild visit to last this long, but it's been fun to write, and I think I've gotten some productive development out of it insofar as defining Leonidas and Synthra's dynamic, as well as better establishing where Bardulf fits in.


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