The Bret Easton Ellis Podcast
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This Week…
🕑 Added 2024-02-20 06:53:59 +0000 UTCHello Platinum Posse, Golden Gangsters and Silver Stallions. As you know, movies, books, television and music are crucial distractions from life’s bleak dungheap. You also know that sometimes the dung piles so high that you can’t outrun the stench. This week is that stench. We can’t give you a show. We will give you a show next week. We love you.
A statement from Bret regarding Todd's arrest:
"What happened to my partner last week here in West Hollywood affected a lot of people and I want to provide some clarification and perspective.
For a long time I was simply blind, not grasping the severity of Todd's situation and how ill he actually was. Mental-health issues and drug addiction have seemingly affected every family I've known, including my own.
I lost my youngest sister to a combination of both last August (she died at 53) and my father's struggles with alcoholism led to his death at 50 in 1992. And my partner of fourteen years has been in its increasing grip for the last decade culminating in a full blown drug-induced psychotic breakdown last week.
He was arrested and is now in lockdown in a psych ward still, days later, unaware of where he is or why he's there.
There is a thin line between loving someone and enabling them - you don't realize it fully until it smacks you in the face. The tough love approach you dread as the partner of an out-of-control addict happened to us first in 2021 when I kicked Todd out of the condo we shared and demanded he place himself in a recovery facility for three and a half months, which he did -grudgingly, forced by me because he had no other financial options left.
But recovering addicts have told me that THEY had to make the decision to get help and being forced by others never worked. Maybe a little but not fully.
Todd had always been someone who I thought was eccentric and erratic but functioning. Due to our age difference we lived semi-separate lives even though we lived together - he had his life and I had mine and they would intersect for long conversations about books, watching movies, having meals. I often wasn't aware that there was another Todd.
People would tell me about his social media rants, worried, and as the enabler I would say 'Oh that's just Todd' or 'That's just performance art' and shrug it off not knowing how unhinged he could get.
The feelings you have for this person who is so obviously in pain blind you to getting them the help they need and if you're a couple YOU become the problem as well by not facing the reality of the situation and getting them that help.
With Todd sometimes it was apparent there was a mania present and then weeks when there wasn't. Days where he would quietly sit at his desk or read Thomas Mann and drink tea and watch movies with me. Where he seemed not only sane and utterly normal but fun and engaging. That was the Todd I sometimes lived with. Until I realized, too late, I wasn't anymore.
After he got out of rehab the first half of 2022 was OK - he had a job, he was taking his meds, he was seeing a therapist, he was calm. But then 'something' started creeping back in and in 2023 it built and built until, like the summer of 2021, was impossible to enable anymore, leading to his meltdown and arrest.
The mania - caused by both mental health issues and drugs - finally blew up in OUR faces. Yes, I had heard from people earlier, years earlier, that Todd was becoming a problem. But I was also a problem by deflecting and not taking action, lost in my own world.
He has a support team and once he is released from the psych ward he will automatically be placed into a long term dual psychiatric-rehab facility.
It is a complicated dance when you're living with an addict with mental health issues and you love and care about: they CAN convince you that everything is fine, and YOU are blinded because you want to believe it too and avoid the pain and stress and heartbreak that comes with your ultimate understanding of the situation - that awful clarity you don't want to face.
There are those of you who reached out and told me how much they loved and cared about Todd and saw the Todd that is loving and funny and intelligent and has so much potential and talent and that's the Todd I mostly knew - and not the 'crazy' and 'vindictive' and 'insane' Todd lashing out at everyone on his videos and livestreams - which I never and still haven’t watched.
I don't think it's too late for him and I hope to know that Todd I first met in 2010 again."
Comments
Bee Garns
Actually reading my comment and yours, I can totally understand that I come across as a bit soft and too diplomatic. I think I’m just a bit hurt by knowing what Todd did because I genuinely thought he was a decent person as he was always nice towards me. My own feelings should come into this discussion as a lot of damage and chaos has been caused by Todd’s behavior. Thank you for pointing this out.
Bee Garns
I don’t think I’m insightful but yes I agree I’m over sensitive, I try my hardest to be diplomatic because that’s just who I am. I don’t like conflict or confrontation which I know is a flaw but who cares? I don’t quite know why you think I’m not entitled to this type of opinion but I respect yours. And yes, it was a long response because I’m still trying to process what’s going on. There are many sides to this story and no one is a “winner”. Sorry for yet another long paragraph!
Neil G.
oversensitive, bullshit responses like this written in long paragraphs to make it look insightful is exactly what the decline of western culture is...not only oversensitivity but the facade of oversensitivity as profound insight...there aren't "both sides" to this...Todd was a POS parody of himself and Bret let him off the hook for too long...hopefully, he will at least have the decency not to let him back in, anymore...but Todd is the definition of not only an awful but a pathetically awful, subhuman thing of the highest order, and he deserves to rot in whatever psych ward he is in...that is a fact...end of story...you are inherently un-entitled from having a response like this because if you believe the wrong thing, print the wrong book, or promote the wrong cause, especially with this level of sensitivity, you don't deserve to live on this planet...get off it before we lose society any further to the destruction of logic by feelings...especially when you think you are insightful, on top of being over-sensitive & illogical
Neil G.
Amazing how it takes him this long to make this move, and he still doesn't understand that Todd was never anything but an overblown parody of himself...calling him "intelligent and funny" at any stage is exactly Bret's lack of awareness, and it feeds into his misunderstanding of the decline of western culture, whether it be Apatow or Lena Dunham or his thinking that Barbie wasn't woke...I know it's strange to connect Todd to Bret's misunderstanding of the last 50 years but it sure fits...he is still a literary genius, but he doesn't quite understand the extent of how nothing and how moronically awful the sensitive bullshit of the last 50 years are...even though he's depicted it through his novels and it's amazing how he's just starting to realize how fucking overblown in shit Todd truly was...but it makes sense, given his passive "Gen X" persona I sincerely hope, at least this time, he won't let him back in...🙄🙄🙄
Pp358
The internet says otherwise, sir.
David Schur
Robert is Todd. Todd is Robert
Iain
I hope that Bret’s okay and that Todd gets the help he needs.
Emily B
Take care Bret and best wishes to Todd
Jose
This is the thing. Bret deserves so much better. It’s time to cut the cord.
Jose
My sister was with my brother in law for 20 years who was a constant negative presence in her life. She loved him, at all times. But today she regrets everything.
Jose
I think Bret sees himself as too old to move on and be by himself. Thing is, with Bret’s intelligence and wit he can be with whoever he wants. Bret needs to be brave and turn the page. Todd is a destructive force in his life.
Tom
Bret, move on. You said yourself you haven’t watched his livestreams all over YouTube. Take a look and see the things he’s said about you for years. You deserve better
Tom
Seriously agree. Todd has been spiralling for years - I’ve only witnessed a small amount when his content has come into my feed but the things he’s said about Bret in YouTube should be enough to move on. “He’s an old man, I’m going to put him in an old folks home, his mother is an XYZ, he’s a narcissist, I’m stealing his credit cards and he doesn’t even know” etc etc I feel so sorry for the poor guy. Bret deserves so much better, he’s a great guy. My heart goes out to him at this time
David Serrano Sewell
Be well.
Garret Rachunok
Hey, where the hell are the new episodes?
Jeffery Williams
I do not have the words. Take care of yourself. I only wish the best for you and yours.
Jose
Move on, Bret.
Giovanni Loddo
Family first, everything else comes second. This community sends you tons of love, Bret.
Happyhead
He’s still in the grips bro. He’s staying with him and paying for his treatment
Bee Garns
Relationships are complicated and evolve over many years. People grow and change and they drift apart. Whatever happens to Bret’s and Todd’s relationship, I hope they manage to find some form of closure. This whole incident has made me realize that these are real people and real life issues, Bret and Todd aren’t simply “characters” performing on the podcast and on Twitter, they’re fragile, complex people who have messy chaotic lives. There are many many sides to every story and not every side is pretty. I may have mixed feelings about Todd right now but I do hope he gets all the help and support that he needs. And if Bret needs to take time away from his work then he should definitely do so. To read about someone’s downfall in a fictional book is one thing, to witness it in real life is a painful harsh experience that I don’t feel any delight in seeing. We should all try to reach out to those who are suffering even if it means confronting some very ugly truths.
Timo
Bret, I completely understand your plight. I, too, enabled my ex as he delved further into drugs causing his low-grade depression to kick into mania. I saw a caricature develop before me. After 6 years of watching him spiral after we separated, I cut him out completely. Now, years later after living on the streets & finding food from trash, he turned around. But he acknowledges nothing I or anyone else did helped him. It's now been several years with steady full-time work, no drugs and his own apartment. It took about two years for my current trust to develop and I told him that after our two year break. I do not advocate for anyone to stick thru it as I believe my experience is rare. But, I understand the impulse to try. Resist it and think of yourself only at this point... you must step back and let the chips fall. Any sort of connection you might have with Todd is far in the future and simply speculative. Fortunately, you have your upcoming directorship and other sources of distraction. Thank you for baring your struggles with us. I hope the best for each of you. Your insight into the human psyche evident in your work will guide you through this. Keep calm, brother.
PETER GREER
Hello you two. A question then a comment please Adam. Bret I was at UNH while you were at Bennington. I’m 59. Did you ever make the pilgrimage to Bean’s or the Polo outlet across the street, which the first by-the-way? Then, I was quite moved by your realization that you have, to use your words “aged out” of former attractiveness. It hit me like brick. Thank you for honesty. I too have gone a touch beyond my expiry date …regards.
Happyhead
And he’s STILL not breaking up with him.
Mike Rankin
Hoping you find strength and hope in the love and support of all of your followers and friends. Sending healing vibes to both of you.
FlyingWaffle
Hope you stay strong and that you both will get better soon.
T Frick
Such thoughtful and warm words for a dire situation. My mom passed away from alcoholism last year, everyone in my family is an addict of something, and I found the fellowship Adult Children of Alcoholics & Dysfunctional Families (ACA) helpful. Wishing you and Todd a healthy recovery.
Harold B
That’d be amazing if he was so moved by this post that this time he’d actually say something after his run.
Jim Weaver
Thank you Bret for sharing, God bless you and Todd.
Sander August Schadenberg
Wish you guys the best!
Tommy Stronach
Take care Bret, Todd and Adam. Just going to crank up The Eagles on full blast in the meantime. “Don't you draw the queen of diamonds , boy….”
Pp358
Is Robert saying more after his run?
cameron dunham
An honest and heartfelt account where I really empathise with the accountability you feel. I think that it's fair to say that your writing, in its own strange way, has been a companion to many of us in our not so great times. I hope that you are feeling the care and support of us, your strange, but dedicated, fan base, at what must be a not so great time for you, Bret.
Marcelo
Love you guys ❤️
Peter Guzzo
Sorry to hear about Todd. Hopefully he can get the help he needs.
Darren
Take care Bret. Love the podcast. When we finally hear the next episode please talk more about the recently announced Relapse. I can’t wait to hear more about your directorial debut.
Vickie Lynn Marshall
Thinking of you BEE and sending lots of love ❤️
Justin
Have a heart. They’ve been together for almost 15 years.
John Q. Thompson
Bret should be realizing now's the time to cut Todd loose, how many strikes he gonna give this guy??
Kelly Morris
Wishing the best for you and Todd.
Justin
Take care, Bret, Adam & Todd.
Michael Madonna
Wishing you all the best Brett , you are my favorite Podcaster and I'm rooting for you !
Brad Turner
Take care of yourself. We’ll be fine.
Jeffery Williams
Hope everything is cool. Don’t worry about the show, anticipation……
Tim Molloy
Sending you all the best. We can make it a week.
Twan Van Geel
❤️👊🏼
Bill Condor
Love and light 🙏❤️⚡️🤘
Max
Wishing you the best, Bret. Much love to you and Adam.
Pp358
Life is complex and I love all three of you. Fuckin’ hell. What else does a gal say.
Gary Wood
You and Adam give us so much! Maybe I’ll re-listen to the Max Landis episodes this week. See you next week! P.S. just saw the statement re: Todd. How did I miss this yesterday? Damn, I really feel for all those involved. Sending love.
Moz
Take care of what matters most, best wishes
Duane Swierczynski
Take care, Bret.
Kerry
One day at a time, take care of you
Josechu Carreras
Hope all is well
Thomas Edwards
Take care of yourselves until next time. Health above all else. Best wishes.
