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58. The First Queen

🕑 Added 2020-02-20 02:42:47 +0000 UTC

Comments

SunderGoldmane

That little parable about playing tea with a broken pot and realizing you need real water and then coming to terms with how small your revelations are struck some intangible chord in me.

Mecanimus

DOUBLE CHEEKED UP

Bunny Waffles

All things considered, at the end of the day all that matters is that if you have the better ass, then you are the true winner. Also, every time her ass is mentioned, especially during her attempts to disguise herself as a guy and it betrays her with its bountifulness, I cant help but think of this. https://youtu.be/qiBt_pXbXmQ

Nicholas Paterson

I've got enough free time, I'd love to

Mecanimus

I chose Babylon and Assyria because I wanted to get somewhat close to the 'historical' Semiramis, it's cool that you know about that period. Actually I placed two lions at the entrance of her home in the Bingle arc, the one where they find Sinead, because they are prevalent in Assyrian and Sumerian cultures if I remember properly.

Mecanimus

I mean on the original doc, before I post ;)

Mecanimus

Every time I post I'm afraid this will be the one chapter people do not like. So thanks for the comments it really makes me feel better.

Tyler B

So that means Ariane's ass is legendary right? Thanks for the chapter and the backstory. I find it very interesting that they were born in a place literally called the cradle of civilization. Before she said Babylon, I was gonna guess Sumer, just because it was the oldest. But Babylon makes the most sense. Or maybe Assyria, hmmm......anyway, I was worried about my cute Ariane for a minute. Imagine finding out you aren't who you thought you were for so long, *shivers* terrifying.

Nicholas Paterson

I'm already proofreading, aren't I?

Mecanimus

Thanks and good catches, all edits made. I wouldn't be too worried about me not making mistakes. In fact, if you really do enjoy tracking them I can always use another proofreader.

Nicholas Paterson

Great chapter. Nice to see you include a power ceiling, even if they are demigods. I only found four errors and the first one is a little iffy, it could work either way. A few sentences sounded odd, but it might just be me being uncultured so I didn't touch them. you telling me… That we -> you telling me… that we (same thought, so no capitalization) I Don’t have a soul -> I don’t have a soul dismissively,” you -> dismissively, ”you an unique achievement. -> a unique achievement. (it just sounds weird) I'm getting worried that you'll eventually release chapters without any spelling or grammatical errors. I enjoy looking for them, it's like a scavenger hunt.

tibbish

Solid chapter author, beat my expectations by a mile!

Mecanimus

Nah I fucked up. And bloodlines may be elaborated on next time!

carebear90

Is it on purpose, that they stop talking in "vampire language" near the end? A very interesting chapter. So basically... Semiramis and the Watcher are the creators of all the vampire Progenitors. I forgot, if that was mentioned before, but... are there any other Progenitors left besides Nirari? Or are the other clans all ruled by later generations?

ColourMyAlphabet

But Ari, after Semiramis revelation this chapter it isn't even your own ass ;_; Or maybe, maybe original Ari's ass has had such gravity that it basically anchored her soul in her body so that Ari is still Ari!! Ohhh, this is (head)canon now

Zachary Smith

My estimation of the length of a chapter is about 4-5 thousand words. (Let me know btw, I’d like to know how close or far off the mark I am). So five days between chaps is 1000 words a day which I think is impressive.

Mecanimus

I try to post every five days on average on Patreon.

Zachary Smith

That last line, HAH! Thanks for the early chapter. Today I was getting excited that tmr is Friday and I’ll get to read more of the story, so this is a very pleasant surprise!

Darren Li

First comment yeet.


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