Patrefans
Mecanimus  from patreon
Mecanimus patreon

53. Three is a Crowd (trigger warning: racial slur)

🕑 Added 2020-01-24 13:58:23 +0000 UTC

Comments

Garbled Sounds

She's putting together an interesting crew, presumably just before she goes into the vampire society.

Mecanimus

To answer your last question... Yes they do ;)

Mecanimus

;) You're welcome.

Mecanimus

Reading comments like those is always such a pleasure. Posting makes me nervous.

Mecanimus

All edits made thanks guys.

Mecanimus

Yes those are good points, I already used racist terms before and the time piece needs ot if I want a realistic description of the age.

Nicholas Paterson

I need to find away to escape -> I need to find a way to escape? “Hah, you found her! Is she… Alright?” -> “Hah, you found her! Is she… alright?” and while I no not expect you -> and while I do not expect you crushed when they step out of bond. -> crushed when they step out of bounds? I am no done though. -> I am not done though.

carebear90

I wouldn't worry to much about it. It would be weird if slurs were missing. It helps, that our protagonist is not human and can take the viewpoint of "those silly humans and their need of racial seperation..." I mean... we have it in this chapter... "Europeans" are not "her people"... she is a vampire. And "mutt" for werewolf in this context seems not any better or worse than any racial slur mundane humans used for each other throughout history.

carebear90

Drunk Ari is best Ari... ^^ Hmm... woman with two kids? And wizards. I'd expected the Order of Gabriel may find her after the prison break, but wizards? Well... the kids she can't know because of the time past since the treasure hunt, but I guess the woman would be the mage from back then? Now the question is, why is she there and are the wizards there for her or for Ariane? I forgot... do mages age slower than mundane people in this world or not?

carebear90

The first sentence... "the(n) another"

ParoxysmDK

I can relate completely, this story is by far my favorite of any i follow, and i love how unpredictable the plot feels. Every chapter i read is a pleasant surprise, and i like all the characters that have been introduced so far. By far the best vampire story i've had the pleasure of reading, also the most true to my idea of what a vampire/vampire society should be like.

The woman with the kids had gotta be that little red head mage right? Anyway thanks for the best story out there. Long chapters, cute loveable protagonist (teehee), and great side characters.

L Pedersen

Damnit, patreon ate my comment again :|

Bloodorange17

isolated fro most turmoil -> from

L Pedersen

Whenever I see a new post for this story I just become happy <3

L Pedersen

If you want it to be a period piece then not having that word in usage would be strange. Besides, you used "Coolie" earlier in the story and while that word isn't as... (bad doesn't fit here but you get the gist) It's still in the same vein. Though I'm pretty sure it's going to be antagonists using the literary nuke which makes it more palatible to people who might get upset over seeing it.

ColourMyAlphabet

Two day later -> Two days later

Anghwrtais

Thank you for the chapter.

ASmallFish

I open he gate find myself in a bedroom. -> I open the gate, finding myself in a bedroom.

tibbish

Its fine for the time period. Nearly everyone was racist back then and while true abolitionists did exist they weren't common at all.

Mecanimus

This is the typo comment, list them here.

Mecanimus

Just quickly to address the use of racial slurs, I decided that I would not sterilize the story. I will keep using rude words as well as sexual descriptions in the future, however I will also warn my readers in advance.


More Creators