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The Calamitous Bob 196: Harrakan Viv’s Instant Portable Rearmament Program™

🕑 Added 2024-03-30 15:32:38 +0000 UTC

Comments

Raven

Yup. Just hope the Karks don't follow his glorious example!

M. Lampi

The camp had to be closeby. ==> The camp had to be close by. The master who should have struck unimpeded was tore in half. ==> The master who should have struck unimpeded was torn in half. She should have done it before, and curse looking for openings. ==> She should have done it before, and cursed, looking for openings. Viv learned that the favorite kark infantry tactics was something that reminded her ==> Viv learned that the favorite kark infantry tactic was something that reminded her Oh but we have the metal. I am sure that I can come up ==> Oh, but we have the metal. I am sure that I can come up

Blake Noyes

Last sentence is talking about Genghis right?

Lijwent

"changing history is my thing, whether it is willing or not" Poor history

Oskatat

Or Russian Could go either way

Oskatat

I like the idea of spider-riding archers. Honestly sounds very useful in a jungle or a place with a lot of canyons and such. Lances could work. It's probably not a good idea to give them swords as those wouldn't be long enough to reach far past the legs of a spider.

DAK

I would have liked more clarity on that section as well, but I think that the weirdness is largely because it’s a description of fate magic. Essentially, a fate based black mana artifact had begun its move/skill/sequence and it is therefore finished. Except Viv broke fate, and the thing that was destined to happen (and therefore, from at least one angle, did happen), did in fact NOT happen. Viv and everyone else seemed happy at the end, so one presumes the self sacrificing Hadal did not in fact die…

STORRM

killing something older than civilisation is so metal

Aguy768

Viv really should get some ponies for a group of witchpact bow cavalry. Merl spiders would likely work as well. The Mongols used short legged ponies since the are way more agile then large fast horses. The agility to dodge return fire allowed them to pick opponents apart one-sided ly.

BramBora

I wonder how it compares to the dragon slaying artifact sword

BramBora

Viv can also kill avatars without artifacts, Irao is a full(probably) step above her, and much older too

lenkite

So, one of the Hadal Firstborn fell to the [Dark Blade] ? Because it was said that the The Dark Blade finished its course just after that.

M. Gunnarsson

It might make a nice gift for Solfis. He can mount it on his trophy room wall. Next to the head of the poor soul who points it at Viv the next time they try.

Anonymous Person

Presumably, one of the Hadal firstborn tried to put herself between Viv and an artifact weilding assassin. They see her as a savior of their people from extinction, and it wouldn't be the first time one died protecting her from assassination. However, unlike the last few times, this time Viv was strong enough to protect herself and prevent the Hadal from getting herself skewered too.

Nyye

"Proxy war? Check. International weapons trade? Check. Deploying shady (and possibly autistic) operatives? Double check." Ah shit, Viv has turned into an American...

Kitty kat

If it was possible to express how much I love this through words alone! I want to scream praises to the heavens, but my cat is on my chest and I'm not ready to die yet.

Senko

I

Senko

Why do I have a feeling in a few years Viv will come back yo catch up with Marruk only to find the Kark have a new God. "All hail the black calamity. Forger of artifacts, bringer of change and destroyer of our enemies." I also agree with Arthur constantly making attifacts is not normal behaviour.

Trevor Mergen

Awesome chapter! Thanks!

sebsebs

I don't understand what happened when Shon targeted Viv with the Dark Blade. Who was the woman with yellow eyes ?

BelligerentGnu

Is she missing any specific major group? Maybe the golem?

Julian

Heh And I thought it will be attempt to locate blackblades hq, as they will probably try to recover namestake.

David Morrison

Awesome! TFTC

Roombot

Wait a second. Is the title a pun on regenerating missing limbs?

Roombot

That can’t possibly be it! 😉

RainyCats

I love you man, both Journey and Bob have been such a delight

Mecanimus

Naaaah they would also need a cult of personality, aggressive expansion, an indoctrinated military and oh… oh no!

Mecanimus

And dental.

Mecanimus

Maybe the author is saving it for a special moment.

Mecanimus

Maybe

Mecanimus

Intimidation will continue until morale improves.

Mecanimus

It’s not on the Richter scale yet.

Mecanimus

I agree that tossing it into the ocean would have been more careful. If you need an in-setting lore reason, Viv's soul senses told her that interacting with the blade was a Bad idea.

Mecanimus

It's a poisoned gift that shouldn't be tangled with. Viv prefers to send it away from her but it's true that hiding it somewhere would have been more cautious. Consider it a gamble.

Mecanimus

Fixing now

Mecanimus

One does not change overnight.

Mecanimus

Needs more phalanx.

Mecanimus

My pleasure.

Mecanimus

It was too good an opportunity.

Clifton

I might join up for that

Ph34r_n0_3V1L

Replying here too to keep suggestions in one place: "My people is proving very patient with me." This one is weird because this is the grammatically correct usage, but almost no one actually uses said correct grammar while speaking. Our brains incorrectly link 'people' as the plural of 'person', and so we say, "My people are proving..." even though it's technically incorrect.

Benjamin Mages

You have to be trolling me. She locks it up in a vault where it can't hurt anyone. Instead it's in the hands of supremacists and giving it to an assassin is, outside of edge cases like Viv, a certain death to whoever they're aiming at. It would pretty much serve her right if they ended up using it to kill, say, Frosthawk. They don't just kill their promising recruits by the truckload to land minor gains, they only pull it out for when they definitely want someone dead more than they want a recruit alive.

Benjamin Mages

That was not my takeaway from that line. My takeaway is that this fight burned almost all of her lifespan. After all, she only needed to live long enough to land the decisive blow to kill Viv, as far as her superiors are concerned it's fine if she literally drops dead right afterwards. That said, it's not explicitly laid out one way or another in text. But I will say there is no support in the text to suggest that anyone not wielding it is affected by it.

T'Ericka

Why would she take a blade that kills it’s weirder? So it can kill one of her people instead? What kind of ruler would she be to keep a weapon that would kill the weirder? Especially when NONE of the Hadals actually need the weapon? That literally makes no sense. By giving it back she lets the Blades destroy their own future by constantly having their brightest use the weapon and kill themselves in the process.

T'Ericka

There is because the girl only used it once and Viv said it had been stealing her life force and she only have a month to live even if she stopped using it. But she literally HADNT been using it. She has ONLY drawn it during the battle with Viv

T'Ericka

😂😂😂

BelligerentGnu

Only Viv cab terrify someone into feeling better.

CAPTAINCAEL

housing would be nice

Nicholas Grey

“Whispers, well, kark whispers, spread across the crowd.” So, audible by a deaf man at thirty meters?

Nicholas Grey

Replying here to keep suggestions in one place: “Blessed by a friendly elemental, dragon, and forged from sky metal” -‘elemental’ and ‘dragon’ are subclauses, both linked to ‘blessed’, they’re separate from ‘forged’ and need their own joiner: “Blessed by a friendly elemental and dragon, and forged from sky metal” -if you want to avoid two ‘and’, the order can be reversed and ‘then’ could be used: “Forged from sky metal, then blessed by a friendly elemental and dragon”

Venalitor

"I have scales!" And it would be a terrible shame if they were scratched.

StuBee3

Great chapter! 😎

Sardeed

Damn right you are!

James Faulkner

Irao is hilarious, and apparently can kill avatars without an artifact 😂 Snoots everywhere are now safe and Viv can’t help but forge artifacts left and right haha

Leviathon251

LMAO I mean at least it's not an ethnostate. The absolute power does make it hard NOT to do dictatorship though. I don't think Harrak has crossed the line into fascism yet. But hey, all they'd need is an enemy they can completely dehumanise, hyper capitalism, and state funded churches and... oh no... oh no, no, no.

Strange Loop Sleuth

I mean a normal blade in the hands of assassins could kill her followers or the Kark as well, so its value as intimidation/killing off their most talented apprentices with every mission where it is deployed...

wanderer117

@Roombot yup, they are totally wrong, but they are diegeticly wrong.

Ty

No snoot shall be booped without consent!” Viv announced in northerner. Lol

Benjamin Mages

... It doesn't do that? As far as the text tells us, using the blade causes it to steal your life away. There is no implication that it does so even sheathed and even less implication that it harms anyone else around.

Cormac

If any real-world military is struggling to recruit, simply follow Viv's strategy: provide glory and goth girls.

Benjamin Mages

So she's flipping a coin hoping it lands on "they won't use it anymore" and hoping it doesn't land on "they start using it on people who aren't me." Basically she's gambling with her followers and the Kark's lives.

SDCard

Thanks for the chapter! A spear capable of wielding dragon fire sounds impressive, seems like a game changer in the hands of an experienced warrior.

Roombot

I keep wondering when her patchwork shield will become an artifact. It represents so many different people saved. It’s basically the record of the Calamity’s legend

jarthur93

did Irao just indirectly admit to taking out an avatar previously.

Roombot

HA! “You’re trying to kill a black elemental with black mana…” now that’s a hoot. Talk about faux pas!

Roombot

Let it never be said that the Lutenese were particularly smart.

Roombot

She did it for intimidation. “I’m so powerful I don’t give a fuck if you come at me with your biggest weapon, I’ll even let you keep it to show how worthless it is against me”

Manlor

They don't need to be skilled rulers when they can burn down your cities from the sky.

Julkur

The Dark Blade pulls life force from the holder even while sheeted. As long as Viv doesn't have a way to dispose it, it kills the holder/wielder and people around

Isiah Debarros

If they really wanted do that they would of attacked with a master assassin the first place also her not-assassin are fighting for fun

Isley

good chappie

Benjamin Mages

Yeah but it can cause damage even in the hands of someone unworthy. Keeping it away from dangerous enemies is enough of a reason in and of itself. Just taking it from them would be the same symbol / taunt / moral breaker you're talking about. The only problem with the whole "I'm so strong I'll give this back to show how unafraid I am of you" is that it can still kill almost anyone else on Viv's side (aside from her fellow real monsters).

Unwillingmainer

For all she's speed running the evil empire game, she really is trying to help and what's right. It's just from the outside it looks like the most hated empire in history is coming back to life with an even more ominous aesthetic. Time to see what some pissed off Karks with good steel and better leadership can do. Oh, and an elemental archwitch and friendly dragon. If this goes well, Viv will have Kark irregulars in no time.

wanderer117

From context anyone that tried to hold onto the blade who was not worthy would die in months or years. Viv didn't want it and her master assassins/scout didn't want it either. So better to use it as a symbol / taunt / moral breaker. I also kinda doubt that if the Black Blades had someone worthy they would have given it to their most promising apprentice for a suicide mission.

wanderer117

From a human supremist perspective: Dragons can't talk, don't build, and don't craft. They are elemental forces of nature. Powerful. Dangerous. But not skilled rulers of empires.

Mantarok1205

Jolly good!

lenkite

"Suddenly, the blade was back in its sheath by Shon’s side." CRITICAL WARNING: EXTREME STUPIDITY IN ACTION! Nyil PENALIZES you by -10 Acuity and -10 Will and -50 WISDOM. When a Master Assassin comes wielding the Dark Blade in next time and kills a few of her people or her allies, Viv can pat herself on the back for GREAT WISDOM.

tr13ze

Thanks for the chapter 😁

SureRuseUser

Viv truly continues to live up to Solfis' expectations, so heartwarming.

Benjamin Mages

Yeah but it sounds like if Irao had wanted it she'd be willing to give it to him, so clearly it's not particularly important to give back.

Jonathan

I'm actually torn on that as something that central to an organization would be a causis belli so the dark blades probably wouldn't stop attacking her or trying to get it back. Then again she could hold onto it during the war and pass it back for more concessions so that an elder doesn't come out and use it. Though, TBH if they have a Master assassin i'd think they'd have sent him instead to make sure the job got done. I can see them all dead or maybe only one left after the last decade.

DM

So good!

Floris Trommel

Good stuff 👍

Benjamin Mages

I liked the chapter but giving back the blade was just stupid. What, does she think that just because she can counter it doesn't mean it won't kill more people in their hands? Maybe even some of her people? Just because Irao doesn't need it doesn't mean they should just give it back.

Andrew

Thank you!

Jan Verner

Thanks for the chapter. This one felt very good and i don’t mind it being a bit late.

Jonathan

Jal and her had shared a bed before, She and Jal She would prove everyone the choices of the Elders was the correct one. choice It was an apprehension that went beyond mere stress, since Shon wasn’t blue either. blue? “My dear Irao. If you want to win without a fight, you need a reputation. If you want a reputation, you must leave survivors. What about you? You could wield the Dark Blade.” “No. Lutenese tool. I don’t need it.” “You could kill an avatar with that thing.” “Viv.” “Yeah?” “I don’t need it.” No correction, just love this exchange. My people is proving very patient with me. Not sure if that should be is or are. Thanks to Viv’s portable militaro-industrial complex, military-industrial You no longer believe in happy ending. a happy ending. OR happy endings. There was also one more gift they had for the yries, and for this one, Arthur actively worked on. There was also one more gift they had for the kark, and this one, Arthur actively worked on. It was a gesture of appreciation for her borgling friend who had smuggled her food when she was small{comma} and that apparently counted for a lot. vents pressed Marruk long before she could finish all her intending preparations: intended

Manlor

Have these idiots forgotten that the heir to the throne is a dragon? Things would have gone bad for them if Viv had died here.

Dipped In Butter

Great chapter. The birth of the artifact when held high by the dude who has eaten a lifetime supply of L’s was a great scene. Looking forward to the upcoming battle

Young Youghurt

Kick those coca cola death squads assess!

Daniel

Thanks for the chapter. I really Love it

Daniel

Thanks.

BaguaBrady

I liked the last part with Frosthawk still tied to the ways of his old masters, but willing to suspend his worry

WarStrider72

All hail Marruk as she leads the Kark to found a new Macedonian Empire!

Isiah Debarros

That was glorious. I really like the part about the red spear

John Anastacio

Thanks for the chapter Meca. Very excellent.

LenoraeKB

Got the dark blade PoV I wanted. That went amusingly close to expectations. Soltis will definitely be proud of Viv's imperialism.

WarStrider72

Thanks for the chapter!

Gibborim

Chappie!

Mecanimus

Sorry for the delay. I'm traveling with my family and some of the stuff took much more time and effort than anticipated. Incidentally, if I'm going to be late, I let it be known on Discord, but I don't send a mail about it because I don't want to ping people. So if you want to know if a chapter is going to be late, you can come to Discord! Yay!

Max

Thanks for the chapter


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