annaleebelle
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Situational Depression
🕑 Added 2020-08-31 21:03:13 +0000 UTCHad no idea that was even a thing.
When I think about it, how could I not? The first time I had depression was when I was 17 and I couldn’t figure out why I felt so... meh. Like life would never be good again, just okay. Alright. Not terrible. Decent.
But I never thought I’d get to feel real joy again.
That too, was situational and almost as soon as I got out of the 2-year relationship I was in (I was 18 by this point) I felt such relief. I felt light, happy, and free to be myself without fear of a life that would require me to fit into someone else’s mold.
Finding out last week that I was depressed (see my last post about being unmotivated) was shocking and unsettling. Not because I care about people knowing, but I was sad that I couldn’t identify it in myself. 😞 It felt so different this time. The amount of resistance I had to literally everything was so aggravating and paralyzing. Working out was torture. Watching tv was lame. Editing was a painstaking test in patience. Putting on makeup felt like a chore. Talking to people on the phone was daunting. Journaling felt more like schoolwork than therapeutic release. Don’t even get me started on meditation. Uuggghhh.
Common symptoms of situational depression include:
- sadness
- hopelessness
- lack of enjoyment in normal activities
- regular crying
- constant worrying, feeling anxious or stressed out
- sleeping difficulties
- disinterest in food
- trouble focusing
- trouble carrying out daily activities
- feeling overwhelmed
- avoiding social situations and interaction
- not taking care of important matters like paying your bills or going to work
- thoughts or attempts at suicide
I HAD NEARLY EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE.
My normal self-care wasn’t working, so I scratched my morning routine and am playing around with new stuff like morning affirmations, learning about different types of spirituality, taking WAY more time off social media, and scheduling time for the things most important to me.
Things like:
- taking care of my body - not just working out, but also overall mobility, spine health, posture, blood flow, gut health, brain health, eating nutritionally balances meals, stretching my hands and feet and other parts of the body I forget about
- Spirituality - currently learning more about tarot, which I see will take me into astrology as well.
- Reading - for brain and eye health
- Patreon - because... duh! It’s important for me to share and I love the deeper connection we can have here without much risk of trolls coming in
- Social media - allows for big, important conversations and I love the opportunity of connecting with so many different people
- ________ business - that’s right... I will be part of a new business venture and am super excited, but can’t share yet! This is going to be a thing that will help humans and the environment!
- Spanish - I really want t connect more with my heritage and can’t wait to be able to communicate effectively eñ Espanol! I’ve been putting it off for a long time, but I’m getting serious. 😬
- Voice lessons? - I’ve wanted to work on my singing for a very long time, but never have. I feel like a challenge will help keep me motivated and a little more out of my head when it comes to dwelling on negatives.
I know this is a LOOONNNG post, but so many people have shared that they’ve felt similarly so I wanted to let you all in on how this goes for me. Perhaps you’ll find something that works for you or someone you know!
Of course, my number one suggestion is always therapy, but I know that’s not doable for everyone. I’m currently doing every two weeks instead of every month so I don’t end up falling into a sadness hole for the last week or two before my next appointment (as that has been my pattern for the last 3 months or so).
If any of you have suggestions, thoughts, questions, or general comments, please share in the comments.
I love you all and am excited for all the upcoming stuff this month on here! I have a really good feeling about things. ❤️
Love you all tons and tons!
Annalee
Comments
OrangeBurrito
Really dug this post and can identify some similar struggles in myself. It's actually comforting to hear someone else really going through it. Especially when it's a buddy I love and respect. Thanks for sharing Annalee and I will take you up on that offer of when I'm finally back in LA after all of... this.
