Broker
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290 in Revision
🕑 Added 2025-04-19 05:48:20 +0000 UTCI've heard you guys and your feelings on 290. I am working on a new variation of the chapter. I will get it to y'all as soon as I can! If you have any constructive suggestions for a better direction for the events of the chapter, I would very much appreciate any input and opinions I can get. I love you guys and I want to craft the best story I can for you.
With love, DerelictPresence.
Comments
Daesolus
For people not on Discord, the magic kind of come from nowhere even if there was some hint to it before. The escape could be better too, I find it hard to believe that the Major could take Ishtar by surprise, remove a tooth, throw it at Marta, monologue and then teleport. In this scenario, she should start teleporting immediately, there is no time for monologue not when Ishtar can kills her in a fraction of a second. Btw I really liked the chapter even if I can see what bother some people.
Phil Alessi
I agree, the original version was good and I liked seeing another faction step up. The only criticism I would have had is that some of the Vigilantes preparations felt like a side story for some extra context would be nice (or I really missed some legwork they did in another chapter and if that is the case, oops).
Gemiae
I don't think there was any issue with the original version you posted. I actually enjoyed it a lot and that Mimir actually did something to put him on the big stage. He's not on Sonya's side and he's made that clear.
