Hanah Sobek
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[TB] TWILIGHT -- OUTLINE
🕑 Added 2024-05-03 16:00:02 +0000 UTCLike I had for Starlight, I figured it would be fun to post my notes and outlines for Twilight!
Now, Twilight was a story I struggled with, and while I think I got where I needed to go in the end, I do think the story suffered from my indecision in some places.
Unfortunately, it seems like a lot of my notes on the early stages of the story are gone. I only have myself to blame for that, I suppose, but it is what it is. A lot of those early notes were built off of the original ideas that I had scrapped, and changing over from Microsoft Office to Campfire partway through writing the story likely contributed to the loss.
As a warning, these notes are somewhat out of order. I tend to try and keep them in some sort of sequence, but things inevitably get mixed up. There are also a few different formatting choices, some looser and freeform, while others are a bit rigid - I like to keep a general idea of what concepts most chapters should be covering, but some require being more thorough than others.
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One of the new things I tried with this series was to use something like notepad.io to map out a very basic plot timeline that I could easily reference and edit. Not all of my original ideas are here - this is likely my second or third pass at the story.
Shadepool's punishment period
Border fights
Herb shortages
Shadepool and Sorreltail report that the old Twoleg nest has a lot of dormant herbs, they just need maintenance
Nightfrost/Shadepool arguments reconciliation?
Nightfrost points out that the both of them have been sort of living in their own bubble and that Shadepool in particular has missed a lot in her own Clan
Nightfrost agrees that Shadepool should love Crowflight, and that he would defend her to the end; but tells her that its dangerous, and all that he ever wanted was for her to be safe
Shadepool apologizes to Tinystar, Brackenfur, and Nightfrost, and promises not to act so recklessly. The thorns relinquish themselves, but not entirely, allowing Shadepool to feel her littermate, but leaving room for new relationships to grow
Clan life updates
Sun/Sorrel, Sorreltail and Shadepool bond
Sorreltail reveals her fear of water (from Darkstripe attempting to drown her)
Sorreltail worries about Sun's motivations for joining ThunderClan, and her overall happiness
Sorreltail talks about having siblings, and tells Shadepool that it's okay to live a life without them sometimes
Rainwhisker and Nightfrost's friendship
Misty/Night
etc
Shadepool's punishment ends at the half-moon
Shadepool's punishment has ended:
Another blizzard
Tinystar has decided against attacking WindClan, much to cats like Dustpelt, Sootfur, and Mousefur's chagrin
Shadepool is basically snowed in, and she is still puzzling over what Nightfrost had said
She does hang out some with Sorreltail, who mentions that her talk with Sun had gone well, which makes her feel better that at least someone's relationships were going well in the Clan
Moonpool meeting
Tinystar is hesitant to let them go
Sorreltail and Sun escort Shadepool and Brackenfur to the Moonpool
Shadepool and Brackenfur go to the Moonpool
Shadepool meets the White Cat
Not much happens there
Shadepool looks for Spottedleaf, but finds Yellowfang instead
Shadepool asks about the White Cat
Yellowfang explains that the White Cat appears to be something very ancient and tied inextricably with the Clans. She has seen it before, herself
Shadepool talks to Yellowfang about her troubles, trying to be vague about Crowflight but being up front about Nightfrost and her personality flaws
Yellowfang knows about Crowflight, but respects her wishes to keep things vague. She advises that Nightfrost is hurting, and that opening oneself to others is never easy, though Shadepool has already started to do so, and that she should continue to do so
Shadepool tries to ask about Mudstar and WindClan, but Yellowfang stops her, as that is not her business. ThunderClan needs her
Shadepool asks where Onewhisker is
Yellowfang explains that Onewhisker is not in StarClan - that his death occurred in a spot StarClan could not see, and when Tallstar went to retrieve him, there was nothing to find
Shadepool is utterly horrified by this
Shadepool tells Brackenfur
Brackenfur is horrified as well, but insists that they don't tell Tinystar yet - he is still hurting, and this may spiral him further
Shadepool isn't sure what to do, but Brackenfur tells her that there is nothing they can do, and that they need to focus on the Clan for now
Shadepool meets Crowflight
She apologizes for causing any trouble, and explains why she hadn't been around
Crowflight says that he missed her more than anything
Shadepool asks what's going on in WindClan
Crowflight admits that things are running well, actually, and that Mudstar is harsh, but he's not a bad leader
They spend the night together, and Shadepool remembers Yellowfang's words. She tells Crowflight about what happened to Onewhisker, and Crowflight is stunned, he can't comprehend the idea
He agrees to keep it secret, though, and that he would do his best to investigate further
Shadepool sees the white cat
If they mean her no harm, then what are they doing here at all?
She leaves, feeling confused and uncertain
The Gathering
Shadepool tries to meet Crowflight again before the Gathering, but doesn't
Shadepool heads to the Gathering
Ryewhisper is acting aloof and strange
RiverClan:
Nothing major
ShadowClan:
Willowpaw and Rushpaw, to Pinewhisker and Stoneheart
Shadepool sees Mistyfoot congratulating her brother
Minor announcement about driving away a fox
Shadepool wonders if that was ShadowClan's big problem from before
ThunderClan:
Larchpaw to Ashfur
Tinystar avoids the topic of the ambush but says that ThunderClan is watching their borders closely
WindClan:
Thorndusk's name
Robinwing's kits - Blizzardkit, Galekit, Sleetkit, and Ashkit
Barkface's death is announced
Shadepool tells Brackenfur that they need to know if he made it to StarClan
Brackenfur is uncertain about whether this is the right time for that and asks her to wait until they return home to discuss it further
Shadepool is impatient, spurred on by her own worries
Mothwing, curious, asks Shadepool what's going on
Shadepool tells her a vague story that hides the truth but gets her point across
Mothwing says that she'll cover for her and that Shadepool is a medicine cat herself now; she can make these sorts of decisions
Shadepool thanks Mothwing, and offers to repay her in the future
While the Clans clamor in shock, Shadepool flees the Gathering, heading for the Moonpool again
Moonpool
Shadepool runs to the Moonpool
She searches for Barkface and does not find him
She finds Spottedleaf, and demands to know if Barkface is here
Spottedleaf tells her that he is not
Shadepool demands answers, but Spottedleaf is very distracted
Spottedleaf says that the Omen is coming, and refuses to elaborate
Shadepool, furious, demands to know what StarClan is for, if they won't help her or the Clans when they need it
Spottedleaf says nothing
Shadepool leaves and hears the Omen being whispered by Spottedleaf
—
Yellowfang's muzzle rankled. “I am saying that I am no more powerful than you,” she growled. “We read the stars, and see what might be, and we tell you what we know - but that's no different than what you do down there. We don't have all the answers.”
Shadepool was speechless. Yellowfang's tail caressed her cheek. “We're just cats, too, Shadepool - we always have been.” Yellowfang's gaze wavered. “We watch over you from the stars until it's our time to become stardust - and from there... who knows? I certainly don't!”
“But-” Shadepool struggled for words. “But you were always...?”
Yellowfang purred, and touched her nose to Shadepool's head. “You give as much meaning and power to us as you need to go on, and that faith goes both ways. When you have faith in us, and we have faith in you, we give each other the strength to survive.”
This is a scrapped part of the conversation between Yellowfang and Shadepool in Chapter 19. I felt like, though this is technically the truth, and why Mothwing doesn't have strong beliefs anymore, it kind of derails things to have this come up now, and would drastically alter Shadepool's faith way too soon. I didn't want to delete it outright because I might need it somewhere later.
—
Brackenfur, Sorreltail, Sun, and Cloudtail find Shadepool at the Moonpool. Brackenfur heads off their questions but forces Shadepool to tell him what happened when they return to camp. Shadepool suggests that they tell Tinystar, and Brackenfur volunteers to be the one to do so while Shadepool tends to the Clan
ThunderClan camp
Shadepool returns
Brackenfur chastises her, and threatens to punish her again - but when Shadepool explains what she has seen, he doesn't
He seems genuinely at a loss, especially when Shadepool says that StarClan is just as clueless, and Spottedleaf seems to have lost her mind
Sun asks Shadepool to look in on Sorreltail while Brackenfur is resting. Shadepool discovers that Sorreltail is pregnant, and the whole Clan is excited for a litter of kits for newleaf.
Shadepool asks Nightfrost if he and Mistyfoot plan on having kits, but it seems like their relationship isn't there yet, and Nightfrost dodges the question. Tinystar is similarly pleased, though Shadepool knows that danger haunts the Clan.
Dustpelt starts a fight with a WindClan patrol over speculation that they might've taken Shadepool
The daily fighting starts. Emberstep is often heard of in the attacks, and Mistyfoot wonders if Crowflight is condoning this behavior. Shadepool is sure he isn't, considering his reaction to the earlier ambush, but she hasn't been able to leave the Clan to ask him about it. ThunderClan's meager supplies are dwindling and Shadepool and Brackenfur can't find any more.
She endeavors to meet Crowflight one night, but finds the dusk patrol being attacked by WindClan. Larchpaw is badly injured.
Maybe a scene about how they're out of poppy seeds?
A scene of Tinystar endeavoring to talk to WindClan? Larchpaw attempts to join the patrol but ends up sneaking after them. Maybe Shadepool goes and they are violently turned away, and that is when Larchpaw is injured by Emberstep, who thinks he is preparing an ambush, against Crowflight's wishes?
Shadepool takes care of the Clan
Newleaf comes
Sorreltail is expecting kits
WindClan attacks daily now
It seems the last Gathering has fired them up. Emberstep is a common cat seen in the attacks
Shadepool attempts to talk to Nightfrost privately but cannot seem to, between her duties and the frequent fighting
A big battle with WindClan leaves Larchpaw badly injured
Tinystar takes a patrol to meet with Crowflight at the border, this includes Shadepool and Nightfrost
Tinystar tries to talk peace but Crowflight says that Mudstar has decided his terms, and that these attacks were a warning: ThunderClan has half a moon to produce the cat or cats responsible for Onewhisker and Barkface's deaths, or WindClan will declare war
Nightfrost tries to talk him down but is rebuffed
Nightfrost is extremely hurt
Shadepool tries, but Crowflight cannot even consider her words without revealing their relationship, thus its unclear whether or not he is okay with this
Emberstep, meanwhile, is egging ThunderClan on
Larchpaw eventually snaps and flings himself at her, only to be struck in the eye
Crowflight pulls Emberstep back, and ThunderClan retreats; the warning is delivered
I flip-flopped a lot about whether or not Larchpaw would be sick or injured around this time, but as I was writing, I couldn't figure out a way to justify Larchpaw being at this particular meeting that satisfied me. The injury was meant to reflect Birchpaw's injury from the badger fight in the original story. I ended up settling for him being sick, as that was much easier to justify.
It might not have happened now, but that doesn't mean it won't ever happen!
The Clan is preparing for WindClan's war. Dustpelt's wound is infected, and Whitewing's is starting to look the same. Larchpaw comes down with a cold. There are no herbs to treat them, and Brackenfur worries that a greencough epidemic will wipe them out before WindClan does.
Shadepool dreams of the white cat dissolving into moths again, and concludes that it means something - Mothwing can help
Brackenfur gives her permission
Tinystar insists that Nightfrost go with Shadepool
He wants Nightfrost to talk to ShadowClan and potentially RiverClan, to see where they might stand on the issue of WindClan's declaration
The two go quietly, with Nightfrost still very hurt by the day before
They encounter Stoneheart
Nightfrost thinks he sees a friendly face, but Stoneheart tells them to leave ShadowClan territory immediately, even after Nightfrost explains what happened
Stoneheart insists that he's sorry, but ShadowClan can spare no help
Shadepool notices wounds on his patrol that are fresh, and that they all seem very wary
They are escorted out of ShadowClan territory by Stoneheart, who (lies) explains that a group of foxes has made their territory deep in ShadowClan land and they are handling the problem
When Nightfrost offers help, Stoneheart denies him
Nightfrost is distraught, and cries about how the Great Journey meant nothing, and that the unity between the Clans is dead
Nightfrost's fears come up as they head for RiverClan:
He and Crowflight had been named warriors by Tinystar and Tallstar in order to help foster a new age of cooperation and peace between the Clans, however
WindClan undergoes a civil war, accuses ThunderClan of murder, and closes its borders
ShadowClan appears to be withholding help, with Stoneheart ushering them out of their territory
RiverClan has been uncertain since deciding to leave the forest - there's a reason Feathertail left
Nightfrost feels like Crowflight has betrayed him, and, in turn, that Shadepool has betrayed him by constantly defending him. Basically, Nightfrost is upset to lose someone whom he thought of as a brother, and he can't trust his sister to make his feelings valid
Shadepool insists that Crowflight still cares
Nightfrost tells Shadepool that she's always told him how to feel about things - that's why he reinforced the need for space
Shadepool understands and apologizes
The thorns only somewhat budge, as Nightfrost still wants to have space, but he senses the genuineness of her apology and accepts it
Shadepool asks how things are going between he and Mistyfoot, and he says that they are just friends. Nightfrost loves her, but he doesn't want to press on her heart if it's still sore, and he's going to let her make the move if she wants it
Nightfrost admits that he's the jealous one - Crowflight and Shadepool might be breaking the rules, but they at least know how they feel about one another
The feud between Nightfrost and Shadepool might have been better done in the earliest version of Twilight, where the two of them split PoVs for this story, with Shadepool dealing with the Omen and her feelings for Crowflight, while, at the same time, Nightfrost would be handling the fighting with WindClan and his feelings for Mistyfoot.
Instead, I chose to explore how the two behave without their connection and how much they had come to rely on it and each other, and the conflict with WindClan can be just as personal to Shadepool as it is to Nightfrost - Sunset will explore Nightfrost and Mistyfoot's relationship from Mistyfoot's perspective.
Unfortunately, that means Nightfrost has no PoV in this arc, but I think I like it better that way. I didn't want to make ThunderClan feel dull by having three PoVs in it, two of which are mentally connected.
I digress, though - I think I fumbled the problems between the siblings a bit in execution. I wanted Shadepool to feel frantic and isolated, to have to reach out and make other friends in Sorreltail and Mothwing, to freak out a bit when it seems like Nightfrost is just fine without her and that she needed him more than he needed her, but it feels a little forced in my opinion. Next time I write a dynamic similar to this, I hope I can be satisfied with how I do it.
Mothwing agrees to help
Leopardstar seems as indifferent as ShadowClan about ThunderClan's plight, but she at least listens to Nightfrost's words herself
Mothwing offers herbs for Larchpaw and Dustpelt, and tells Shadepool to stay with her
Owing Mothwing for earlier, Shadepool agrees, and Nightfrost heads home alone with the herbs - Shadepool can feel him, though, and constantly checks that he gets home safely
The two head to Twolegplace and chat
Mothwing mentions Willowkit, and how she's been helping out in the den
When Shadepool suggests that Willowkit be her apprentice, Mothwing seems hesitant, uncertain that she can teach Willowkit properly
Shadepool assures her that she would help
They meet Root in the Twolegplace
Root introduces himself to Shadepool and explains that he and Mothwing have been working together to keep RiverClan safe
Shadepool is confused, and Mothwing explains that there is a darkness in RiverClan, and she can see it spreading its wings around the lake
They take her to spy on Falcontail and Emberstep that night
The two are clearly colluding - Shadepool is stunned to hear that Falcontail is subtly encouraging Emberstep to not only disobey Crowflight's orders, but potentially get him killed
Her panic is obvious, and the reason why Mothwing asked her to stay specifically, as Shadepool has a good chance to move around - also, Mothwing isn't blind and has seen the love in Shadepool's eyes when she sees Crowflight
Mothwing promises not to reveal Shadepool's secret and admits to having secrets of her own
Root tells her that he often overheard Falcontail talking to Blackclaw and Leafwhisker and other RiverClan cats about how to undermine Tawnypelt in similar ways
Shadepool resolves to warn Crowflight, as soon as possible
[CUT] Shadepool runs to WindClan
There was a version of things where Shadepool ran to WindClan directly!
I toyed with the idea of Shadepool actually being captured by WindClan and staying in their camp for a chapter or two, and having that be the catalyst that causes Tinystar to attack WindClan - but throughout the whole story, ThunderClan had endeavored never to be the aggressor, so Tinystar flipping like this felt very unfair, even if it would've been something he would've done to save his kit.
Plus, the WindClan camp is too open! ThunderClan's camp is much better suited to desperate battles.
Shadepool runs home
The moment she can, after coming home and telling Nightfrost about it, she sneaks off to meet Crowflight
He isn't waiting for her, but Duskwhisker is, and Duskwhisker tells her that Crowflight's been busy
Shadepool insists that she needs to talk to him, that she might have the answer to so many questions
Duskwhisker goes to fetch him
Crowflight comes, alone
Shadepool tells him everything, and Crowflight figures out who the cat Falcontail spoke to was: Emberstep
Crowflight is kind of shocked at Emberstep's involvement, but he believes Shadepool, and explains that Falcontail was the cat to push Mudstar into the coup in the first place, and that Emberstep must have been working with Falcontail for a long time (she had likely warned him of the impending power struggle when she went with Ryewhisper to tell RiverClan about the Moonpool)
Crowflight theorizes that Emberstep might not have killed Onewhisker and Barkface, but she might have led their attackers there (Mudstar was guarded and too injured to go anywhere)
Crowflight decides he will intervene
Emberstep appears and attacks Shadepool, who flees across the flooded stepping-stones
Emberstep slips and cracks her skull, dying instantly
They find her body at the lakeshore, and Brackenfur and Nightfrost find them both there
Brackenfur's involvement
Brackenfur and Crowflight realize that Emberstep's death means war now, no matter what, as this time it really looks like a ThunderClan cat did it. WindClan will definitely make good on their promise to drive them out.
Nightfrost and Crowflight make up
They part and return to the Clan
Brackenfur lies for Shadepool and does it because he has to, because he cares about her and wants her to live to be the hope for the Clans
Tinystar and Mistyfoot mobilize ThunderClan, and Nightfrost runs off to fetch help from ShadowClan or RiverClan
WindClan attacks
The Battle
Shadepool, Brackenfur, and Sootfur evacuate Sorreltail and the still-recovering cats, Larchpaw, Dustpelt, and Whitewing, using the secret exit
Sootfur and Shadepool are pulled down. Sootfur is killed, but Crowflight keeps Shade from dying
He tells his warriors that they aren't medicine cat killers
Shadepool is in the clearing now and has to help injured cats make it up to Brackenfur
She spots her father and Mistyfoot fighting side by side
Tinystar loses a life
Nightfrost returns, with Stoneheart and ShadowClan, and Leopardstar and RiverClan
WindClan is run out of ThunderClan's camp, and Mudstar is warned that a Clan will not choose to drive out another on their own
Alteration time!
So, originally I had planned for Brackenfur to die in this book, like his counterpart had in canon.
There were a couple ways I had thought of to do this: Brackenfur dies from a sickness, which he had hidden from Shadepool the entire story, or Brackenfur saves Shadepool's life during the battle and dies as a result (Sootfur succumbing to his wounds later on).
The sickness route was from a version of the story where ThunderClan was suffering from a breakout of greencough throughout the book, which they didn't have the herbs for. Brackenfur would've been fighting the illness off on his own for the most part, as Shadepool would be distracted by things like Crowflight and the Omen. He would catch the sickness, Shadepool would be too distracted to notice, and die, either before or after the battle.
I figured out early on that it would've been a bit difficult to justify ThunderClan enduring both attacks from WindClan and sickness like this. It would've made things too complicated and would feel a bit drawn out and miserable, and it would be hard to justify only Brackenfur dying from it.
The battle route has a bit to do with the Mosspaw prophecy, something not mentioned in these notes but it does come up in the original prologue, so the idea did live for longer than most others.
It's a bit of a retcon - the idea that back in Darkest Hour, Mosspaw receives a prophecy that Brackenfur misinterprets (a theme for him) that foretells one of someone's death. Brackenfur thinks its his death, while Mosspaw thinks its hers, and is adamant about it. During the battle with BloodClan, Mosspaw sees Bone about to attack the medicine cats and sacrifices herself, fulfilling her version of the prophecy but leaving Brackenfur under the impression that she had taken his place.
Now, Brackenfur has intense survivor's guilt and is under the impression that he's living on borrowed time. He sacrifices himself to save Shadepool, hoping to finally fulfill the prophecy and apologizing to Mosspaw for not believing her.
Obviously, this is a BIG alteration! It says a lot about Brackenfur's character and his relationship with Shadepool and even StarClan, and, in hindsight, maybe I should have left it in - ultimately, though, I decided to let Brackenfur live and set the idea aside.
For now.
Aftermath
ThunderClan gathers themselves after the battle. RiverClan and ShadowClan leave
Both Russetstar and Leopardstar warn Tinystar that they backed him today, but it gets harder to justify supporting ThunderClan when their power structures are imbalanced and ThunderClan and WindClan keep antagonizing one another. Tinystar needs a deputy - he is not an exception to the warrior code
They leave
Sorreltail and Rainwhisker are distraught at Sootfur's death, Sorreltail especially
A vigil for Sootfur
Cloudtail talks about her mentoring him
Sorreltail and Rainwhisker talk about what a good brother he was
Tinystar remarks that he was as brave as his fathers, and Willowpelt, too, and knows he is in good company in StarClan
Shadepool certainly hopes so
There is a desire for revenge in ThunderClan. Tinystar, however, though he agrees, soothes them. WindClan can no longer be considered an ally, and ThunderClan must recover - Tinystar regrets ever giving WindClan the benefit of his compassion because it cost him Sootfur, and he apologizes to Tallstar for failing to uphold his friend's last wish
Tempers towards WindClan have settled on bitterness and hatred. A cold war
Brackenfur approaches him and reminds Tinystar of the fog-vision he and Shadepool had seen seasons ago. He admits then and there that both he and Shadepool were right - the fog had been a sign of coming destruction, but not the destruction of ThunderClan - it had been telling of the darkness they find themselves in now, and the cats that would lead them from it
Shadepool is shocked by her mentor, and agrees
Tinystar decides that since WindClan can do it, he can too - he appoints Mistyfoot deputy of ThunderClan, right then and there
He will not concede that Sandstorm is dead, but he does agree that she is not here. He apologizes to ThunderClan for his neglect, and appoints Mistyfoot deputy of ThunderClan
I waffled about whether or not Mistyfoot should be appointed in this book or the next, but in the end I thought it would be more interesting if Mistyfoot is deputy from the start, rather than having it thrust on her at some point in Sunset - that way, Sunset can focus on her coping with her new responsbilities, and whether or not it was something she actually wanted.
Shadepool goes off to meet Crowflight
The Clan has spent the last three days recovering from the battle. Sootfur is buried, Mistyfoot is deputy, and all seems well, though Tinystar's mood seems slightly different
Shadepool talks to Brackenfur, who thanks her for taking care of him and the Clan while he was hurt. He wishes he could make her reconsider seeing Crowflight, but decides that, ultimately, StarClan would judge her for her actions
Shadepool meets Nightfrost in the woods, and sees the stars in his eyes
He tells her to be careful when meeting with Crowflight
Their relationship is mended
Shadepool walks to meet Crowflight, and the white cat follows her
Shadepool doesn't question the cat, considering it a companion of sorts now
She asks it if it's part of the Omen, but it does not answer
She asks if it is here because she loves Crowflight
The white cat blinks at her, and disappears into moths again
She meets Crowflight at twilight
The two talk about their future, if they even can have a future
Crowflight mentions that Mudstar chose him as deputy because he needed a cat who would keep him in the light, and out of the dark
Shadepool sees the white cat again, and it echoes the prophecy once more, with an addition: “There will be Four, kin of your kin. There will be Four of Thunder and Water and Wind and Shadow, who hold the power of the Stars in their paws. There will be Four, and they will shatter the world.”
It echoes in her head, and when she looks into the water, she sees stars dancing in her and Crowflight's eyes - the same ones she had seen in Nightfrost's
She feels a strange certainty that whatever is going to happen, she and Crowflight would be together through it all
Obviously, this ending is a little different than what happened, but not by much. In the original Twilight, Crowfeather and Leafpool break up - but I wanted Shadepool and Crowflight to struggle on, and fight for their relationship's right to exist.
Change is coming to the Clans, and they are at the forefront.
