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The Cumbrian Confusion - Part 3
🕑 Added 2023-08-10 00:49:33 +0000 UTCSitting quietly in the rear yard of Lily’s great aunt’s cottage, Ridley found himself studying the old metallic lawn table in front of him. It was easier than meeting Lily’s gaze.
After he’d said what had happened she’d decided they needed to go somewhere more private and dragged him a good chunk of the way across town to where she was staying. Which, a girl doing that while on a date before would have seemed like progress to him. Present circumstances left him rather less certain, however.
“So, I heard you correctly, right?” Lily asked, causing him to look up. “You just woke up… genderbent?”
“Y—yeah?” he offered, knowing it sounded crazy.
“How?” she asked, sounding about as flabbergasted as was probably appropriate.
“If I knew I’d have spent more effort trying to fix it,” he replied. “It might have been the medical trial I signed up for. It might have been the mysterious expired sauce I cooked with. Could have been because I threw up in a fairy circle… Or… maybe it was from ticking off that old Roma lady when I accidentally knocked a couple of her potted plants over a couple days before it happened.”
Lily stared at him.
“Uh… there was also that Wiccan lady from a couple weeks ago. I tripped and bumped into her and she dropped the cake she was carrying… either of those women might have cursed me.”
Lily continued to stare at him.
“Or it could have been an alien abduction, I suppose. Don’t aliens erase people’s memories? So, there’s really no way to know that they weren’t involved? Probably?”
“You… you really have no idea what caused it?”
“No?” he offered weakly.
Silence lingered. Lily was visibly attempting to process the idea that the supernatural existed. It would probably take a bit, since he still wasn’t sure how much he believed it and he was the one who suddenly woke up with boobs one day.
Her eyes traced his face, no doubt hunting for signs he was lying. That this was all some sort of bizarre prank. Even if she had no good reason to distrust him, it was also an absurd thing to claim. Especially without any evidence on hand.
Finally, she let out a sigh. “Alright… accepting the concept for now… I suppose only the medical trial is really replicable, but could still be worth looking into for the sake of trans women everywhere. Looking into some of the others seems like it, at best, risks looking foolish. At worst, they’d risk more curses.”
“Huh… I guess it would be good to look into it,” he replied, having not even remembered trans women were a thing the whole time he’d been transformed.
They’d probably be thrilled if the cough syrup came with a chance of sex swapping. Though, he was now back to not being sure if reporting what happened would seem him turned into a guinea pig or not.
“Are you enjoying it?” she asked.
He looked up, staring at her with confusion. “Enjoying what?”
“Being a woman.”
“Oh,” he said, having realised he hadn’t really thought about it.
It was all so new and disorienting. It had kept him too busy learning and reacting to really sit down and think about how he felt. Plus, there had been the fear to think about it, since, well…
“It’s probably not reversible, so I just have to learn to accept it, don’t I?” he asked.
“Uh, well, aspects of it might not be reversible, unless we figure out how it happened. But there’s plenty that you would deal with, if you were to get on hormones,” Lily explained.
“How would—wouldn’t that turn me into more of a woman?” he said, staring at her in confusion.
“You… you know trans men exist too, right?”
“They do?”
She shook her head a little, looking off into the distance. “Why does society obsess over trans women and forget about trans men?”
“How long do you think it would take until I could use my old ID again?” he asked, since that remained the most pressing issue for him.
He couldn’t get a job if he couldn’t prove who he was. Even if he wasn’t sure he wanted his old life back, he kind of prefered it to ending up homeless because no one would hire him.
“Um, well, that would probably take a while… what did you look like before?” she asked, leaning forward, clearly expecting to be shown some photo ID.
“Uhhh… I left my ID back in my apartment, since I didn’t want people to think I had a stolen wallet,” he said, feeling a little self conscious.
Before Lily could reply, the patio door to the house opened, Lily’s great aunt coming out with a cane to lean on.
“Is this Miss Gardiner, then?” the old woman asked.
“Uh…” Lily began, before glancing at Ridley, a questioning look in her eyes. “It is Ridley, yes?”
“Hello,” he added, not quite getting what the question was that Lily was trying to ask.
“She does look like a nice young woman, it’s good to meet you, dear,” Lily’s great aunt said, limping slightly as she came over to sit down at the table herself.
Lily ended up grimacing and gave Ridley another one of those clearly meaningful looks with unclear meanings.
“Now, not to be overly nosy,” the old woman said, “but I couldn’t help but notice you two seemed nervous about something and I was wondering if I might be able to help.”
“Do… do you know much about magic?” Ridley asked.
“Magic? No, not really,” she said. “I just know a few of the old stories in the area about the fair folk. Not sure I believe most of them, though.”
Realising it could possibly be a lead, Ridley decided to try a bit of a long shot. “Any involving changing genders?”
“Hmm… sadly, I don’t think so,” she replied.
“About what I expected… I doubt I trust the idea of magic enough to give it another try anyway,” he muttered, leaning back in his chair. “I should probably just ask one of my college friends for fake ID, though I hate to think what they’d want from me in return.”
“Fake ID? Why ever do you need that, dear?”
“Also, that’s… kind of illegal,” Lily added, making a face at the concept. Apparently she was rather naive.
“I can’t use my old stuff after ending up like… this. Way too round and babyfaced now,” Ridley said, crossing his arms. “And I need a job. I can only handle a couple of months without one…”
“Well, I might not know magic, but I think I can help you with that,” Lily’s great aunt said, a mischievous sparkle in her eyes. “If you explain what’s going on a little more.”
“Aunt Hyacinth!?” Lily blurted.
“What? An old lady can’t have had a bit of fun in her youth?” she asked.
-
Somehow, another week had passed and Ridley had ended up moving in with them. That had been prompted by Ridley getting a text from he-hi—their landlord, asking about where they were and who the girl who kept visiting once. Worried they might have some trouble on that front, Aunt Hyacinth had proposed that Ridley move to her place. Moving in had resulted in Lily getting to see a few photos of Ridley from before the change, as well. She had to admit that she recognised them more easily than she’d expected. Ridley had been a bit of a pretty boy before, and was now reasonably androgynous.
Aunt Hyacinth’s house had the space to spare, the empty room where her daughter had lived was able to serve as a second guest bedroom. It helped that Ridley hadn’t brought much furniture or other possessions with them. They’d apparently never owned much stuff. And they turned out to be a bit younger than Lily, which contributed to the lack of possessions.
Once the actual move had been completed, Ridley had settled in fairly well. Aunt Hyacinth’s friends (whom Lily felt nervous around, having never done much illegal in her life) had brought the new ID for Ridley the day before and now Ridley was out job hunting.
What they still hadn’t made any progress on, though, was what Ridley actually felt about gender matters. Just a steady supply of ‘I dunno’s whenever Lily tried to ask.
She’d finally decided to give up, and just let things roll for a while. She did have work she could be doing on her own book. Her publishers expected a sequel, after all.
So, she let herself focus on that. It devoured most of her day, until Ridley returned, looking exhausted by the canvassing efforts. Lily made everyone dinner, and they managed a lively conversation with help from Hyacinth. Then Ridley helped her clean up, continuing the momentum of the conversation, even if it was just the two of them.
A sort of domesticity settled in over the next few days. Ridley switched to online job hunting, which meant spending more time together. Most of that was spent just vaguely hanging out in the same rooms, when they weren’t helping Hyacinth with chores, but it was enough for Lily to realise she liked being around Ridley.
By the end of another week, Ridley managed to get an interview, which led to having to drag them out to go clothes shopping. It was obvious that Ridley’s old clothes would not do, and they’d not really bought anything new.
“Now, the question is: fem or androgynous?” Lily asked as they walked to the store, ready to try them to pull together a nice professional look.
“Oh, um… well, I don’t want them to think I’m weird, do I?” Ridley said, their tone nervous. “So, feminine, right?”
“Dress pants aren’t that weird for a woman. Or, well, at least they aren’t in Canada. I’m figuring the UK isn’t too different?” Lily replied. “It’s better that you wear something that will make you comfortable either way.”
“Ah… I… I suppose pants? I’ve not really tried skirts,” Ridley said in a nervous voice as they walked.
“Pants it is, then,” Lily replied with a soft smile. “Especially if you’re still working out your gender… are you?”
“Hm?” they replied.
“Have you worked out what you’re feeling on that whole front?” she asked.
“Oh. Um… still… still not sure,” Ridley replied in a quiet voice.
Lily nodded. “Fair enough. It’s only been a few weeks. It takes lots of trans folks decades to figure their genders out.”
The fact their bodily change was so sudden and unnatural surely made it all so much more confusing.
And possibly made Lily feel invested in ensuring the strange act of the universe would have been done to someone happy with the results. It felt too wasteful for something so wonderful and magical to happen as a curse in place of a blessing.
So, she may have been trying to nudge Ridley towards femininity a little more than a truly neutral observer would have.
She felt a little guilty about that, but she was only human.
-
Being called ‘miss’ so many times in a row in the interview had been an… experience for Ridley. Like many other things about being a woman now, he wasn’t used to it. And, well, maybe he disliked it.
Maybe he didn’t, though. Maybe it was just new.
He hoped it was just new.
Because he liked the rest of his new life. Living with Lily and her great aunt… it was peaceful. It felt like home more than he’d had in the rest of his adult life. More than his parents’ place had felt, when he’d started stumbling into trouble from poor decisions in secondary school.
And, well, they were both women. The comfort and acceptance surely came from him being able to be one of the women. Tossing a man in there instead would have no doubt ruined everything. So he had to learn.
He was pretty sure all of his uncertainty had shone through in the interview, though. It felt like he’d blown it. Still, he kept the most polite tone he could manage as they finished and he thanked them for giving him the interview.
Then he headed back to his new home. All while wondering how long it was going to take for him to get used to his new reality. He’d expected it to get easier, as the new body set in and everything.
Like, yes. He knew trans people existed, and totally respected Lily.
But, still, he couldn’t shake the feeling that the body would have an effect over time. It just made sense, didn’t it? Most people weren’t trans, so wouldn’t he probably get comfortable in time?
He really hoped he would.
Because he didn’t like having to lie to Lily. To try to pretend he honestly thought he was liking femininity to try not to ruin what they had. The comfort, familiarity, and domesticity of it all. He was pretty sure he was more than willing to give up his masculinity for that happiness. It was just a question of how long he had to tell himself the lie before he started believing it.
How entrenched could his gender really be? Wasn’t it rather abstract?
And, well, Lily was beautiful. charming, and… had asked him out when she thought he was a woman. He had to learn to be one if he wanted to have hope they could be together.
He was almost home, and back in the need to move delicately around the awkward questions, when his phone buzzed.
Pulling it out, he discovered it was a text from the pharmaceutical company. They were trying to find out why he’d dropped off from the clinical trial’s reporting schedule. He was over a week late for the final check in and they wanted to know if anything serious had happened.
Ridley felt a slight temptation to give a dramatic lie to get them off of his back, but… well… what if the gender change was actually from the cough syrup? If that were true, sure it could be a life saver for trans women around the world?
And so he sent a text back.
[Something significant happened that may have been a side effect. Where should I get a check in?]
