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Chapter 74 - Moving

🕑 Added 2025-09-27 13:41:34 +0000 UTC

Comments

Benjamin Thomas

He leaves them in Auggy's Storage Closet, actually. Not explicitly stated anywhere, so maybe it's worth a nod somewhere.

Gardor

Think ya should mention Auggie or Talia grabbing stuff/holding a bag from Alex's workroom, specifically the alien cube and the magic armor turned into scales.

Benjamin Thomas

That's fair. It is meant to be a touch goofy, but it's really Annie's POV/exaggeration that is the issue from the sounds of it. The place isn't on fire. The aliens are really just packing what they think is important. The alien at the bookshelf isn't trying to pack everything (but to Annie's POV...), it's packing the books a few of them have been reading. Even the one packing the silverware is only doing it because it thinks it's important to Augustus. I think maybe I could remove that paragraph, but it was meant to add a bit of brevity. I'll consider editing it before RR. I just wanted to add that you don't need to worry about appearing negative :) I appreciate the feedback, and it's definitely reasonable. They may have moments of cultural oddity, but I will endeavor to handle their interactions with care.

ALEXEI

So a critique I have here is you previously showed the aliens as intelligent and they felt like real people which I enjoyed. In this chapter however they turned into caricatures of themselves and while amusing I kind of didn't like it as it sets a president for them just becoming goofy comic relief. One Annie is enough for me. Why would they save silverware in a fire? and trying to pack a shelf of books into something to small? that's child levels of intelligence. I don't want to come across overly negative I'm loving the story and I realize it was meant to be goofy but for me it went to far Into them being actually stupid for me, it worries me for their eventual growth as people.


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