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DKP 5-32 A vision or a dream?
🕑 Added 2020-09-13 23:40:11 +0000 UTC
Gersius sat in meditation with Lilly in his lap. Thayle was well on her way Mordholm and her absence left them both unsettled. It felt strange to have her so far away, her presence in the bind reduced to a distant pulling. She had to go though, her place in the order of Ulustrah demanded it. With Yarvine contesting who was ultimately in charge, Thayle needed to show Leadership. His only worry now was what Yarvine might attempt in her absence. He would speak to Mingfe later and ask to be appraised of Yarvine's efforts. If needed, he would intervene again, but with far less fire. He didn't want Thayle returning to a revolt among her forces.
He turned his attention back to the woman in his lap. Her back was perfectly straight, breathing shallow, and a gentle smile on those lovely lips. He smelled the scent of her silver-blue hair just an inch from his nose and sighed. Lilly was lost in prayer, enjoying the flow of power from Balisha as he worried about making the connection. There were a lot of questions that needed answers, and few were forthcoming. Those that did get answers showed him things he didn't care to see. It added to his worries day by day, an overwhelming sense of dread as Calathen drew nearer.
Sarah was on his mind, as well. The ancient red dragon who wanted to join their love. Gersius was uncertain such an addition was wise. Sarah was certainly beautiful, graceful, wise, and accomplished, but there were concerns. They were marching to what was likely going to be the defining moment of the war. The battle of Calathen was going to stretch his ability to lead and fight to its limit. There was a very real chance that some of them might fall. Was now a good time to take another wife? Was it fair to Sarah to join her to their love only to suffer loves ultimate pain? What made it all the more difficult, when he prayed about Sarah, he saw a vision of his death. There was a warning that a choice had to be made, nature or the heart, but what choice was right, and who had to make it?
Talking about it upset Lilly, so he avoided the conversation when she was around. Thayle was more open to discussion but kept insisting it could be her instead. He couldn't bear that thought, that Thayle would die and leave their love. More, he had grown to love her every bit as much as he did Lilly. She was integral to his heart, and even now, he missed her.
With a deep breath, he cleared his mind and went back to another thought and older thought. It was another vision that was more like a dream. In it, he saw great lights producing smaller ones and joining them to his. Two lights that he knew to be his wives were added to his, but then a third great light intruded and announced that it had paid the price. It produced a light of its own and added it to him as well. If he was right about the first two lights being Thayle and Lilly, who was the third light? Could it be Sarah? There had even been another vision where he saw a red dragon appear. Lilly was there to kiss it's nose as it declared it should have been first. How often had Sarah said she was promised the role of being first? What did it mean? Was she supposed to be the first wife? The first dragon? The first one called?
Lilly shifted in his lap, making a slight hum as she settled back and resumed her meditation. He always cleared his mind when she was nearby, fearful that she would see his worries. Lilly was love and innocence, and he was determined not to burden her with his troubling thoughts. Only when she meditated and had her focus so firmly on the task of communing was it safe to dwell on such darkness.
His newest burdens were Yarvine and Thayle. With her arrival came an odd balance of power. Yarvine was by all measures Thayle's superior, but Thayle was chosen for this role by Ulustrah herself. Then Balisha chose her to be a dragon knight. That the primes granted her the title of Governess commander General was almost a formality of agreement.
Yarvine didn't see it that way and was struggling for control. The strain was having its effect, and Thayle sought answers from her goddess. She was gifted with visions of Calathen, and a woman with a bowl of Ulustrah full of blood. Another warning he didn't understand and left them in doubt. Somebody with blood on her hands was betraying the goddess, and another came to murder her. Unfortunately, both women's faces were obscured, and nothing about them betrayed who they were. Gersius had his suspicions, but he kept them to himself.
It all had something to do with Calathen, just like the other visions. The closer they got to the city, the more his fear and anxiety ate away at him. To keep his mind clear, he hid behind duty and the war's demands, but what had doing so cost him in the past? He knew there was a problem in the order even before the Doan attacked. True, he voiced his opinions and challenged some decisions, but when orders came to march to some distant conflict, he hurriedly went. He was eager to be away from the problem, and thus not feel responsible to do something about it. Was he doing the same thing now? Was Sarah an issue that needed to be faced, not ignored, or put off? Was she part of the warning, nature over the heart? Did the warning have anything to do with her at all?
He felt Lilly and looked into her mind to see a glowing cord of light. She wasn't doing anything but humming Balisha's song in her thoughts, drifting in the connection of power. She made him envious sometimes, especially how easily she was able to open her arms for Sarah. Lilly needed no coaxing or convincing; she loved Sarah and wanted her as a wife. There was nothing else to consider from her point of view, and his stalling made her annoyed.
What did he want, though? In many ways, it was silly to ask that question. Sarah was beautiful to behold and strong of both character and mind. She was an excellent dancer and amazingly skilled with the sword. She carried herself with a regal presence that commanded respect. She was a leader of hearts and minds and knew how to address everyone from the lowest commoner to the highest of kings. What man wouldn't want a woman like her? Gersius wondered if maybe he was intimidated by her many strengths. Perhaps he was hiding behind war and duty to avoid facing the fact that Sarah was more than a match for him. Lilly said it a dozen times, how Sarah was better for him than she was. He hated hearing that, but she insisted it was true. Thayle agreed in her own way, stating that Sarah had a particular pride and strength in herself that made her a figure of power. That power matched him far more equally than she or Lilly did.
He supposed in some ways, Sarah was better suited, but that did nothing to diminish his love or respect for his wives. They filled his life with love and happiness, making the burden of war lighter. However, with Sarah, there was a risk of conflict. She was strongly opinionated, even arguing with him openly at times. It was these moments that gave him the most doubt. He knew he could love her if he didn't already, but feared such a strong tie as the bind might complicate things. With Sarah joined to their hearts, how might they be affected? His thoughts immediately went back to the very public argument where she wanted to kill prisoners as traitors and raged at him for denying her. How would that moment have played out if she was in the bind?
He cleared his head again as an understanding came to mind. Sarah was still very much a priestess of Astikar and thus carried the pain more deeply. She was shocked and horrified to discover the state of affairs, her order's betrayal, and the insult that was the raven guard. Every atrocity they committed, she took as a personal insult, and it drove her anger. Even he felt the sting of those vile acts, knowing in his heart what the order once meant to him. How could she respond any other way? More so, she was changing, making an effort to get to know him. She asked for his help, specifically in restoring the sword, giving him her gift of fire. She spoke openly about her pain while they were alone and shared feelings he never knew she had. Then, she danced a significant part of the night away with him at the party, smiling with a beautiful charm. He was so lost in that moment he hadn't noticed her light, but his wives did. They assure him it was flowing, the first signs of love blooming. Then the sword duel happened, and it wasn't in question anymore. Sarah was feeling a powerful emotion for him, and in recent days it grew to include his wives.
That day of the sword duel, he felt something, a measure of admiration and desire but quickly put it away. He intentionally blocked any thought of it from his mind when his wives were hoping he was thinking it. He shook his head and wanted to laugh if only Thayle had told him they wanted her sooner.
He thought of praying to Balisha about it but feared he would see the vision of his death again. Instead, he closed his eyes and began to chant, calling to the god he abandoned. If Sarah was his champion, perhaps Astikar had a better answer. He wasn't surprised at all when Astikar replied, accepting the link but quickly throwing him into a vision.
He was standing on a beach studded with gigantic stones during a gentle storm. The waves rolled in as the rain fell, thunder echoing in the distance across the ocean. The sky was shadowed in clouds bathing the landscape in a bluish tint. It felt peaceful and calm as if far removed from the conflict all around him.
He watched the waves roll in, enjoying the soothing kiss of the rain as he waited. It was only then he heard a gentle cry, followed by sniffling, nearly drowned out by the rolling water. Walking around a large rock to his right, he made a startling discovery. Sarah, in her human form, sitting on the sand, looking out over the water. Her hair was soaked to her naked body as tears ran down her cheeks. He watched as she sat alone, crying to herself.
“Why doesn’t he love me? You promised I would be first. Why did you take all that time from me only to reject me? What have I done wrong?”
Her back was too him, leaving her unaware of his presence. Never before had a vision ever unfolded like this. He was always an observer of events, but here he could act. A deep, emotional pain filled his heart to see her so upset. With an uncertain hand, he reached out to her, desperate to stop her tears.
“Sarah?” he called as she looked back, her eyes wide.
“Gersius?” she stammered, and stood up in shock, backing away down the beach. “How did you get here?”
He was genuinely taken aback by her reaction. The vision was responding as if he could influence the outcome.
“I wanted to know if you were meant to be mine,” he said, taking a step closer.
Sarah shook her head. “I was always meant to be yours, but something went wrong, and I was lost. Somehow the path has been broken.”
“Who meant you to be mine?” Gersius asked as she took another step away from him.
“Astikar,” she replied. “I was his reward, meant for you, but you lost me.”
He froze in place as he remembered the reward that wasn't given, the price he paid for losing his faith. With closed eyes, he nodded as it all made sense. Sarah was meant to know love, his love, but she was also meant to be first. She was the gift Astikar could not give him, taken away when he fell.
“Sarah, I am,” he began as he opened his eyes, but the beach was empty. As he looked to the sand where she once stood, her footsteps were erased by the waves, the last memory of her presence gone. He couldn't help but see the significance of that moment and wonder if that was his answer.
Sarah jumped awake and shook her head as fear and doubt clouded her mind. She had deposited Thayle a good mile outside the city at her request. Now she waited, hidden in the hills for Thayle's return. All the way here, Thayle consoled her with encouragement and promises. She assured Sarah that her time alone was coming to an end, and soon, she would bear the mantle of wife. Such words were a song to her heart, but the doubt ever lingered. It left her with a storm of thoughts, feelings, and confusion. Despite her desire not to sleep another minute of her life away, she dared to enter to dream. She needed a private place to face her innermost fears and talk through her pain.
Long ago, she agreed to be imprisoned in that temple to keep her sanity and be ready.
Astikar promised she would be called to aid a man in restoring the balance, and together they would find glory. All the other divines would contribute champions, but she would be first to his side, equal in everything. That man came, went, and died a thousand years ago, leaving her trapped with doubts that the temple was her eternal prison.
She paid so many prices in that lonely place, even shedding the blood of her blood. The doubts almost became madness, and sleeping was the only way to escape it. She spent hundreds of years at a time in the dream, walking through empty places like a phantom.
Finally, when the pain threatened to overwhelm, Astikar answered and told her a new man was chosen. He would be coming for her, and the promise would be fulfilled. Sarah was overjoyed and longed for the day when she could finally leave that prison.
The man came, and with him came his dragon, first to his side, the champion of Balisha, not Astikar. As if that wasn't insulting enough, he didn't even wake her. He met Numidel and was sent on his way, to forge a relationship with his dragon and another woman.
She was called out of her slumber, but only once the path for him and his wives was set. She wasn't first, or second, or even third. By the time she got there, he had two dragons, though Shadros was a prisoner.
The only saving grace was the nature of their relationship. Sarah learned that this dragon named Lilly was his wife, bound by the soul to his heart. She shared the foolish affection humans called love and glowed with happiness. At first, Sarah felt glad she hadn't been chosen for this role. She resigned herself with earning glory in battle and standing as Astikar's champion, but things changed.
When did it begin? Even she wasn't sure, but slowly she began to covet the happiness that showed in the light of Lilly's eyes. She tried to justify why a dragon with no hoard to lay on was so happy with life. Why she played, and danced, and raced about with her hand firmly around Thayle's.
Sarah attempted to establish herself as the dominant dragon as was her right, but he intervened. Gersius was not happy that his Lilly was being put in her place. He was polite, but firm, telling her it would not be allowed. Sarah was angered but also puzzled. A man confronted her and challenged the order of scale over the one he called his wife. It wouldn't be the first thing that made her take notice. Time and again, he would make sound decisions that other men would be faint to consider. Choosing always the ones that carried them forward to a destination drowned in blood and war. She admired him for that and took a more careful note of his actions.
In doing so, she saw how much he cared for his dragon. Lilly was of great value to him, not as a champion of the divines, or weapon of war, or symbol of his power, but as a blessing to his heart. She was a light to him in dark places, giving him hope and washing away the pain. Sarah had seen him leaning over maps in tense meetings, his face locked in a scowl as subcommanders complained. Then Lilly would arrive, and that face would soften. His lips would curl in a slight smile and visibly relax. There was a magic between them, some unseen connection that made them more than just comrades in arms. Sarah began to lust after the secret of that connection. Surely she was worthy of such a gift?
Many things happened after that, not the least of which was the final display of how he truly felt. Like all young dragons who followed the path of human love, Lilly triggered her calling prematurely. Not understanding the change within, she began to feel the first inklings of the crave. Of course, this was sated by her frequent couplings with him, but in time even this would not be enough. She would never know peace until she mated a dragon, and in trying to satisfy that hunger, would be driven to acts that made Sarah sick to her stomach. Thus she was staying awake while they slept, always nearby, waiting for the dreams to begin.
When they did, she acted immediately, taking Lilly's lovers into the dream to confront the phantoms that represented her maddening desires. It was here that it all changed, and she had to accept the truth. Gersius rent the dream, tearing Lilly away and taking her to a place of strong memory. Sarah didn't understand the significance until he made Lilly relive the moment when they admitted they loved one another. This moment broke through Lilly's raging desires and restored her mind, banishing the calling until its proper time.
Sarah had no words for how she felt but had to admit he earned the right to call Lilly his wife. For days afterward, she tried to understand what had happened, but the secret eluded her. It had to do with the very nature of Lilly's role in his life as his lover. With no other path to understanding, she began to wonder if she too should take a lover. Find a man who could share her name and power and care for her as he did his dragon. She even went so far as to ask Lilly and Thayle for help, and they tried. Their efforts only made it harder, as seeing them together was as mystifying. Thayle was every bit a part of this magic, playing a role in how it worked. She supported and guided them in love with great skill. Lilly treated Thayle like a part of her own solus, seeking to be connected to her in some way. If Lilly wasn't holding Thayle's hand, she was sitting right beside her, sometimes so close they leaned into one another. Sarah had seen them kiss and smile at one another as hands brushed hair from faces. These displays made Sarah wonder if perhaps she should take a woman too? She admitted as much to Lilly and Thayle, and they seemed delighted with it.
As if all this turmoil couldn't get any worse, they decided to hold a party. There was food, music, and most of all, dancing. Thayle practically dragged her from her tent when her own feet refused to carry her out. She danced with a dozen men who only annoyed her and caused her to wish to give up. Thayle then arranged a dance with him, and something happened.
Sarah looked around the countryside, where she sat in the dark. When she finally left that cursed temple, she never dreamed she would be spending her time thinking about why she wasn't loved. That dance caused something new to stir, an understanding of what type of man she wanted. She looked into the eyes of the only man who could hold her gaze, and he smiled back. Confident, powerful, willing to challenge, and even rebuke her, he was a rare man in a world drowning in them. How many songs did they dance to? How quickly did she loose track of the time? That had never happened before, but in those moments, her world became him, and nothing else mattered.
The next day she tried to leave it behind. He was already spoken for and had a dragon bound to his heart. Numidel suggested she try sparring to clear her mind and sharpen her focus. It seemed a good suggestion; a few rounds of combat would be just the thing to remind her who she was. That was until every man on the sparing field fell like children playing at swords with sticks. She even challenged two of them in the same battle, causing it to last only three seconds longer. She was ashamed that the men of Astikar were so easily defeated and demanded to know who the best fighter in the camp was. She should not have been surprised to hear them say, Gersius.
This spawned a sense of purpose. Sarah realized if she could best him in a duel, it would go a long way to helping her sort her feelings. Surely a man who was no match for her with a sword was unworthy of her. She would challenge him, defeat him, and then be able to rest her thoughts. He accepted the challenge and met her on the field, smiling confidently and apologizing that he would win.
She hadn't felt that stirred in thousands of years. Their swords clashed in a dance of skill and cunning. She was expecting him to last longer, but not fight her to a standstill. When he threw her to the ground, she realized the truth. He was her match in every way. He was perfect for her and capable of leading even one who was accustomed to leading. At that moment, she redoubled her efforts, throwing her full might at him only to be easily countered. Oh, she landed a punch of her own, but only to prove how evenly matched they were. In a last bit of desperation, she drew on her solus, tapping into her dragon might to overpower him. He caught her blow and matched it, drawing on the power of Lilly to bolster himself. For a brief moment, eyes glowing with red flames looked into eyes of blue flame. She knew in her heart she was defeated.
For the second time in less than a week, she fled him. Needing to be away with her thoughts as doubts ran wild in her mind. Two women already claimed him, and Sarah could make no claim of her own. Then as if by some act of divine will, those two women came to her and asked if she loved them.
What else could she say? How many times did she question it in those days after? What was this feeling that was eating her up inside and bringing her shamefully to tears? Was this love? Was this the feeling humans would die for? She tried to fight it, explaining that they were already a family. Then they said the words that put holes in all her defenses and cracked even the most stubborn beliefs of her heart. They told her there was no reason they couldn't love another. Before Sarah could react, they held her head and kissed her, admitting they wanted to love her.
She had nothing left with which to fight. The excuse she clung to was gone, and all those chaotic feelings she had no understanding of came rushing out. She admitted how she felt and that she wanted to share the secret of this love with them. They promised to talk to him and set her on the path to joining this love, but he said no.
It was the second time in weeks she felt rejected. First, to awake and discover, the dragon knight already had a dragon. Now to ask the same man for permission to join his love and be told no. Thayle and Lilly insisted it wasn't no, it was not now, but it was still a rejection. It said she wasn't important enough to pursue, that he had more important things to do. She had to admit he did have more important things to do. Gersius had a war to plan and an army to lead. He marched down a road surrounded by spies, assassins, and ambushes at every turn. He discovered new lies and new snares in his path nearly every step. Even now, he hoping Thayle could shed some light on one of those lies. Why were the armies of Ulustrah sent out alone to die, and where was the second company?”
What time did he have for her? His wives insisted he wanted time to get to know her so that he might appreciate her love more. He wanted to make sure she didn't feel neglected or unequally loved. All that was admirable, but it did little to quell the pain inside. She still felt rejected, and despite what she heard him say to that vile Yarvine, she was still upset.
Once Thayle was on foot and promised to return, Sarah hid in the hills and closed her eyes. She needed time to be alone with her thoughts and retreated to the dream. Alone on a beach out of her memories, she allowed herself to feel the pain of his rejection. She hoped that if she allowed herself to feel it in full, it would burn itself out. Then she would see the truth and be able to settle her heart for the wait, but suddenly, he was there.
The shock was complete. Surely that was a phantom, a creation of her pain in the dream. He reached for her and asked if she was meant to be his. After all her thinking and struggling to understand, she could come to only one conclusion. Yes, she had always meant to be his. She was supposed to be the dragon knights reward, the prize for his faith, but something went wrong, and the path went astray. To this phantom, she confessed her belief that she was his prize, but he lost her. He looked away, eyes closed as if deep in thought, as the panic and shame caught up with her. She fled the dream, returning to the waking world more troubled than when she had gone in.
Now she waited anxiously for the woman who insisted they were wives. Why did she feel this way? Why did thinking of Thayle and Lilly as her wives cause her to feel excited? Why did not being able to call him her husband make her so frustrated?
She threw her head down and settled in the brush, bending a tree as she gave up. Likely Thayle wouldn't be back until morning, and there was nothing to do but dwell on the fact that she would have to wait. Like all things related to the three objects of her desire, she would have to wait.
Gersius opened his eyes to see the back of Lilly's head and let out a tired sigh. What had the vision meant? Was it a confession that Sarah was supposed to be his, or a reminder that she was lost to him?
“She was meant to be mine,” he whispered, repeating the words that made the pain all the more real.
“Who was?” Lilly asked, alerting him that she was present. She turned in his lap, looking deep into his eye as she read his thoughts. “Sarah,” she whispered. “What made you change your mind?”
He looked down and explained his prayer to Astikar and what happened.
“She told you she was supposed to be your reward,” Lilly repeated. “The one he took away from you.”
“It would seem so,” Gersius said. “I may be the reason she isn’t first. Just like I caused you pain, I have caused it for Sarah as well.”
Lilly thought about it a moment more then looked up excited. “But she is here now. She can still be a reward.”
“She won't be first,” Gersius said.
Lilly went to reply and then fell back into a thought. “Does that matter? She wants to know what love is. Why should she care that she didn't learn it first?”
“She is very proud of her age and her sacrifice. She rotted in that temple for six of your lifetimes. To her, the promised reward is everything.”
Lilly nodded but looked no less excited. “We can’t help that now, but we can help her fill her days with meaning. She can come to know how amazing the love of a human is. She will be so happy once her eyes are opened to the truth.”
“I still worry,” he said.
“I do, too,” Lilly said and got up to stand before him. She leaned over slightly and pointed to the wall as she scowled at him. “I worry that she will end up like that dragon rotting in the field. Dead before she ever knew what she was missing, her heart locked away in the curse.” Lilly paused and took on an expression with pleading eyes. “I love her, and I don't want that for her.”
“I know,” he sighed. “I do not love her as you do, but only because I was trying not to see her in such a way. Now that I have had time to think, I believe I could love her, provided we have time to grow.” He ran his hand through his hair, looking about as if confused. “But there is no time.”
“We have to find the time,” Lilly insisted. “This is too important.”
“The war is too important,” Gersius corrected. “Restoring Balisha, stopping the Doan, saving the empire, these are all too important. It is hard to prioritize Sarah’s feelings when thousands might die in the delay. She would see it just as I do, and understand.”
“I know she will, but that doesn’t make it any easier.” Lilly turned away, folding her arms over her chest. “The vision told you she was meant to be your reward. Isn’t it worth the risk to bring her in and love her now? What more evidence do you need?”
Gersius tried to rationalize his thoughts so he could reply. Sarah must have been the dragon in all those previous dreams and visions. If she was, then the divines were trying to tell him something, but why now? When all the world was being torn apart in a savage war, why send this message now?
“Astikar told me I lost this reward and made it clear he would not give it to me. I don’t understand why any of this is happening, but if she was his reward, then maybe we are not meant to have her?”
Lilly shook her head, and he felt her frustration over the bind. He went to say something to soothe her, but she burst out at him before he could begin.
“You know that isn't true,” she argued. “You did this to me and was about to do it to Thayle. You dread taking wives while you are so deep in this horrible conflict. I understand why, but this is a unique circumstance. Sarah is an ancient red dragon who is your equal in every way. She isn't some housewife you left behind to wonder if you will ever come home. She will charge into the battlefield with us, and stand at your side, just as Thayle and I do.”
He could only agree but now had to wonder what Astikar felt. Why had Astikar shown him this? Was it the god's blessing? Or a punishment to remind him that he lost her.
“Stop thinking that,” Lilly said with a pointed finger. “I understand why you hesitate, but you have told me several times that a good commander makes quick decisions even when he doesn’t have all the information. Stop waiting for absolute proof. Your wives want her, you want her, but you’re so worried it will hurt somehow.”
Gersius gave her a second then answered her as honestly as he could. “I would take Sarah as a wife this moment if I knew for sure it wouldn’t harm you.”
“Me?” Lilly asked in confusion. “How does this affect me?”
He took a moment to collect his thoughts and lay them out carefully. He wanted to make sure she understood and could appreciate his point of view.
“I have two wives who fill my heart with love, overflowing,” he began. “I need nothing more to make my life complete, and I am happy beyond measure. Now Sarah comes along and is beautiful and wonderful, and in many ways, compliments you and Thayle.”
“Then why are you hesitating?” Lilly asked.
“Please, let me finish,” he insisted and waited for her to nod. “I am worried because I don’t know her as well as I knew you or Thayle before I made you my wives. I am afraid of the future, and what might happen when we reach Calathen. I fear that since I already don’t have enough time for the wives I have, I won’t have any for her. I just wanted some peace of mind before I moved ahead and built a relationship, so I prayed.”
“And you had that terrible vision,” Lilly answered. “The one that said you might die.” She walked across the room, holding her arms, and looked out the doorway over the balcony. “Why is this all so complicated?”
“It is the timing,” Gersius answered as he stepped closer. “We have so little time for each other, and now we have to find time for her. I have spent what time I can in meditation, and I am certain Sarah is important to us. I have had several visions that I am sure were signs of her, including one where you kiss her dragon form on the nose.”
Lilly turned with a smile and glanced at him. “You did?”
He nodded and drew closer, grateful her anger was slowly abating. “I have taken all this into consideration, and I have to admit, it seems to indicate she should be a wife. My last concern is my greatest, that she will dominate you and Thayle, turning our family upside down.”
“Why would you think that?” Lilly asked.
“Look how she treated you when she first arrived,” Gersius said. “I had to intervene to keep her from insisting you bow your head. She has also scolded Thayle and I, several times, and has questioned my decisions. Have you forgotten the argument we had over the prisoners?”
“I would have said the same thing before you bound me,” Lilly said sternly. “I would have looked on those rodents and wondered why you kept them alive. But I changed when your heart opened to me. I learned how to love as you do because the bind allowed me to. She will change too, and be another blessing to you and your wives.”
“I still don't know,” he replied but looked up when Lilly filled with anger.
“Then I won't go on,” she said firmly. “You need a dragon to walk through the gates, well I'm not going. You will have to ask Sarah to do it.”
“Lilly,” he said, stepping toward her as she backed away. “You made a promise to help me do this, and you are Balisha's champion. You have to go to Calathen.”
“I don't care!” Lilly shouted. “If Balisha and the other divines want my help, they can answer our questions directly for a change. I am tired of being sent visions of pain and death whenever we pray about Sarah. I want an answer, a direct one, or I am not setting foot in Calathen!”
Gersius went to argue when there was a knock at the door. Lilly looked away in frustration as he sighed and went to open it. On the other side was the smiling face of Gedris, who bowed slightly and spoke.
“Ayawa sent me to get you and your wives. Gams has found something he wants you to see. He said it was very important.”
Gersius was glad for the interruption and thankful it was Gedris who came. “Where are we to meet him?”
“In the back hall on the ground floor,” Gedris answered. “He refused to say what this was about until you were there.”
Gersius nodded and assured her they would be down soon and shut the door. When he glanced at Lilly, she felt even angrier and turned her back on him again.
“Lilly, we need to go,” he said, causing her to sigh.
“Of course we do,” she replied. “The war demands all our time, and traps Sarah in her prison.”
He hated to hear the pain in her voice, but she was right. Maybe it was time to stop waiting for proof and tell Sarah he loved her. Maybe this was his nature, the need to be cautious with every step. Perhaps he needed to follow his heart instead, and choose the path he desired. Maybe, but the vision was unclear on which choice was the right one. Thankfully Sarah was away with Thayle, for now, he needn't make a decision, but soon he would have to, and his life might hang in the balance.
Comments
WhiteRabbit
Hope you heal up cleanly, wrist/hand injuries seem like they become chronic problems easily.
In other news, my hand is 98% healed. However, I am developing a sort of bump where the nail went in. The doctor says if it isn't gone in a few days to come in and have it xrayed. I wasn't concerned about it until today when it started to hurt, especially when I type. I swear my life is conspiring to keep me from my passions. I love this story and I want it to be better than it is. That's hard to do when you can't sleep, or type, or spend the time you need on it. So,...Thank you all so much for supporting me and trying to help me reach that vision.
I have rewritten this chapter three times, and am releasing it because I can't make up my mind. Sarah has become a burden to me. I can see clearly the scene where Gersius takes her hand and looks into her eyes to ask her to be his wife. I have already written it and know it's outcome, BUT I have ten chapters of other things that have to happen first. Loosing three days of writing time really set me back as well. I didn't have the time I wanted to plan this chapter out and decided how I wanted to deliver it. I even had a version where instead of seeing Sarah in the vision he sees Astikar himself, who speaks to Gersius directly and answers his questions. This would have forced my hand prematurely and caused chaos for a few chapters so I removed it. In the end I wrote a chapter about the distillation of his and her thoughts and some insights into what they were thinking. I also set up the next step, so hopefully I can get this bugbear off my shoulders. Anyway, I am not happy with this, but I don't have any more time to spend on it.
