Omnixius
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DKP 6-1 Forgive yourself
🕑 Added 2020-10-23 22:34:21 +0000 UTCStars filled a clear sky presided over by the shining luminescence of the silver moon. The world beneath was bathed in its radiant light, softening the shadows to drive away the dark. Dew formed on the grass as the land drifted through the long hours of darkness. A breeze blew in the hills, sweeping over the land to carry the scent of water with it. It ruffled the curtains that framed the archway of the balcony, finding its way into the stillness of the bedroom. Four beings lay in bed after a night of passion and love, where a new order was affirmed. One lay awake and aware to feel the gentle kiss of the wind as it passed over the bed.
Sarah struggled not to sniff as the memory of what happened hours ago replayed in her mind. A carpet of silky hair dark at the night sky covered her shoulders as Thayle slept. The woman lay at peace, sleeping soundly on her chest. Sarah dared to put an arm around the sleeping woman and pull her close, savoring the embrace. Something about this felt right as if she had come home from a long journey. This quiet moment with a woman in her arms was a welcome respite from the hours before.
She wasn't sure what she expected from the binding. The feelings that came across it were overwhelming, and when he began to touch her, everything changed. Thayle and Lilly were right; there were whole emotions she knew nothing of. Some of them took her by surprise and washed her away. Others caused the world to fade around her. When she looked into his eyes and felt what he was feeling she started to cry.
The hours that followed were intense, magnified by the bind itself. She shared in every touch, every feeling, every passionate thought. Even when Lilly and Thayle made love to each other, she felt it all. It was as if she was every one of them, and all of them her.
When it was finally over, and she was allowed to rest, her mind was exhausted. It took several hours for the shock to wear off, but now she was awake and haunted. Lilly once said that dragons lived long, pointless lives and that Gersius and Thayle gave her meaning. Sarah could never understand what she meant by that, now she did, and the tears came anew. She went to lift her free hand to stifle her sobs lest she wake Thayle, but a hand wrapped around hers. She turned her head to look into his eyes and saw nothing but compassion, an emotion she had not known until a few hours ago. His chest was awash in blue as Lilly laid on across him, her face buried in his shoulder as she slept.
“How are you feeling?” he asked softly as his thumb traced circles over her hand.
“I don't know,” Sarah replied. “I don't know what I feel. It's all so new to me.”
“Lilly was the same. She cried every time we made love for a week and still does now and then.”
“It is hard to express how I feel,” Sarah replied. “As a dragon, I have no concept of this lovemaking. We dragons feel nothing like this, nor is there any strong emotional attachment. Being a part of this has awakened a desire inside me. No wonder Numidel could never make me understand. You have to experience it. It can't be explained.”
“Take your time,” Gersius urged. “You are a wife now. Lilly and Thayle will help you through everything.”
“And what about you?” Sarah asked, her face wearing a thin smile as tears rolled from her eyes.
“I will always be here for you,” he replied. “But I want to make sure you have the time and space you need to adjust. This is a massive change, especially considering your great age and power.”
Sarah nodded and looked down at the head on her chest.
“I have a human woman asleep on my chest, and I can't help but feel this is right. Deep down, my nature is screaming that I am a dragon, but my heart says I never want this to end.”
“It will get easier,” Gersius urged. “Lilly used to talk about her nature fighting her.”
Sarah smiled and gently rubbed at Thayle's back. “You have bred me. Were I to look at this as a dragon, I would be off, seeking the solitude of my lair. I shouldn't care at all about you, and yet I fear to be apart. I feel as if our union has made me a part of you, and the last thing I want to do is leave.”
“Sarah, take a deep breath and listen to what I am about to say,” he urged with a tender voice. “The bind allows you to feel us, especially when you're making skin contact. Much of what you are feeling is coming from me, or Thayle, or Lilly. It is difficult at first, but you must learn to separate your feelings from the rest of us.”
“I feel like you are me,” Sarah replied. “Just holding your hand, I can tell you're concerned. You are worried you rushed this, and I wasn't ready.”
“I gave Thayle time to adjust, even after I bound her,” Gersius said. “I wonder if I should have done the same for you. You needed time to adapt to the binding before overwhelming you like this.”
“No,” Sarah said and laid her head back. “I needed this. I needed to understand what Lilly said about the change.” She squeezed his hand and sniffed, causing Thayle to shift on her chest. She waited until the woman quieted down before continuing. “I am glad you and I have shared this. I am still nervous about what I shared with Lilly and Thayle, but I enjoyed it.”
“Thayle would tell you that not all women are comfortable with that,” Gersius said. “Some of the women in the camp have even suggested their relationship was immoral.”
Sarah nodded her head slightly and looked up at the ceiling. “Hearing that makes me angry. Nobody should say such things about my precious jewels. I suppose in some way I understand. Until I experienced this, I too found it hard to accept.”
“Didn’t you say you knew men with multiple wives?” Gersius asked.
Sarah nodded and brushed at Thayle's back. “I did, but I have no idea if his wives shared as we do. I suppose they did, they certainly seemed happy with one another, but humans often appear happy for show. You are very good at putting on an appearance when in truth, you are hurting deep inside.”
“Thayle would say I am one who is good at that,” Gersius said. “She accuses me of hiding my pains deep inside.”
Sarah looked down at the gentle women in her arms, and Gersius chuckled.
“Why do you laugh?” she asked.
“You were just thinking about how you wished she was awake to kiss you,” Gersius replied. “Didn’t you get enough of that from Lilly?”
Sarah joined him in a chuckle, careful not to disturb Thayle. Lilly had indeed relished kissing. Her lips were pressed to Sarah’s for half the night, refusing to let her free.
“I will be honest with you,” Sarah began. “I thought this kissing was rather crude, but now that I have experienced it, I relish it. It is a way to express how I feel, and receive that expression back.”
“It is is a very effective way to express one's love, and Lilly is very fond of it,” he replied.
“That dragon is so full of happiness,” Sarah said. “Even asleep, I can feel it from her. She is like a bonfire in the night, filling the land around her with a warm glow.”
“She was particularly happy tonight,” Gersius laughed. “She has been after me to invite you in for days.”
“And why did you hesitate? Was it because of me?”
He sighed and nodded his head. “These two were already my wives. I was afraid your coming into our relationship would unbalance it. I just wanted more time to build a stronger foundation with you.”
“And you were ready to ask me this morning when I decided to be so demanding,” Sarah added.
“You were speaking from your heart as a dragon,” Gersius said. “I was upset about it, but thankfully Lilly reminded me that she was just like you. She and Thayle both made me realize that it was the bind that helped Lilly grow. Between that and the vision I had of you, I knew it was only a matter of time, but Lilly had other plans.”
“The prophecy,” Sarah said. “I have been thinking about that in the quiet of the night. If I am written into the prophecy, then I was always meant to be left behind by the first dragon knight. Astikar lied to me when he said I would be called first.”
“I don’t think he lied to you,” Gersius said. “I think your place as first hasn’t come yet.”
“To what other place can I be called to first?”
“I do not know, but it could be just over the next dawn,” he suggested.
Sarah looked into his eyes as a thought came to mind. “What vision did you have of me?”
Gersius sighed and rubbed at her hand. “I saw you on a beach during a gentle storm. You were crying because your promise had been broken. I called out and asked you if you were meant to be mine. You told me that you were the reward Astikar meant for me, but I had lost you.”
Sarah’s eyes went wide as her heart started to race. Those were the exact events of her visit to the dream, which could only mean that wasn’t a phantom.
“How?” she whispered. “How did you enter the dream and find me?”
“What are you talking about?” he asked.
“That was me,” she said. “I was meditating in the hills while I waited for Thayle to return. I used to walk that beach eons ago when I was very young. I always remembered that day of the storm and return to that moment to be alone with my thoughts. I thought you were a phantom born out of my pain come to torment me.”
“That was really you?” he whispered back.
“Yes,” Sarah said. “If you were able to find me in the dream, then you must truly care about me,” she said and looked back to his eyes. “This is the love you speak of?”
Gersius smiled. “Love has a power all its own, and our binding gives it strength.”
She nodded and laid back, the glow of happiness filling her heart. She was about to say something when he spoke first and made her heart beat faster.
“If that was the dream, then you knew all along you were meant to be mine?”
Sarah nodded her head and looked away. “I knew I was meant to be your dragon, but until I met Lilly, I didn't understand what that meant. As my understanding grew, I started to feel the pain. That day you rescued her in the dream, and I saw the power of your connection, I began to hurt inside. I always thought you and I were meant to be a team, warriors on a great crusade for power and glory. Now I understand Astikar meant more than that. He wanted me to know this love and to have it with you.”
“But on that beach, you seemed to understand that already,” he insisted.
“I did,” Sarah admitted. “The truth finally dawned on me when you rejected me. I felt the first new emotion in the pain of rejection. It opened my eyes to the truth.”
“Why did you run?” he asked. “I would have told you I loved you right there.”
“I was frightened,” Sarah admitted. “I don't know what it is I am feeling. I don't understand why you cause me to feel it. You intruded into the place I go to be alone, and I panicked.”
He nodded and squeezed her hand as she looked at the ceiling. Why was she admitting to fear? Why did she want him to know everything?. Would he love her so much if he knew about her sins? She looked down at the hand that grasped hers and let out a deep sigh.
“There is something I need to tell all of you,” she said. “Would you sleep for me?”
“You want me to sleep?” he asked.
Sarah nodded. “I want to pull you into the dream, you, and our wives.”
He nodded and laid back as she felt the uncertainty that plagued his mind. He showed his mastery of focus as he closed his eyes and cleared his mind, drifting to sleep in a matter of minutes. She closed her own and focused on feeling for the women around her as a destination came to mind.
“What?” Thayle said in shock as she turned about. “Is this Numidel’s temple?”
Lilly was suddenly beside her as they looked around at the giant chamber underground, the platform to the altar directly behind them. Gersius arrived a moment later to turn about to face them as they looked on in confusion.
“How did we get here?” Thayle asked.
“I brought you,” Sarah said as she appeared from a shadow, stepping into the light. She wore a simple white gown with a hood over her bowed head. “You are inside the dream, and I have gathered you to share the truth of my sins.”
“Your sins?” Lilly asked. “What have you ever done?”
“I carry a burden in my heart that has haunted me for many years. I brought you here to share it with you, so you can know who I truly am.”
“Sarah, what could you have possibly done that is so bad?” Thayle asked.
Gersius walked to her and took her hand, his strength flowing over the touch as he gently reassured her.
“I love you. Nothing can change that now,” he insisted.
Sarah nodded and began to speak openly, sharing her feelings since she arrived to join the camp. She explained that slowly she began to desire what Lilly had and realized she needed a husband.
It was important that her husband be able to stand at her side as an equal, and sadly no other man in camp could hope to do so. Only Gersius had the strength of character she needed, but he was already spoken for. She never dreamed she could join his family and never dared to believe Lilly and Thayle would love her. She talked about how impressed she was with his devotion and care over Lilly, and especially his battle in the dream.
She explained how the dream was a mirror world but that a strong mind could alter the dream, instantly bringing things into being or traveling great distances. Gersius so intensely loved Lilly that he tore not only himself but the rest of them away, carrying them to the place where this connection was forged. She explained how that balcony and garden probably didn't exist in the dream until he made them exist. By sheer power of how he felt for Lilly, he caused the dream to respond to him. She found it hard to articulate what an accomplishment that was. In that moment, she knew that humans and dragons had the right to love one another, and she had been wrong all this time. Struggling with that knowledge, she began to wonder how she might have such a relationship. Could a man love her like he loved Lilly? It seemed impossible, but she was reminded every time she saw them together.
“Then I started to realize she spent more time with you than him,” Sarah said, looking at Thayle. She explained that she paid more attention to how they interacted. It was clear Thayle loved Lilly every bit as much as Gersius did. Somehow Lilly had found two humans who were one in heart with her. She realized that she wanted that too, a woman to share her heart with. She saw the perfection of Lilly's relationship for the first time and wept for the beauty of it.
“She only spends more time with me because he is so busy,” Thayle said. “If he had more time, we would both spend more with him.”
“I understand that now,” Sarah sighed. More truth came out as she explained being jealous of Lilly for being first. She was hurt over the breaking of Astikar's promise and brooding over how long she had waited trapped in this temple. She did her best to articulate the pain of being locked away and then went on to explain the real tragedy.
“My calling struck while I was trapped here,” Sarah admitted as her voice strained in pain. “I had no choice, I was insane with need, and he was right there.” They went silent as Sarah hung her head and let out a low sob.
“You mated with Numidel,” Lilly said in shock.
Sarah nodded. “He tried to deny me, but I threatened to kill him and mate his dead body. I had no choice. I couldn't leave the temple for long enough to find another. I tried to hide in my lair as it clawed at my mind, but the hunger of the calling is maddening.”
“It gets that bad?” Thayle asked.
Sarah nodded and looked away. “When the calling comes, you lose as self-control. All that matters to you is finding a male and breeding him. Before the collapse, we dragons used the dream to arrange the breeding. When a female was close to her calling, she would come before the elder mothers, and they would help her locate a suitable partner. She would then fly off to mate him before the madness struck and save herself the humiliation of begging a male to do the job. I had no choice; I was trapped. If I left the protection of the temple for too long, I would be consumed by the curse.”
“I am so sorry,” Lilly said. “Thank goodness you were there to help me with mine. I wasn’t even aware my calling was starting.”
“You triggered yours prematurely,” Sarah said. “And yes, thankfully, I was here to intervene when the dreams started. Had you gone on, the calling would have consumed you. You would have thrown yourself at any man willing to breed you, begging them to do it. But a human man can't satiate the calling, and it would never have been enough. I have seen it before, and what happened to the females who went mad with need. The title of whore doesn't do them justice, and the damage they do to their relationships can never be repaired. This is one of the leading reasons why I question Balisha's choice.”
“How did you dragons manage this in the past?” Gersius asked.
“The elders began cautioning young dragons not to mix with humans until after their proper calling. They also intervened when a female lost control and made sure she was mated properly. The only other choice is to battle the manifestation in the dream. For some reason, a female dragon is in a sort of second sleep that is the madness of the calling. If you can wake her from this madness in the dream, the calling will subside and free her mind.”
“Could this happen to me again?” Lilly asked.
“I have never known a female to go through it twice, but it was a new thing for us. Honestly, the only way to truly avert the calling is to mate a dragon and be pregnant with an egg.”
“Pregnant,” Lilly repeated. “Are you sure that was my calling?”
“Of course it was,” Sarah said. “I have aided in a young dragon's efforts to resist these dreams before.”
“But,” Lilly began, then went silent as she shrank away.
Sarah sighed and went back to her discussion, explaining how mating with Numidel changed their relationship. He was more harmed by it than her, and she spent a lot more time sleeping to avoid seeing him.
“May I ask how many eggs you had?” Lilly dared.
“Three,” Sarah replied. “Two girls and a boy.”
“Where are they now?”
Sarah took a deep breath, her chest swelling, then let out a shuddering sigh. “I only know where one of them is. In order to raise them, I had to dare to leave the cave. The older a dragon is, the more they can resist; thus, madness doesn't come right away. I would dash out to hunt and find food for them. When they grew older, it was time for them to go. I knew once they crossed that seal, they would never come back.” She started to cry again, and Lilly sniffled with her.
“You don’t have to go on,” Thayle said, as she came to put a hand on her shoulder. “We understand this is painful for you.”
“I want you to know,” Sarah said. “I want you to judge me.”
“Judge you for what?” Gersius asked.
“I told you, I know where one of them is,” Sarah said. “One of my daughters came back a thousand years later, bitter and consumed by the curse. She'd learned of Solesta and came back to tear down the shrine in the temple, breaking the protective seal. She confronted us and spoke to me like I was a monster for hiding from what she called Solesta’s gift. She didn’t even acknowledge that I was her mother. I was just a rival dragon in her way, and an enemy to her truth.”
“What happened?” Lilly asked.
“That is what happened,” Sarah replied and pointed to the dragon skeleton in the corner. “Foolish girl, she never stood a chance against me.”
“That was your daughter?” Gersius asked in shock.
“You killed her?” Thayle gasped.
“She tried to kill me,” Sarah countered. “She was lost to the curse and blind to reason. She had a wicked spear made for her size. I have no idea where she got it, but she buried it in my side and screamed at me to die. She was so full of life when she was a broodling. She used to giggle when I played with her. I see a lot of her in Lilly, that youthful playfulness and desire to be alive. Solesta took her mind away and made her hate me.”
“No wonder you are so torn apart,” Thayle said. “But, Numidel told us he killed that dragon.”
“I am sure he did,” Sarah said. “He has been trying to protect me from myself ever since.”
“How did he manage to lie to us?” Lilly asked.
“I wasn’t close enough to see his aura,” Thayle said. “He kept standing just far enough away.”
“Numidel is a clever dragon, and I am sure he knew you had the sight,” Sarah said. “He is wise and well educated with a vast collection of human books in his lair, or he did. They started to crumble years ago, but he has read them so often he knows them from memory. He was a bit of a history keeper in our time. He recorded major events and kept books about our lore.”
“You must feel terribly guilty,” Lilly said.
“I am more enraged to see Solesta's blessing first hand. Something drove my daughter to return to this temple. She came specifically to break the protective ward and was armed to do it. One day I would like to meet the one who sent her, but I suspect he is already gone.”
“He is?” Gersius replied.
Sarah let out a deep growl that they felt through the air. “I believe he was behind the first war and was the enemy the dragon knight rode out to defeat.” She went silent and lowered her head. She'd told them the truth. Now they knew she had mated Numidel and killed her own daughter. Just as she readied to accept their chastisement, warm arms embraced her. Lilly pressed into her back and pulled her hood down so she could kiss at her neck.
“I will shower you with love, so you forget all about this,” Lilly whispered.
“Do I still deserve your love? Doesn't knowing I mated Numidel and killed one of my children bother you?”
“Why would it?” Thayle asked. “I have had other men beside Gersius, and your daughter was lost to the curse. That dragon that came back wasn’t the same the one that left.”
“You have known other men?” Sarah asked in shock.
“I did, but that was before I was married to them,” Thayle pointed out. “I am committed to this family now, and I belong only to them.”
“Gersius has known other women,” Lilly said and then whispered in her ear. “He is rather fond of women with red hair.”
“You are?” Sarah said as she looked to his face to see him smile.
“Thayle and I have peeked into his dreams and seen him kissing a woman with red hair,” Lilly continued.
“Lilly, you do not have to tell her that,” he interrupted.
Sarah looked from face to face in stunned silence as Lilly released her and stepped around to join the others.
“You have no harsh words for me?” she asked.
“You have done nothing wrong,” Gersius said. “You were trapped, and your calling came. You raised your children as best you could, but one of them changed and came back an enemy. How could I fault you for that?”
“But after insisting the men of Astikar be judged and sentenced to death. You will not measure me by my own words?”
Gersius shook his head. “Maybe now you understand. Things happen to people that leave them in terrible situations. They do not always make the best choices when these moments come. Sometimes the mistake can not be avoided or is made in ignorance. When these instances occur is when mercy must be measured out. Some mistakes must be paid for, this is true, but in most cases, a man shown the truth will turn from the mistake and work to undo any harm he has caused.”
“But I did something terrible,” Sarah pressed.
“You are too hard on yourself. You feel guilty because you mated with your friend and then was forced to kill one of your daughters. You had no control over either of these circumstances. You were under the calling and could not resist, and then your daughter came back armed with a weapon to kill you. What choice did you have in either situation?”
“None,” Sarah admitted. “But, I still carry the pain.”
“That is why you are worthy,” Gersius said. “If you felt no remorse over these acts, then your heart is not worthy of us. That you are wounded and feel the sting of the pain proves you have the capacity for great love and compassion. You are more than worthy of being in this family.”
“You all forgive me?” Sarah asked.
“No,” Gersius said. “You have committed no wrong against us; therefore, we cannot forgive you.”
“Sarah,” Thayle said as she stepped closer. “You need to forgive yourself.”
Sarah turned away, her emotions running wild again. She looked to the bones in the corner and remembered the little dragon that laughed and played. That dragon didn't die the day she came back; she died when the curse consumed her. Thayle took her hand, leaning into her side with a sigh.
“This is why you are so hard on others because you are hard on yourself,” Thayle said. “You need to let this go. Wake us up, so you don't have to see this terrible sight anymore.”
Sarah went to comply but had another thought. She focused, and the sound of distant thunder rolled as a gentle rain fell on her face.
“Where is this?” Lilly asked as she spun around on a beach under a cloudy sky.
“This was a beach near my castle,” Sarah replied. “It was frequently stormy as it is now, and I often came here to be alone.” She turned to face Gersius as he recognized the beach. She smiled and approached him, holding her hands out. When he accepted them, her heart skipped a beat as he pulled her close. “I was always meant to be yours, but I didn't realize what being yours truly was.”
“Oh, this is the beach you were on,” Lilly said as she remembered the vision Gersius described.
Sarah watched him nod and look into her eyes. She felt a strange weakness to know he was looking into her depths as if he could read her soul. She heard Thayle's words about bowing her head and accepting his role as leader. Her dragon nature clawed up, forcing a battle for control, but in a moment, she dipped her head.
“I am yours. I will accept your decisions.”
Gersius sighed and released a hand to run his fingers down her cheek.
“I do not want you to give up being who you are,” he said. “I only ask that so long as I am chosen to walk this path, you walk it with me and are a blessing to me.”
Sarah felt grateful that he did not want her to be submissive, but she had seen human households before.
“Once your task is done, won’t you still be our head?” she asked. “Is it not normal for a man to lead his family?”
Gersius smiled. “It is normal,” he said and rubbed her cheek again, sending shocks through her spine. “But I want you to know; you don't have to blindly accept anything I say. You are free to have your own points of view. I treasure your often logical point of view and the great knowledge and wisdom you carry from a lost age. I want to stress this again. You are not to give up being who you are. Instead, bring who you are into this family and be a blessing to it.”
“That is no easy task for me,” Sarah admitted. She knew her nature would surface again, and her tongue would be sharp. “My nature is often quick to lash out.”
Gersius smiled and nodded his head. “You may get angry at me and say something you regret, but know this. I love you, and I will forgive you. So long as you never come to hate me, you will be forgiven.”
“Never,” Sarah said quickly. Even in the height of her arguments with him, she never hated him. She rather respected his strength in standing up to her. He was strong, not wilting like so many of the nobles in her court. His lips came to hers, breaking her thoughts, and suddenly all that mattered was his touch.
“Why do you make me feel this way?” Sarah asked as he stepped back. “What is it I am feeling?”
“Love,” Lilly said from behind. “He loves you, and you can feel it.”
“I will make a proclamation and announce Sarah has joined us as a wife,” Gersius said as he stared into her eyes.
“No,” Sarah replied quickly. “Don’t make a fuss of it. Let those who ask be told, but I feel too overwhelmed for such a thing right now.”
“You are my wife. I would not keep such a thing secret,” Gersius said. “I would rather lift your light high and let the world see how great a treasure you are to me.”
Sarah felt her eyes growing wet and hed to look away as they surrounded her in a hug. She lost her focus, and suddenly her eyes came open to the ceiling in their room. Thayle's cheek came off her chest, and the silky hair tickled her skin. Those angled eyes full of mystery looked down into hers as she whispered, 'I love you.'
“I love you too,” Sarah replied. “Please don't go.” She watched as Thayle smiled and shifted anyway, sliding to her left. She was about to ask her why she was leaving when a soft hand ran up her stomach as Lilly climbed in. The two women curled into either side of her and kissed before leaning in to kiss her. Then they laid to her chest, snuggling in as if trying to get warm.
In all her years, such a moment had never crossed her mind. Dragons were solitary and private. Creatures of great power and wisdom that needed no other to be whole. Now two women clung tightly to her chest, wishing to share the gift of touch with her. She couldn't imagine how she had lived so long without this. How had she not realized how much this strange human expression of emotion mattered to her? These creatures loved her and wanted to express that love through kisses, and hugs, and more.
“You will understand soon,” Lilly whispered. “Just close your eyes and let us love you. Soon you will understand what love is, and then the pain will come.”
“What pain?” Sarah asked, looking down at the blue head at her shoulder.
“When I finally understood it fully, I realized how wasted my life had been, and I lamented all those years I lost. I worry you will suffer even worse for it. You have lived a great deal longer than I have. I don't want you to be sad about all those years.”
Sarah tried to see it from Lilly's point of view but could not quite grasp it. It did make sense that once she understood it all thoroughly, it might alter her perspective of past events. It was a truth coming to erase a lie and lay bare the mistakes made in her ignorance. She realized the men of Astikar had made the exact same mistakes, and for most, the truth would be a terrible pain.
“I finally understand,” Sarah whispered. “Thank you for never giving up on me.”
Lilly smiled and traced circles around Sarah's belly button. “I was never going to give up on you. I love you, and I knew you were supposed to be ours. I didn't need that book to tell me.”
Sarah realized she knew it too. The promise was the dragon knight would come for her, and she would be his. Only now did she fully understand what being his truly meant.
“You need to take more time to work through these emotions,” Thayle said. “I can see your thoughts, and your mind is hectic.”
“A lot has changed,” Sarah replied. “And the path I walk is strange to me.”
“Come to me every time you have a worry or doubt,” Thayle urged. “Do not suffer in your worries alone.”
“I have always been alone,” she replied as Thayle kissed at her neck.
“You will never be alone again,” Lilly whispered.
Sarah closed her eyes and tried to settle back as a warm sensation washed over her. A Strong hand came to her face as she opened her eyes as his lips touched hers. She tensed under his touch, crushing the two women in her embrace. She was alive with sensation again as the kiss went on and on. When he finally left, she felt weak, as if something had been taken away. He settled into Lilly's back and began to stroke the woman as she hummed in soothed pleasure.
“It looks like they found a better place to sleep,” he laughed.
“Don’t you think you are free,” Thayle replied. “I expect your chest to be available to sleep on later.”
“Sarah should sleep on his chest,” Lilly said. “She will love having his arms around her all night. It makes you feel so safe.”
Safe? She felt safe already, or was that a flaw of her arrogance? She trusted in her power as a dragon and skill as a sword fighter, but was she truly safe? This human form was so fragile and could easily be killed by a determined foe. She realized part of why she didn’t like to sleep was the feeling that she wasn’t safe.
“Move over here, sweetheart,” Thayle said as she pulled away. Lilly smiled and slid over her body, climbing into Thayle's arms with another kiss. Sarah looked up as Gersius stared at her, his eyes showing deep compassion. He lay back and reached over to take her hand as she rolled over and came to his embrace. Her head settled on his shoulder as a broad arm curved around, wrapping her in a firm hold.
Sarah lay with her head just below his chin, feeling his skin against hers as he held her waist firmly. She felt a flood of emotion burning across the bind and found it impossible to resist. She saw images from his thoughts, showing her fleeting scenes of herself naked as he bred her.
“You are peeking into my thoughts,” he said as he began to rub her side.
“I can't help it. I don't understand how to control it,” she replied, feeling vulnerable.
“You will in time, but I think there is something we should show you. Look at my face and watch my mouth.”
Sarah leaned up and watched intently as she heard him say I love you, without moving his mouth.
“How?” she asked.
“It is the bind,” he said while his mouth remained motionless. “If you focus on your words and say them aloud in your head, we will all hear them.”
“We use it a lot to have private conversations when others are around,” Lilly added.
Sarah nodded and closed her eyes, trying to hear the words she wanted to speak in her head.
“Am I doing this correctly?”
“Yes,” Thayle’s voice echoed in her mind. “You picked that up quickly.”
Sarah opened her eyes and smiling as he could feel his energy, his hunger. He had a desire for her and was relishing her being in his arms. This felt strange to her that a human desired her as such, but again it felt right. There was a strange pleasure in knowing he wanted such from her, and it warmed her heart.
“There is more,” he said. “Eventually, you will gain the aura sight.”
“The aura sight?” she repeated in confusion. “You mean what the followers of Ulustrah have?”
“You will gain gifts from all of us,” Thayle said. “You will never feel the bite of cold thanks to Lilly. You will be able to see the mood and emotions of others, thanks to me.”
“And what do I gain from you?” Sarah asked, looking into the eyes of the man she now called husband.
“I have nothing to offer you. Lilly and Thayle have gained some insight into sword fighting, but you do not need that from me.”
“Are you saying I am as good a sword fighter as you?” Sarah asked.
“You are better than me,” Gersius replied. “But, I know how to bait your arrogance.”
“Oh, is that what you did?” Sarah said with a smile. “Well, I might demand a rematch.”
“I owe Mingfe one first,” he laughed.
“Oh goodness, you had better give her one too,” Thayle said. “She brings it up all the time.”
“So, are we to remain in bed all day?” Sarah asked.
Gersius shook his head. “Sadly, we seldom have time for this. Even now, I am neglecting things that I should be doing.”
“I need to confront Yarvine,” Thayle said with a bitter voice. “I am putting an end to her illusions today.”
“I should be training my acolytes, and Ayawa asked met to spar with Gedris. She is teaching her how to fight with knives,” Lilly added.
“It has gotten bad enough where we spend less than two hours in bed,” Gersius replied. “This was another big reason whY I was concerned about making you a wife. I wanted more time for you.”
“You spend most of your nights working on that armor,” Sarah said with a nod. “I suppose you are putting your dragon gifts to use in aiding your efforts.” She paused and looked to him with a gentle smile. “I would be willing to lend my fire to your efforts. I know it is hard finding enough wood to run the forges.”
“I cannot ask you to do such a thing,” Gersius said. “You are an ancient and beautiful dragon. You are above such a task.”
“Is not the leader of the whole military campaign above slaving away at an anvil?”
Gersius smiled and nodded. “I suppose I do what I can.”
“Then let me help you,” Sarah pleaded. “You told me to be a blessing; use my fire.”
“You did say that,” Thayle teased. “Now, your words are catching you up.”
“I want breakfast,” Lilly said. “I haven’t eaten in two days.”
“What? Why not?” Thayle asked.
“She was upset that you were gone,” Gersius said.
“Oh, sweetheart,” Thayle laughed and pulled Lilly into a tight hug. “Silly dragon, you should have eaten something. Common, the morning is almost here, and the kitchens will be cooking something. Let's see if they have anything.”
Sarah watched them share a kiss and slowly climb from the bed. They went to a table as Lilly sat on a bench, and Thayle began to brush Lilly's long blue hair.
“They do this every morning,” Gersius whispered. “They groom and help each other dress. I can’t believe how comfortable they are with one another.”
“I have to admit I am nervous about all this,” Sarah whispered back. “Should I be so comfortable?”
“You should not rush into anything,” Gersius urged. “Take your time and grow into your role.”
“What is my role?” Sarah asked as Gersius stroked her side. He was quiet for a long moment until he looked a the two women preparing for the day.
“You are our wife; learn to love us with all your heart.”
“Is that my only role?” Sarah asked.
Gersius smiled and glanced at her eyes before gesturing with his hand to the girls.
“Help me with them,” he whispered. “They are not ready for the challenges ahead, and I cannot watch them as much as I need to.”
“They are both very accomplished,” Sarah argued.
“Thayle is ready to lead her army, and Lilly is ready to lead her temple, but neither is ready to be an empress. They see the end of the war as the final chapter. They have no idea what comes next.”
Sarah looked to the two women and nodded. How often had she said they needed to be taken into hand? She was an ancient dragon who had held court. She could turn these wildflowers into empresses and present them to the people. She would be the ancient mother taking care of the young ones as they once did so long ago.
“Then there is something I wish to do,” Sarah replied and pulled from his arms. She got out of bed and walked to the two women as they talked.
“Why don’t you sit beside, Lilly,” Sarah said and held out her hand.
Thayle smiled and handed her the brush before joining Lilly on the bench. Sarah stood behind them and began to brush their hair as the girls talked about the day's chores. Somehow it all felt right as softblue hair passed through her hands. She was a part of their love and shared in the bind, feeling their hearts as she never imagined she could. Today was a new day, and she looked forward to what it would bring for the first time since before the war. Heavens help anyone who threatened to take this happiness from her.
