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DKP 8-28 Honor without love?
🕑 Added 2022-09-23 23:36:22 +0000 UTCSarah pulled her massive wings tight as the rain fell on the war camp. She was once again in her dragon form just in case there was an attack by a rival dragon. They were now far to the north, at the base of the mountains that separated the empire from the northern wilds. The empire had once controlled the land north of the mountains but lost it years ago in a terrible decline. To the west was the homeland of Gersiu, a place known as Tarishan. To the east was a place called the kingdom of Hendwick. They were in a land known as Delvorn, and its local ruler was none too pleased to see them.
He cited that their presence was causing panic among the people as it spread rumors they were about to be attacked. Tales of murderous bands of bandersooks eating everything in their path now spread among the isolated towns. Gersius had done his best to combat these rumors, but humans were a peculiar thing. They were just as quick to invent a doom about to descend on them as they were to eat a meal. Like all things, they raced into wild fantasies about what might happen, and it kept people hidden in their homes.
Sarah was asked to avoid flying because it added to the panic, despite people knowing there were two dragon empresses. She offered to speak in the capital city and help the people understand, but the king declined. He was just as afraid of her as the people, so she sat in camp, grumbling about being grounded.
She passed her time teaching Shadros, Lilly, and now Mingfe about dragon lore and history. Mingfe was a surprisingly apt student who was more eager to learn than her husband. Shadros was interested, but he found the very different lives Dragons had before Solesta's madness difficult to accept. They also spent a good deal of time discussing the dream and how to enter it willfully. Lilly was full of questions about this topic and even more about how emotion could be used to magnify the effect.
Sarah knew emotions played a large role in one's power inside the dream, but she also knew it was a curse. Strong feelings of hate, fear, uncertainty, and remorse produced things equivalent to nightmares. Lilly had emotions that were unmatched among dragons and most humans, for that matter. Thankfully Lilly was always filled with love and compassion, but what would happen if she entered the dream angry and full of pain? Would her emotions run wild, turning the dream into a dangerous nightmare full of phantoms and wraiths?
Sarah cautioned her about the need for control and wanted her to practice setting her emotions aside. It was vital to clear one's head when entering the dangerous places of the dream, for strong emotions got the attention of the wraiths. The lessons had gone on for several days, and she was beginning to delight in them. She felt her role was being fulfilled as she taught a group of younger dragons about the things they would need to know. To her delight Gersius and Thayle attended some of the lessons, ready to learn about the dragons of old.
However, something bothered her, and it had to do with Lilly. She was so focused on the dream and how to use it that her aura showed annoyance if Sarah moved on to other things. Lilly was also asking questions about honor, promises, and why humans valued these things so much. She kept citing her conflict with Ayawa's people and how they accused her of having no honor. Sarah was quick to point out that those people turned Lilly's desire to appease them into a weapon. They used this sense of honor to draw Lilly into a duel so they could defeat her. What would have happened if they had taken Lilly as a prisoner, or worse, killed her? Sarah could only imagine that Ayawa might very well be the last of her people after Gersius was done with them. Sarah would see their lands turned to ash and return to them every year to ensure they were never inhabited again.
She put away such thoughts as they only made her anger burn. The end result was that Ayawa stepped up and not only defeated the woman but earned herself the right to return to her homelands. She was seen as a warrior princess reincarnated, which might be true to some extent. Sarah had seen Ayawa duel with those knives she carried, and the woman was deadly beyond measure.
Tavis was another thing. He was a tragically cursed man, following a form of magic whose laws had been lost in the chaos of the fall. Now they practiced it to their own detriment, using a barbaric and cruel method of control. It still made them dangerous, but at least for a short period of their lives, they could survive the flames. Sarah couldn't imagine how painful it must be to collapse all that heat into the narrow surface of a shadow mark. The searing torment must be indescribable, yet Tavis had done it so often his marks were all used it. He called it paying the ash price, and he could no longer afford it.
Sarah could teach him how to control the flames without the horrid marks, but Ayawa refused to allow it. She wanted Tavis to abandon the practice of fire weaving and seek a quieter life where they could raise a family. She couldn't fault the woman for wanting such a dream because Sarah shared it herself. To have a quiet home where they could live in peace to raise children with love was all Sarah could think of. She would be the alpha female, taking care of the home and seeing to their needs while her little wildflowers ran about having babies.
She often thought about having one herself and had long since embraced the idea that she would risk a child with Gersius. The arrival of Thayle's egg only made that desire more intense as she was now the only wife not to give him offspring. Deep down, she knew her motives were cowardly, as she wanted to wait and see how Lilly's child turned out. If it was free of the curse, she would eagerly seek to bear him a child, but if it was cursed….
Sarah let out a rumbling sigh. If the child turned out to be cursed, Sarah would not risk one of her own. She had already suffered the pain of losing her broodlings to Solesta's madness and killed one of them herself. After trying and failing with Rose, she wasn't prepared to suffer that pain again. Her heart was full of regret, especially for her children, but Lilly offered a strange ray of hope.
Lilly had successfully gone into the dream and navigated to the valley to see her egg. To her surprise, a poor copy of their home was sitting in the valley, and inside it was Rose. Lilly insisted she had found her crying, and when confronted, Rose demanded to know why she hurt inside. Lilly explained that she had asked Thayle this very question when the first true pains of love gripped her heart.
Could Rose be feeling love? If so, for who? Was it her mother? Sarah didn’t dare allow herself to believe such a thing for the painful emotions it stirred in her own heart. Out of hope, she went into the dream as often as she could and scoured the valley, desperate to find Rose herself. However, her efforts had thus far been to no avail.
Lilly believed that Rose was still feeling the lingering effects of emotion but that Solesta's curse would soon drown it out. If only she would come back and talk to Sarah. Maybe they could figure something out. She thought about asking Rose to go back to Numidel's temple and hide behind the protective seal. Then her mind would be clear again, and maybe they could reach her. Unfortunately, it was a vain hope because it all relied on Rose reaching out to them, which wasn't likely to happen.
Now she sat in the rain at the edge of the camp, looking at the distant northern mountains. The peaks were hidden in the dark clouds that brought the cleansing rain to a land that needed healing. Sarah also needed healing, and she relished the rain for the first time in thousands of years.
“Sarah?” Lilly called as she walked up in her dragon form and sat before the powerful ancient.
“Child, what are you doing out here?” Sarah asked as she looked down at the younger dragon.
“I wanted to be with you,” Lilly replied and waited anxiously.
Sarah nodded and lifted a wing so Lilly could climb underneath and snuggle in. She folded the wind over the little dragon as Lilly poked her head out from underneath and looked up.
“I wanted to ask you something,” Lilly said. “What do you know about the Earth, Mother?”
Sarah tried not to react to the question as it had been asked several times before. Lilly had been spending a great deal of time with Ayawa of late and coming back with questions about Ayawa’s beliefs, especially the earth mother.
“I only ask because Ayawa doesn't actually know very much,” Lilly insisted as she read Sarah's thoughts. “Yet it is so important to her.”
“Her people's entire way of life is based on her worship,” Sarah replied. “But to be honest, I don't know much about her either. She isn't traditionally considered a divine by the dragons. She is more of a force of nature, hidden behind the veil and rarely seen.”
“But she has to be a divine,” Lilly insisted. “What else could she be?”
“Child, do not forget that she is also known as the one who sleeps,” Sarah replied and lowered her head to loom over Lilly. “And do not forget that when the divines went too far, she woke up. It was her wrath that sent the divines fleeing for their lives and shook the world to its foundations. This means she is above them, but then there was always a being above them.”
“There are more?” Lilly asked with wide eyes as Sarah's comments struck her.
“I told you long ago that Balisha and Solesta were relatively new. There were once twelve primary divines, and they all bowed to a thirteenth who was their head. She was known as Estaisha and had been considered the divine head of all dragons.”
“Why do you say it like she is gone?” Lilly asked.
“Because she is,” Sarah replied. “She hasn’t been heard of or seen in thousands of years.”
“Could she have been the earth mother?” Lilly pressed as her mind wandered. Sarah read those thoughts to see that Lilly was trying to figure out where the earth mother was. She believed the entity should be reachable, and her absence might mean she was gone.
“Why are you so interested in Ayawa’s culture?” Sarah asked. “And why are you spending so much time with her?”
“I….” Lilly began and then swallowed. “I was trying to learn so I could understand people better. I still don’t think I fully understand this principle of honor or why it is so important.”
“Child, we have explained this to you many times,” Sarah sighed. “You have been struggling with this ever since the duel with Ayawa's people. I have told you they used this principle to try and trap you into making a bad decision. You made that bad decision, and if not for Ayawa evoking her right as your mother, we might be waging a violent and brutal war in the south right now.”
“But that didn’t happen, and you just explained my point,” Lilly insisted. “I was bullied into making a bad decision because I didn’t understand all this honor talk. I know you have explained it to me, but I struggle to understand how it makes sense. You keep your word, do good by others, try to cause no harm, and show respect. If you ask me, it could all be summed up by saying love others.”
“I suppose you could say it that way,” Sarah agreed. “But you understand love far better than I do.”
“And you understand honor better than I do,” Lilly countered. “People say Gersius is a good, honorable man because of the choices he has made. That day he walked out alone to face that army, and the divines showed they stood behind him is brought up all the time when people say how honorable he is.”
“The choices you make reflect what is going on inside,” Sarah replied. “It isn't enough to say I am a good person, or you should trust me because I am trustworthy. Anybody can say those things of themselves, and boasting about how honorable you are is often seen as dishonorable. It is the choices you make that have tangible effects that will show who you really are. The humans have a saying that you can tell a tree by its fruit.”
“So Gersius has done tangible good things?” Lilly asked.
“Yes, child,” Sarah said. “Gersius has proven his honor time and time again. He has also been willing to take great personal risks for the sake of others, even those who stand against him. Yes, there are many who think he is a traitor and a destroyer, but those people believe in a lie, and lies can be a poison to one's heart. When you strongly believe in something that isn't true, it clouds your judgment. You see everything around through the light of that lie and often it blinds you to anything that might prove the lie to be untrue.”
“Is that why some people still fear us?” Lilly asked. “Because they were told we are coming to eat them?”
“That and we are dragons,” Sarah said. “Our size and natural appearance as a predator makes them uneasy. But I ask you again, why are you still struggling with this?” She waited for her answer as Lilly tried to articulate what she was thinking. Sarah dared to look into her thoughts to see a conflict of love going on.
“I think it is because many of the principles of honor are covered by love. One who loves does these things naturally and does not need this honor to force them. However, in my observation, many people who speak of honor have no love or empathy. You said so yourself; the southern tribes used honor as a weapon and believed they had the right to invade our lands because we had no honor. Even the Raven guard spoke of honor as they committed their atrocities.”
Sarah had to think about Lilly's response as it was filled with the power of truth. Many cultures claimed a strong code of conduct and cultural heritage that established their honor. Yet they often looked on anyone who didn't share that code of conduct or heritage as honorless. The concept was as fluid as the waters of the sea, changing in every people, region, and culture to mean something different.
“I can see your thoughts,” Lilly replied. “I didn’t mean to make you upset.”
“I am not upset,” Sarah replied. “I am simply trying to grasp the truth of what you said. You are right. The honor our family holds dear is strongly based on love and the belief that all people are worthy. However, this is not true of other cultures, and people like the Doan believe that conquest is a way to prove one's honor. Many human kings feel the same way that to prove themselves, they must defeat an enemy.”
“So, how do you overcome the differences in belief?” Lilly asked. “If one people's honor offends another people's honor, how do you find peace?”
“You have to be willing to learn of the other people's ways, and as much as you can adhere to their principles while in their lands,” Sarah replied.
“But we don't try to do this with the Doan?” Lilly asked.
Sarah groaned as she silently scolded herself over that response. Lilly had mentioned multiple times that they should try to speak to the Doan. Of course, people had already tried many times, and it ended the same way. The Doan didn't care for outsiders, and the emissaries were either killed or enslaved. Lilly knew this but now held on to the belief that if a dragon went, the Doan might listen. Rose made it clear the Doan were favorable to dragons, and Lilly thought that might give them a chance to reason with them.
“Wouldn’t it?” Lilly asked as the rain drizzled down from Sarah’s chin.
“Must you always read our thoughts?” Sarah asked and then went back to the question. “I suppose you are correct that it might cause them to pause long enough to listen, but I wouldn’t go so far as to say we could reason with them. Not to mention they may obey other dragons, but that doesn’t mean they would tolerate us. We are the enemy, and they kill their enemies.”
“I know, but I can't help but feel we should try,” Lilly insisted. “Gersius speaks about them as if they are a proud and honorable people, so why can't we find a way to talk?”
“Our husband speaks of them like that because he is a good man. He likes to see the traits in people he respects while trying to overlook their faults. This is why he makes a good emperor because he tries to lift people up and encourage them to be good. He removes those who prove they can't be trusted and makes examples only when they are necessary,” Sarah said, then lowered her head so close to Lilly their noses almost touched. “So he doesn't hate the Doan, but he understands that they do not show him the same respect. They respect military might and a will to fight. He intends to show them we have both. Maybe they will be open to talking after they have been bloodied, but even then, I suspect they will not.”
“But we know the Doan are being driven into this war by the dragons,” Lilly insisted. “Is it right to slaughter them when they are only doing what we dragons tell them to?”
Sarah leaned in closer and reached out with her great tongue to lick the side of Lilly's neck. She cherished this loving nature that Lilly was beginning to show more frequently. In many ways, she was becoming a bit more like Thayle, seeking the simpler pleasures in life while abhorring the more violent ones.
“I wish I could answer that in a way that would soothe your heart,” Sarah said sadly. “But the fact is you are right. This is a matter that should be settled between us dragons. However, our ancient methods did not survive the war, and our foes believe you and I are lost. They would not sit down to discuss their grievances with us. They have made it clear that they will not allow Balisha's faith to return to the world. Also, from what you have learned in the recovery of the seals, they do not necessarily care about restoring Solesta either.”
“Rose still thinks that is what they plan to do,” Lilly said. “But the man Gersius fought made it sound like that wasn’t the plan. But, if that isn’t their plan, what is? Why would it matter if Balisha returned if they didn’t plan to restore Solesta somehow?”
“Child, I don't know,” Sarah said. “But we do know that they have been planning this for years. The trap they used to ensnare me is proof they knew Gersius would rise and that they had to stop him. They have layers of traps set for him, each more deadly than the one before. That he has come through this far is a miracle, especially considering he would be dead if not for you.”
Lilly looked down, and Sarah could see her reliving the pain of watching Gersius die. The thought of using the gold to power a massive heal spell was instantaneous. She never once considered using the gold to be a waste, and she didn't think it now.
“You are truly something special,” Sarah said and gently tried to nuzzle the little blue dragon. “I am so blessed to call you my wife.”
Lilly sighed and leaned into Sarah as she looked up, the rain falling from their heads. Sarah could see the pain in her aura and feel it over the bind. They both wanted the war to end, the empire to find peace, and to finally build their home in the valley. Even as they shared that thought, they also understood that the responsibility to the empire took precedence. If the war ended tomorrow, it would still be many years before they could attempt to build their home.”
“I'm sorry,” Sarah said as she felt Lilly's disappointment. “I wish it could be another way, but always remember, this conflict is what brought us together. Maybe the divines have a plan we haven't seen yet.” She was pleased to see that Lilly did brighten at that notion and was even more moved when Lilly began to lick her back. Sarah held her face still as Lilly licked across her chin and snout, showing affection in a way only a dragon could.
“Child,” Sarah said softly. “I feel you are still burdened.”
“I can't accept that there is no way to reach the Doan. Surely we have enough in common to find a way to peace,” Lilly insisted. “Can what separates us really be so great that we can't stop the fighting before it becomes a slaughter?”
“Why don't we go into the dream together,” Sarah said after a few minutes of Lilly's affection. “There is something I want to show you, and maybe we can find Rose together.”
“Do you think so?” Lilly asked as her aura glowed with hope.
“I am supposed to be on guard, but I believe you and I need some time alone as dragons,” Sarah said, then focused her words into thoughts. “Husband, I need to speak with you,” she said silently over the bind.
“I am here,” he replied in a voice she could hear in her head.
“Lilly and I need to spend some time together in the dream. I feel she needs me as a dragon, and it cannot wait,” Sarah insisted.
“I will ask Shadros to take over watching the skies,” Gersius replied. “Will you two be gone long?”
“I am not certain how long it will take,” Sarah replied. “It all depends on her.”
“That sounds very cryptic,” Thayle cut in. “Is Lilly alright?”
“I am fine,” Lilly replied. “I just wanted to be with Sarah.”
“Then go,” Gersius urged. “But let me know the moment you are back.”
Sarah smiled down at the little blue dragon and urged her to move completely under her wing to sleep. Lilly moved back and curled into a tight loop, nestled into the side of the warm red dragon. Sarah curled around her and lay her head on the wet grass. The rain helped to soothe her many thoughts, making her slip into the dream almost effortless. She waited for Lilly to fall asleep and, as soon as she could feel her, drew the little dragon into the dream.
Sarah smiled with some pleasure as Lilly opened her eyes and gasped. She looked around at a loss for words and then had to turn to Sarah, unable to communicate what she was seeing.
“Are you well, child?” Sarah asked as she stood tall and bold on a large tower. Before them was a sweeping landscape where a magnificent city stood glittering in the sunlight. Narrow towers reached into the skies and were capped by stunning roofs in blue, gold, silver, green, and red. There was something familiar about the place whose tall walls looked formidable. Large banners flew from many of the structures, featuring a golden background with a silver moon over which was the symbol of two dragons intertwined.
Lilly was captivated by the size of the city that spread beyond those massive walls into the surrounding land to a second wall. There were statues of white stone that stood taller than some of the buildings, many of which featured dragons. Above the city was what looked like a mountain top cleaved off and turned over. A massive temple was on the top, capped by twelve banners in various colors. Lilly didn't know where to look at the scene filled her heart with wonder. The city was surrounded by rings of forest and farmland. Water canals were laid out in the rings creating a garden-like effect that went on for miles.
“Where is this place?” Lilly gasped.
“Why, don’t you recognize it?” Sarah asked and waved a hand. “This is Calathen.”
“This is Calathen?” Lilly asked in a gasp.
“Yes, child, as it looked over five thousand years ago when dragons and men cooperated,” Sarah explained. “This is a small portion of what we achieved together.” Sarah pointed to the floating structure high above the city and explained that it was a temple to all the divines, including Balisha and Solesta. “It was in that temple that a dragon knelt before Balisha and asked for the blessing to bare a child with her human lover.”
“What happened to that temple?” Lilly asked as she couldn’t imagine where it could have gone.
“Child, do you not wonder why the land around Calathen is so stony?” Sarah asked. “It was shattered when it exploded and rained down on the city and surrounding lands. The farms and forests burned to ash, and the people who survived threw the rubble into the canals. By the time any serious rebuilding began, there were barely enough people to inhabit half of the inner city.”
“How terrible,” Lilly replied and looked around to see all sorts of wonderous buildings, many large enough to stand on like they were doing now.
“These are called nah'usta in our tongue,” Sarah said. “The humans called them dragon roosts. They were built for us to land on and survey the landscape. Much of what was built was made intentionally to accommodate us. For example, Look at the mountain in the center of the city. Do you see anything different?”
“It’s taller,” Lilly said as she looked closer. “And the palace isn’t even close to the peak.
“Did you never wonder why the palace had such large terrace gardens?” Sarah asked. “You said so yourself that they were large enough for even me to land on. That is exactly what they were for. The whole mountain palace was originally a home built for dragons. The terraces were landing places for dragons, and the inner halls were meant to provide living spaces for our human forms. We worked so closely with the humans that they walked among us with admiration and not fear.”
“I wish I could have seen this,” Lilly said as a tear wet her eye. “I can’t believe this is gone.”
“Better you didn't live to see this,” Sarah said. “It haunts me even to call this image from my memory. Trust me; I am not doing it justice in this representation. The splendor and power of the things we built is hard to describe. Dragons have no end of strength and power, while humans have no end of imagination and creativity. Together we were able to do things that one would only attribute to the divines themselves.”
“And now it’s all gone,” Lilly said.
“I brought you here to see this because I want you to understand something,” Sarah said as she looked down at Lilly. “The dragon war didn't destroy all this.”
“It didn’t?” Lilly asked curiously. “Then what did?”
Sarah leaned in close, her eyes blazing intently as Lilly stepped back. “I have tried to tell you, but you have not understood. This magnificent city was destroyed by the earth mother. She who sleeps was woken up by the slaughter, and when she saw what we were doing, she went mad with anger. Her rage shook the land, and the divines who dared to walk the world fled back to the heavens and tried to hide. She decreed that they would never set foot on the land again and then turned her anger on us. She cursed the land, causing the foul creatures to spring forth and changed the very shape of the world. Mountains fell only to rise up in other places. Cities fell into the seas while islands appeared in other places. Rives dried up and other lands flooded, and all was in chaos. So thick was the ash in the air from terrible fires that almost a whole year went by where humans could not grow food. Many who survived the war and the rage of the earth mother starved to death later.”
“So the earth mother is bad?” Lilly asked.
“No, child,” Sarah said softly. “She is just what her name says. She is the mother of us all, and she woke up to find her children violently fighting. She punished us for our disobedience and went back to sleep, hopefully, to stay that way for a long time to come.” Lilly looked back to the city and took a few minutes to take it all in.
“Why did you want me to see this?” Lilly asked.
“Because this is what your love will bring about,” Sarah replied. “This is the original dream of Solesta and Balisha, but for one minor difference in opinion, it was all lost. When two sides strongly believe that not only are they the ones who are right but that the other side is a threat for holding an alternate opinion, conflict is inevitable.”
Lilly nodded as she understood Sarah’s point finally. Sarah relented on the little dragon and focused her thoughts, taking Lilly to the valley. They arrived near the south end to stand before the odd tree that grew all by itself for some unexplained reason.
“Will we ever live here?” Lilly asked.
“Yes,” Sarah replied firmly. “We all will, despite what you have seen in our husband's dreams.” Sarah made that point with a firm glare at Lilly to show she expected Lilly to believe it. She was surprised when Lilly told her about the new dream and, more importantly, the baby in Sarah's arms.
“I was holding a baby?” Sarah asked, her mind reeling at the thought.
“A human baby,” Lilly replied. “I know it was your child because there was red hair on its head.”
Sarah drew a nervous breath as a myriad of thoughts competed for her attention. Was this proof that the children would be primarily human? Did it mean it was safe to breed with Gersius now? Was the child a boy or a girl?
“I don’t know,” Lilly replied, reminding Sarah she was listening.
Sarah suggested they begin walking and talk about this new dream. Lilly described all three children and how she now questioned what she believed. Sarah was happy to hear that her mind had changed and suggested that she hold on to that image. She was about to ask if Lilly planned to have more children when she looked over the next hill and froze.
“Is something wrong?” Lilly asked as she looked up.
Sarah felt her heart begin to race as her height allowed her to see what Lilly could not.
“Lilly!” Sarah said excitedly. “The house is here!”
