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DKP 8-21 healing the past
🕑 Added 2022-08-05 18:38:39 +0000 UTCGersius held Sarah in his arms as they sat in the meeting tent. Around them, a war camp was being erected as his army positioned itself between Calathen and the border keeps. They flew out the very same day Rose left, with a grieving Sarah crying as she carried them across the sky. She was emotionally harmed beyond his ability to comfort her, both in the loss of her lifelong friend in Numidel and the child they had.
They failed to win Rose to their side, but something had changed. Gersius was very alarmed to learn Sarah promised to let the woman kill her if she really did hate her. It seemed like she was about to do just that when Lilly spoke and reminded her of the egg. Something about that brought Rose back and caused her to rethink what she was about to do. Rose then plucked a nearby flower of the same name, handing it to her mother. She then bade her mother to forget her as she took to the sky and flew away.
Thayle and Lilly explained the significance of the flower later and how Rose must have felt some guilt for not giving Sarah one earlier. It meant that despite the curse, something inside the dragon had changed, but it wasn’t enough to keep her here.
Sarah desperately wanted her to come back, but she knew the truth. Rose was likely going to die on a future battlefield against them, and Sarh would blame herself. Gersius could do nothing but be there to keep her safe while she cried out all the pain.
Three whole days had passed since then, and the shuffling of armies had begun. Gersius would form up the weakest army in the center while the true force marched west. Now the camp was nearly complete, and Sarah’s logistics wagons were already coming. Soon her train of supplies would reach Gams, and he would be able to push west with a vastly bolstered army and continuous flow of supplies.
Thayle had done as much as she could for Sarah, pointing out that Rose had changed. Despite the curse, she couldn't bring herself to kill her mother, and the flower was her way of saying I remember. Thayle wanted to be at Sarah’s side more, but duty kept pulling her away. She had to organize the vast numbers of the followers of Ulustrah that made up the bulk of the camp, and that took time. Thankfully Mingfe was with them to help things go smoothly, and so Thayle had somebody she trusted to talk to.
Lilly also spent a great deal of time at Sarah’s side while she grieved with her. She noted that in the last few weeks, Sarah had suffered loss after loss. Numidel, then the terrible magical curse, then her daughter, one after the other. It was like Sarah had been singled out for pain and torment, and Lilly was troubled by it. She loved Sarah with a kind of Love Gersius was shocked to see. He never dreamed two women could look at each other as if they would die without the other, but that was how Lilly and Sarah looked at each other. Lilly’s love for her family was so absolute and intense that it put human love to shame. It was a facet of being a dragon, and her dragon power radiated through that love to all of them.
She spent time with Sarah, but she spent an equal amount of time with Tavis, Ayawa, and Gedris. She practiced dueling with Gedris and spent hours confiding in Ayawa, who she openly and honestly addressed as mother. Ayawa seemed distressed about it, or something else she wasn’t discussing, but Gersius didn’t have time to address it. He had too many things to organize and new soldiers arriving all the time. Hopefully, his army would be ready when the time came, but he worried it would not. Thankfully Alayse and Jessivel were riding together; there much-expanded cavalry approaching from the east to reinforce them.
He sat on the edge of the bed with his broken wife in his arms, stroking her beautiful red hair. Hopefully, this wound would close soon and, in time, might actually heal. He thought of the road ahead and the challenges they might face, hoping Sarah would be strong enough to stand at his side.
Elsewhere in the camp, Thayle was meeting with the heads of her army, going over the details of the march and how they would be deployed. Mingfe was present as it was her company that made up the bulk of the women. Thayle described how they hoped to avoid combat until their numbers were bolstered with troops called from provinces. As she went over the details of how she wanted to continue with combat training, she suddenly doubled over, squeezing her stomach in pain.
The women were alarmed as Mingfe ran to Thayle’s side, helping her stay on her feet. Thyale shuddered as her stomach was torn with pain, and she leaned into Mingfe for support.
“What has happened? Your aura is filled with fear,” Mingfe said as she placed her hands on Thayle.
“It’s just a stomach ache,” Thayle insisted and tried to straighten but found it more painful.
Mingfe began to sing for healing, but nothing came, proving that the cause was not in injury. When that failed, she helped Thayle to a nearby chair to sit as several of the other commanders looked on in concern.
“I have tried to heal you, but this is not an injury,” Mingfe said. “I would say you are fine, butyou are clearly in pain.”
“It goes away in a minute,” Thayle sighed and leaned back. “The priests of Vellis have already looked at it, and Tavis checked me for weaves.”
“So this has happened before?” Mingfe asked in concern. “How many times?”
“It happens almost every day,” Thayle replied as the pain subsided. “And it is almost gone.”
“You are not well,” Mingfe insisted. “There must be a cause that hasn’t been discovered.”
“I am telling you I am fine,” Thayle insisted.
“If you were fine, you would not have doubled over in pain,” Mingfe countered, her dark eyes taking on a penetrating look as the dark skin of her forehead creased. “If you are not ill or under magical attack then it must be something natural.” She paused while trying to consider the options before settling on the only one that made sense. “Are you pregnant?”
“What? No, I am not pregnant,” Thayle countered as she felt a twinge of doubt that was seen in the light of her aura. “We are very careful about the timing, and you can tell I am not showing.”
“It might not show yet,” Mingfe suggested as she noted the doubt.
“I am not pregnant,” Thayle insisted with a voice that sounded final.
“So your flow is regular?” the woman pressed.
Thayle went to say yes but paused to reconsider. Her flow was not regular, and she had missed the last two. In fact she hadn’t had one since that night with Gersius, where they took the risk and made love when they shouldn’t have. When she missed the first one she was sure it meant she was pregnant, but none of the other signs followed. When she missed the second month she started to check but nothing else hinted at a pregnancy. She even went so far as to pray about it, but no vision or answer followed. She was nearly three months in and nothing had changed which left her convinced that it hadn’t worked.
Now she even wondered if maybe she couldn’t get pregnant. Perhaps that was why Ulustrah hadn’t answered because knowing would cause her pain. Another possibility was Lilly’s cycle might be affecting her over the bind. Lilly could only become pregnant once a year, and maybe that timing had been imposed on her.
She admitted to missing her last two periods, but explained other concerns. Mingfe listed to with sympathy while nodding at Thayle’s points. She asked if Thayle truly believed she might inherit Lilly’s timing, and Thayle was sure it was possible. She had already inherited so many things she never believed possible. She reminded them that she could turn into a blend of human and dragon to illustrate her point.
“I understand how you must feel,” Mingfe agreed. “But considering the pains and the timing, you must be pregnant,” she insisted.
“I am not pregnant,” Thayle countered and stood up so everyone in the room could see. “If I was three months along, you would see it by now. Not to mention I have none of the other signs.”
“We all understand that, buthow do you explain the absence of your time?” Mingfe asked.
“I have missed a month before,” Thayle countered. “Nearly every woman has.”
“But two in a row?” Mingfe replied, trying to sound sympathetic. “At the very least, this might be a symptom of your problem.”
“It’s is probably Lilly’s influence,” Thayle insisted.
“I want to believe that,” Mingfe replied with a look of sympathy. “But it is a very unlikely reason. Surely their must be a better explanation.”
“Stress,” Thayle insisted. “And who could blame me? Poor Sarah has been beaten down at every turn while Lilly cries over the dragons. They both fill the binding with painand dreams of the home Gersius wants to build. Not to mention that husband of ours buries his pain so deep it takes me hours to get the littlest bit out. I have all I can manage just trying to keep them emotionally strong without having to lead the armies of Ulustrah.”
“You have a lot on your shoulders,” Mingfe agreed. “I am not sure I could walk the path you do. To carry the burden of such a family, and the responsibility of leading an empire and a faith.”
“And you know what the worst part of it all is?” Thayle said as she looked down. “All I want is time for myself. I know people need me, but I just want to slip away and see the skies again.”
“I don’t understand?” Mingfe replied.
“The dragon form,” Thayle said. “We learned how to fly, and then it all got so busy I have never had a chance to do it again. I want to take my dragon form and fly with my own wings through the sky and forget about the war and everything else. I want to look down on it all as if it doesn’t matter to me.”
“That soundsvery much like a dragon,” Mingfe said cautiously. “Shadros talks like that all the time. He desires to detach himself from our ways and fly above it all. Are you sure their influence isn’t changing you more than just in appearance?”
“Of course, it’s changing me,” Thayle countered. “How could it not? I see gold, and I feel an urge to gather it. I have discovered I love the smell of cooked meats, and when Gersius takes his dragon form, I feel a very strong need to mate.”
A few laughs reminded them that they were not alone, so Thayle covered her face with one hand.
“Come now; we are all trusted here,” Mingfe urged as she shot the women a glare that told them to be silent. “Besides, I might need to know this before I start to fee it. Shadros has been very affectionate lately.”
“You nearly died,” Thayle said. “I bet that made him realize how important you were to him.”
“I am sure it has opened his eyes. But there is something more. He has a need to be a part of me,” Mingfe explained. “Their are times when I can’t get out of his arms. He needs to hold on to me as if I might vanish if he let me go.”
“Lilly gets like that,” Thayle sighed. “She gets very emotional, and then she needs to be in somebodies arms. She wants Gersius because it’s usually him who triggers it. He gets so busy that she starts to miss him and then craves his affection. If she can’t get him she clings to me and cries.”
“That women’s emotions are stronger than anyone I have ever known,” Mingfe agreed, but to get back on topic, I am worried about your condition. I understand that you believe it is stress, but we cannot overlook that the enemey has resorted to very unique means to get at you. The headaches were overlooked until it was nearly too late. I pray this isn’t a warning of something more.”
“I have had the most powerful healers and weavers we have look me over. None of them found any cause to be alarmed,” Thayle replied. “The priests of Vellis even suggested I was glowing with health.”
“Hmm,” Mingfe replied as she looked to the other women to see if they had anything to offer.
“Maybe this is some kind of dragon change going on inside,” one of them offered. “Perhaps her womb is changing to be more like Lilly’s and these pains will subside when it is complete.”
“I think that is most likely the answer,” Thayle agreed. “The pain never lasts more than a minute.”
“It would explain the absence of her flow,” another chimed in. “If she were evolving to be like the dragons it would happen but once a year.”
“I suppose we have to consider this a possibility,” Mingfe agreed. “I am sorry for be so insistent that this was unlikely.”
“It’s fine,” Thayle replied with a wave and stood up. “The pain is gone now. Why don’t we go over how we intend to deploy your company in a full on battle.”
Mingfe nodded in agreement but deep down she didn’t believe things were fine. Something more was at play, and its secret was starting to manifest as pain. She would keep an eye on Thayle and pry to the goddess for guidance while the secret was uncovered.
Lilly went to see Tavis and Ayawa to find Tavis dueling with Gedris, but Ayawa was absent. She waited patiently for them to finish, as Tavis used his dual swords to press Gedris into the defense while encouraging her to push back.
“Your reach is to great,” Gedris groaned as she tried to get closer but was thwarted by Tavis at every turn.
“You have to put the speed of your weapons to use,” Tavis urged.
“How can I do that when you keep stabbing at me?” Gedris argued as her shoulder length hair dancing about while she tried to get around his defense.
That mischievious smile spread as he pretended to leave an opening drawing poor Gedris in. Lilly know it was a trap because Gersius did it to her all the time. Gedris took the bait and in seconds she was disarmed with a sword at her throat.
“I am never going to be good at this,” Gedris groaned.
“Don’t let Ayawa hear you say that,” Tavis laughed. “Unless you enjoy being switched.”
“Maybe I do,” Gedris replied with a funny smile then turned to see Lilly.
“Hello, Lilly,” she called with a wave. “How is Sarah?”
“She is still hurting,” Lilly replied with sadness. “She misses Rose with all her heart.”
“I am sure Rose will come back,” Gedris said encouragingly. “She probably needed some time to think.”
“I am not so sure,” Lilly said. “I know how I felt under the curse. It influences the way you see the world. I could never have embraced this life without the bind.”
“Then perhaps the divines will find a way to bind her,” Gedris offered. “So she can learn to love as strongly as you do.”
Lilly hoped that was true but it was more likely Rose would be an enemy next time they encountered her. It was more reason for Lilly to desire a solution for the dragons. Some way to break the curse for all of them so they could see what they were missing. She hated the idea of another dragon dying in this terrible war, especially when their were so few of them left. She prayed to Balisha about it frequently, offering to do anything to save them.
“Are you here to see Ayawa?” Tavis asked as Lilly thought about her desire to save her kind.
“I was,” Lilly replied and looked about. “Is she nearby?”
“She went out into the woods to do some meditating,” Tavis said. “She likes to spend some time alone and commune with the natural world from time to time. She says her people used to do something like it to speak the earth mother. I suppose she is hoping to rediscover how they did it.”
Lilly knew the story of Ayawa’s people and there once special connection to the divine known only as the earth mother. Thanks to Rose Lilly now knew that the dragons revered her to some extent, but saw her as a force of punishment. It was the earth mother who tore the world asunder as punishment when the dragons went to war the first time. Rose seemed to believe that restoring Balisha would cause it to happen again by waking the sleeping mother. Lilly couldn’t see how gentle Balisha could be the cause of such a calamity. All Balisha wanted was for dragons to have the choice to live meaningful lives. How was that such a crime against she who sleeps?
“You are welcome to wait here for her to come back?” Gedris offered with a smile. “I would love to talk to you about dragons some more.”
Lilly liked that Gedris was so interested in dragons and entertained the notion that they would have been perfect for Rose. Just thinking about it reminded her of how Rose had given her a new appreciation for family. The realization that they had a daughter affected them all and Lilly now wanted strong ties with every member of her family. That included Ayawa who was symbolically her mother through an ancient tradition of her people.
“I really want to talk to Ayawa,” Lilly explained. “Rose said some things about the earth mother and it got me thinking about the things Ayawa said about her people.”
“Well, if you want to find her, you need to go east of the camp into the thick tree,” Tavis said. “But I wouldn’t leave camp without an escort if I were you.”
“Gersius says I shouldn’t leave the camp at all,” Lilly sighed. “But I think I will be fine, besides I would like to speak to her alone anyway.”
“Well, good luck then,” Tavis said as he tipped his hat.
Lilly smile and headed off, hoping to find the elusive woman. Her isolation suited her better as she had something delicate she wanted to discuss. Despite their time together Ayawa still held reservations about her relationship with Gersius. Lilly knew the story of how her people suffered in the first war, loosing their history and cultural identity. She was taught from a child to mourn over what her people lost, so that this ancient fall was a part of her being. Now they stumbled around blindly trying to recover some shred of what they lost.
Lilly headed through the camp, waving to people who called out in greeting or bowed as they called her their empress. Lilly always smiled to see humans acknowledging her place as their ruler. It was some part of her dragon nature that enjoyed the supplication. Still, she deeply cared about these people and would fight to protect them.
As she exited the camp she was pleased to wade through the waist high grass, her white dress flowing in a gentle breeze. Their was so much of the world that a dragon simply couldn’t enjoy, but for a human it was a delight to the senses. She thought about the dragon curse and how she wouldn’t have cared about these sensations. She would have declared them to be a sign of weakness, a flaw that proved humans were inferior. She realized that Rose was feeling that now, thinking back on what she learned in the valley and denouncing it as weakness. Still, she held out hope that Rose would find some path to the truth and might come back to get answers.
She made her way across the sea of green into the distant trees of a forest. Here she felt more at home, as she welcomed the sense of isolation. She might love her family but she was still a dragon at heart, and being surrounded by people at all times was a bit frustrating. She made her way into the shadows under the canopy of green, taking in the earthy scents of the forest. It was alive with distant sounds as birds chirped and unseen animals scurried about. Were they far to the north in the wilds she wouldn’t dare to walk here alone, for fear some beast would attack. However, this was deep in the heart of her empire and these lands had long since been tamed.
There was no path to follow, but Lilly still had a keen sense of smell. It wasn’t as strong in her human form but it was enough to pick up the passage of the woman she sought. A few moments later she found Ayawa in a copse of trees, kneeling before a small stream. Their was a low fire burning nearby producing a thick sweet smoke. Lilly enjoyed the substance humans called incense, marveling that they even enjoy the experience of scent. She knew Ayawa had a special blend made from specific plants that she used to meditate.
“I know you are their,” Ayawa called, even though she had her back to Lilly. “Why have you come here?”
“What are you doing?” Lilly asked as she dared to approach.
“I am trying to meditate and restore my balance,” Ayawa replied.
“Why?” Lilly asked innocently as she closed the distance.
“A sigh escaped Ayawa’s lips as her shoulders sank a little.
“I would not expect you to understand,” she said and turned to face Lilly. “You dragons do not share our connection to the world.”
Lilly frowned as she folded her arms and came to a halt to glare at the arrogant woman. She knew that a lot of people considered her naive and maybe she was as far as human matters were concerned. However, her ways had proven to be right time and time again and Ayawa should not be so critical.
“I wanted to talk to you about people,” Lilly said firmly. “Gersius and Thayle tell me your people used to have have priests of the earth mother that you called shaman. Gedris said you could see and speak to the spirit of the earth.”
“That was a long time ago,” Ayawa replied as her aura filled with loss. She was thinking of how far her people had fallen and feeling the pain of it. “Why are you bringing it up now?”
“Rose spoke to use about the earth mother,” Lilly replied. “She made it seem as if the dragons both reveared and feared her. That means she is important to dragons somehow and you are the only one I know who can tell me about her.”
“Their isn’t much to tell,” Ayawa said. “We know so very little about the role she played in our culture.”
“Gedris said your people used to be able to tap into her spirit, and that you had totem animals. She even said that your stories suggest you used to be able to change shape into these animals,” Lilly pressed.
“I see my wife has has decided to tell you all of my secrets,” Ayawa said with a scowl.
“We are family now,” Lilly replied and stared the woman down. “She is the wife of my mother and keeps no secrets from me. She told me your people lost the secret of how you did this. The more I learn about your culture the more I see why you carry a grudge against my kind.”
“I do not carry a grudge against you personally,” Ayawa insisted as she stood to face Lilly. “But I can’t deny that I am terrified that your union with Gersius might cause it to happen again. My people would say you two are harbingers of a second fall.”
“If you disprove of our relationship so strongly, why did you braid my hair and give me your crown?” Lilly asked.
Ayawa stood up and faced Lilly her eyes narrow and angry. “Despite my fears I am not blind, girl. I did that because I can see you love him,and Gersius needs your affection. For as long as I have known him that man has been hurting to have someone who loved him. I have never seen anyone have the kind of affect on him as you do. You two needed to be married so you could get past the pain that was keeping you apart. I did that to help you both. I may not approve of it, but I will not stand against it.”
“So I have your blessing to love Gersius?” Lilly asked.
Ayawa sighed and closed her eyes. “You had my blessing the day you rescued him on the road.”
Lilly nodded, satisfied that they had an understanding. Now she wanted to get to the reason for her visit and see if perhaps she could help Ayawa heal. “Tell me more about this power your people once had.”
“Why would you want to know about that?” Ayawa asked.
“Your people used to tap into the spirit? You used to shapeshift?” Lilly asked.
“You just told me that Gedris explained all that,” Ayawa pointed out.
“She told me that it was rumored you could do it, but I want to hear the details from you,” Lilly pressed. “Tell me what you know about it.”
Ayawa took a deep breath as her aura filled with annoyance. Lilly knew she didn’t want to have this conversation but she had no excuse to avoid it. She finally broke down and explained that only their shaman could change forms. It was part of their strong connection to the earth mother. Most people of her culture supposedly could tap into the earth mother to gain some measure of insight. However, only the shaman could channel the power directly. Lilly likened this to how regular humans could petition the divines and often gains some small measure of response. But only the priests could truly wield the power, working mighty blessing in the name of their god.
Ayawa explained how they used this connection to keep their people in balance. They never over hunted or farmed an area because the earth mother would guide their actions. She knew very little of how it was done except that it involved some kind of trance or meditation.
“So you knew how to listen to the solus.” Lilly replied.
Ayawa looked at her with confusion. “What is a solus?”
“It is the dragon word for spirit or soul,” Lilly explained “It is the very energy we draw on to change forms.” Lilly could tell by the look on Ayawa’s face she didn’t understand. “You do remember I can change shapes right?”
“Of course I do, girl. But why is that important?” Ayawa asked as she grew irritated.
Lilly felt a twinge of anger as she saw the irritation in Ayawa’s aura. She knew from Gedris that Ayawa’s people were proud and would not accept other faiths. Thus they never learned how those faith’s meditated to reach out to the divine. To them, anything outside their culture was to be scorned when many of those lessons might help them recover.
“Ayawa,” Lilly began as she tried not to speak harshly. “I know you’re people are proud, but a shape shifter stands right before you. Have you never thought to ask me how I did it? When you learned that Gersius and Thayle had gained a second shape, did it not make you think maybe I could teach you?”
Ayawa’s mouth fell open slightly as the thought now crawled through her mind. “I. I didn’t think it was related.”
“I shapeshift by tapping into my solus, what you call a spirit. I do the very thing you say your people lost. Don’t you think it might be related?” Lilly asked.
“I wasn’t sure how you did it. I assumed it was something unigue to dragons,” Ayawa stammered.
“Then why didn’t Gersius form change your mind?” Lilly asked. “Surely you must have begun to wonder?” She saw the blank look on Ayawa’s face as the woman finally began to question if the two were related. Lilly folded her arms and walked past Ayawa to stand across from the fire. She took a deep breath of the smoke and looked up a the woman again. “Gersius says we are going to hold here for three days. He says we are waiting for men coming from the north to meet us before we move on. You and I will meet here every day at this time. I am going to teach you what my mother taught me about feeling your solus. I will teach you to reconnect to this spirit you lost.”
“You can teach me?” Ayawa said her voice thin and weak.
“If you can learn then yes I can teach you. I had to be taught and I assume you do as well. When I come back tomorrow you will tell me all you know about your peoples connection. I will teach you how to connect to and speak to your solus. Then I will try to help you achieve the link your people once had. I am not familiar with your earth mother, but I can’t imagine it works any differently than any other divine.”
Ayawa cuppped her hand over her mouth when her stern lips began to quiver. She was finally beginning to see the possibility, that the secret might be the same as that of a dragons shape shifiting.
“Maybe you can help me with a lesson my mother tried to teach me but I never mastered,” Lilly said. “Sarah has promised to teach me herself, but she has been struggling with so much recently she hasn’t had time.”
“What is that?” Ayawa asked struggling to remain strong.
“It is a way to enter another world we dragons call the dream,” Lilly replied. “I do on accident a lot but Sarah can do it at will, and she can bring others with her. I think maybe you can master this skill too. Gedris said your people use to walk in the mists or something.” Lilly could see those words had struck Ayawa as her aura flared with confusion, excitement and doubt.
“My people called that spirit walking,” she said at last. “It was in the mists that we could speak to the earth mother.”
“Then you will help me practice it?” Lilly asked.
“I would be honored to try and help you,” Ayawa said in as strong a voice as she could muster.
“Good, then maybe together we can learn more. I will do what I can to teach you the things I know and maybe put on the path to recovering some of what your people lost.” Lilly looked down at the little fire and pleasing smelling smoke that drifted in the wind. “Bring more of what ever that is. I like the smell of it.”
Ayawa smiled and gave Lilly a nod as tears filled her eyes. “I will bring plenty.”
