lopoddity
patreon
Boys Will Be Boys (Very Rough Draft)
🕑 Added 2019-10-06 18:30:26 +0000 UTCa rough outline draft of the accompanying story for Boys Will Be Boys. As always, feedback and critique is greatly appreciated! Trigger warning for homophobic and sexist language, bullying, physical abuse, and blood.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Moony is scoping out the school exit. He needs to get through to get to dance class, but there's unsavory types out there he'd rather avoid. Bruce Carcharodon and Huck Hoofield, a match made in Tarturus. He's been waiting for them to leave, but they don't seem to have anywhere to need to be. If he waits any longer, he'll miss dance class.
Huck has a big stupid crush on Magnolia May. "Hey, what'dyou reckon my chances are askin' Magnolia May out to the spring fling?"
"Don't stand a snowballs chance in hell, idiot. Rumor is she got caught behind the schoolhouse with 'er tongue halfway down some girl's throat. She's a bloody rugmuncher. "
"Aww, what?" Huck whined. "Y'don't think it's just a phase, do ya?" He tapped his chin, frowning. "Fine. Alright. T'ain't a problem for me. If'n she likes ladies, I can be a lady for her." Tosses his long mane over his shoulders coyishly, bats eyelashes at Bruce. "How do I look, darlin'?"
Bruce snickers, not entirely unkindly. "Hideous."
"Well, I think I'm purty." Huck scoffs, shaking his mane back into place. "'Least I've putting in some overtime chasin' skirts, Carcharodon. Ain't see you with a girl in months. What's your excuse?"
Bruce scowled. "I-"
Moondancer walks past, head held high. "Gentlemen." He gives them a faint scrap of acknowledgement, hoping they'll let him go about his day. they don't
Bruce “ey, look. Reckon the pride parade’s back in town.”
“Ease off, Carcharodon.” Huck says coolly. “That ain’t no way to talk to a lady. How’s it hangin’, Tallulah?”
“Terrible. I’m being forced to talk to two yokels who can’t fathom a funnier punchline than me being a mare. Get better material, Huckleberry.” Moondancer deliberately emphasized Huck’s full name, hoping to embarrass him.
“Aww.” Huck laughs. “That t’werent very kind of you. We’re just being friendly, is all.”
Moony annoyed, just wants to get to dance class. Bruce blocks him.
“Sorry mate, turns out a sissy tax just got put into effect. And lucky you- you’ve been audited.”
Moony doesn’t cower, says he’s got no money, and even if he did, they wouldn’t get a single coin. He’s got nothing to steal, so let him through-
Nothing to pony up? What about this? Huck snatched Moony’s twirler ribbon, Bruce laughs. Moony gets enraged, trying to take it back, but the ponies only toss it back and forth.
“Get it out of your filthy mouths, you, you degenerates! You miscreants!"
His insults fail to coerce the bullies, they only laugh at him and goad him further. "Miscreants? Reckon you can do better than that."
Moony hits his breaking point. Horn sparking, he yells, calls Huck "Then how about this, you inbred ground-pounding dirt eater." calls bruce "flea-bitten sea rat son of a drunk"
boys are quiet, impressed even. Bruce rolls his neck, cracking joints. "Look at that. He's got some bite in 'im after all."
"Dirt eater?" Huck echoed. He'd been nothing but mocking grins before, but now his face darkened. "....You even know what a day's hard labor feels like, tenderhoof?"
Moondancer opened his mouth to respond, but the words evaporated when a hoof smashes suddenly into his gut. Bruce has punched him. Moony drops like a stone, and the bullies loom over his crumpled body. The wind's been knocked out of him, it hurts so badly he feels like he's going to vomit.
"Reckon the lad needs a lesson in empathy."
"And Celestia-damned manners. Us earth ponies got feelin's, hornhead."
Bruce says he’s in a forgiving mood, so he’ll let Moony go if he eats a mouthful of mud. Huck agrees, since Moony’s such got a dirty mouth, it’s fitting.
Moondancer struggles to his hooves, coat is dirty, tears pricking the corners of his eyes. His horn sparks threateningly, he warns them to back off, and for a moment they actually look intimidated. “Or what?”
“Or...Or....” Moony’s horn flickers and dies. The bullies laugh. Enraged and humiliated, Moony manages to fire a beam into Huck, knocking him off his hooves. This enrages Bruce, who pins Moony to the ground. “That’s the trouble with you magic types, ain't it? You think you’re so above it all. You run the world and think us little mud ponies are just animals to be kicked around. Wonder how tough are you without your fancy horn?” Bruce starts applying pressure- mostly just to frighten Moony, but maybe there's a sadistic part of Bruce that's enjoying exerting this much power over someone, being the one inflicting the pain for a change? Bruce is so lost in the feeling, a terrible cracking sound snaps him back to reality.
Moondancer's horn has a deep fracture in it, blood begins welling up from within the crack. It looks very bad, it's an oh shit moment for Bruce. It occurs to him that this is wrong, that he's in deep trouble. This is more than schoolyard shoving and squabbling, he has maimed someone. He has essentially committed a felony.
His hoof is still numbly planted on Moony's horn- Moony begs for Bruce to stop, he's sorry, so sorry, he’s learned his lesson- but Bruce is frozen. but Huck eggs him on, angry over being blasted. “Do it, Bruce. Snap it off and make him eat it.” He stomped his hoof down on Moondancer's back. "You don't know sorry, you rat-tailed candyass snivellin' little miksop-"
A cupcake splatters across Huck’s face. The bullies look up to see Cupcake standing there, face dark. She's holding another one, says there’s more where that came from.
Pan rears like a great snake before Bruce, unfurling her wings, casting him in shadow. "Get your dirty hooves off my friend, Carcharodon."
Bruce is still in a daze at what's happening? He doesn't flinch at her, but he does back off Moony. Ears flatten, false bravado, clearly shaken. "...Or what?" He swallows. His mouth feels bone dry. "You gonna tattle on me to Cheerilee?"
"No, I'm going to tattle to my mother."
Bruce froze. Princess Twilight couldn't be bargained with, not like Miss Cheerilee. Huck winced, and shot him a nervous look.
"You've gone too far this time, Bruce, and you're not going to weasel your way out of consequences. Not this time." Pan growled. "And as far as I'm concerned, your reformation begins now." She holds up her claws, ready to snap them.
"....You don't scare me, noodle-bitch. We all know this is just a bluff. Yer magic's still as unpredictable and ready to blow up in yer face as ever."
"No." Pan said. "I've been practicing." snaps her claws. turns bruce into a teeny, googley-eyed goldfish. He hangs in the air for a second, before plummeting. As an afterthought, Pan snaps her claws again, conjuring a fishbowl brimming with water- and Bruce drops inside with a tiny plip.
"Bruce!" Huck shouted. Angry and scared, he grabs Bruce and runs off.
"Ha!" Pan cackles. "Bruce thinks he's some big scary, lurking shark, but we know the truth. He's nothing more than a little guppy. Him and Huck'll think twice before tangling with the three amigoes!"
Her ears perk at Cupcake murmuring softly to Moondancer and gently examining his cracked horn, saying it looks bad but it’ll grow back. Moony is crying. Pan reaches out, saying it's okay, they're gone, he's okay, it'll be okay....
"It's not okay." Moony is angry at himself, humiliated both by the bullies and needing to be rescued, like some damsel.
Pan tries to joke. "Does that make us your knights in shining armor?" Moony glares at her sharply. Pan flinches.
"I didn't ask for your help."
Pan grumbles he's lucky they did, lucky they showed up when they did, otherwise he'd be minus one horn. Lucky she's been training so much to control her magic-
Moony asks if it was really a rescue at all, or really just yet another opportunity to show off. Pan gets defensive, argues she wasn't trying to show off, not really.....but she wrings her hands. It's true. She had been showing off, at least a little. At least some small part of her relished the chance to be the one to leap in and save the day. But she thought Moony would've been all gratitude and smiles for her...this isn't how she thought it was going to go.
Cupcake interjects, she understands he's feeling embarrassed, but they are his friends, and they were only trying to help. Right now he needs medical attention, and something must be done about the bullies. Moondancer says it's nothing, says he has to hurry if he wants to catch the end of dance practice. Scrubs at his face. Tries to wipe away the dribbling blood, but shudders and blanches at the sight of it smeared across his hoof. Pan's annoyance immediately switches into concern, her eyes soften. She reaches out, "Please Marshmallow, let's take you to Mom-"
Moony pushes away her paw. Ah, yes, more princesses. That's what he needs, right? Because he's too weak to take care of himself on his own, correct?
Cupcake frowns. That's not what Panny meant and Moondancer knows it-
Does he know it? He doesn’t need to be rescued by some spoiled overpowered princess. He doesn't need Twilight, he doesn't need Pandora. It’s easy for her, isn’t it, born with all the power in the world. What about him? What could he have done? He was overpowered by two magicless ponies, that’s how weak he is. He doesn’t need her to rub it in. He storms off, red faced, angry tears streaming his face. This is the moment he began resenting Pan.
Pan is left holding his torn and dirtied ribbon. Exchanges a worried look with Cupcake.
Comments
Angsty Ram
An interesting lineup with how Bruce gets sent to Juvenile Court, least that’s what I am assuming. It’s a hard read but i believe it’s nicely put together. I think it perfectly demonstrates their bullying and the downfall of Moondancer.
Lopoddity
Aw, thanks. :)
Kyri Arriaga
I love the symbolism of the ribbon wand. This scene is a rollercoaster for my emotions. Fabulous! I appreciate that Bruce is "saved by the bell" when Moondancer trots in and makes an excuse for him to vent his homo-confusion. Also, Huck is gorgeous! His eyes and mane are luxurious; I have an idea how Bruce might feel about spending time with him. Additionally, the horn crack is appropriately terrifying to the situation, considering the implications that a completely broken horn would have for Moony in the future. Puzzle pieces fall satisfyingly into place as I realize how he later "decides" to gain power as an adult. However, my favorite part, speaking from experience, is when my favorite Earth pony hurls cupcakes at the bullies. The goldfish and bowl are too great, as well! 👏🤣
Lopoddity
Both your notes make sense, I need to clarify locations and positions. And thank you!
Dorkaly-Doodles
Good gracious, these really are some homophobic bullies aren’t they? Great dialogue! Very real and concise, love their written accents :)
D
Also: “He stomped his hoof down on Moondancer's back. "You don't know sorry, you rat-tailed candyass snivellin' little miksop-" This part confuses me because just a paragraph or two before it, it says Bruce has Moony pinned to the ground, with Moony presumably lying belly-up? That’s what I envisioned, at least. It’s a little confusing to figure out how the character’s are positioned
D
Poor Moony. I enjoyed reading this script-like first draft! My only hang up is that the illustration has them all outside, not exiting a building? Unless I read that wrong, or maybe you don’t need the drawing to be a perfect representation 😂 As always, awesome work; seeing your art (and especially your writing) really brighten up my day ☀️
