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Mirage
🕑 Added 2021-05-23 02:03:20 +0000 UTCBlueblood stirred at the rather unpleasant sensation of a hoof jabbing his cheek.
“Bluey. Bluey. Sweetheart, get up.”
“”Whzzuh.” With effort he managed to heave himself up, rubbing absently at a crick in his neck. “Mmmm?”
“You fell asleep at your desk again.” Trixie chided, her muzzle crinkling in distaste, “I’ve told you about these all-nighters, honey. Look, you drooled all over your star maps.”
And so he had. A smaller document- a postcard from Shining Armor- was still glued to his face. “Ah, apologies, dearest.” Cheeks flushing pink, he managed to pry off the damp card. “One of my students had an inquiry about the first Saddle Arabian voyage into the Celestial Sea- and I suppose I got so caught up in seafaring research that time got away from me a bit-” His sentence broke midway through in a yawn, and Trixie’s eyes softened with concern.
“Are you sure you’re okay to watch the kids this afternoon?” She reached out to brush his face. “I could put off the show for another day…”
“Oh nonsense, darling.” Blueblood quickly shook himself, pushing a warm smile onto his face. “Go get ready for your performance. I’ve already planned out the whole afternoon for the children- Why, I spent all of yesterday evening designing a scavenger hunt!” He lit his horn excitedly, levitating an intricate map for his wife to see.
“Uh-huh.” Trixie gave a wry smile, examining the careful notes Blueblood had scrawled on the parchment, things like make more challenging and reward: treasure chest of chocolate coins? “And it’s safe, right? Not gonna try hunting for ancient cursed blood diamonds this time?”
“What’s this? Safety concerns? I’d have expected something different from somepony that shoots herself out of a cannon on a weekly basis.” Blueblood chuckled. “You’re losing your touch, Great and Powerful Trixie.”
“Hmph!” Trixie huffed, but her eyes shone with playful light. “You’re just jealous they appreciate me here in Saddle Arabia. Trixie’s shows are more popular than they’ve ever been before, and her fan following outnumbers the stars!” She concluded dramatically, posing for extra flourish.
“I know, dear. You won’t let me forget.”
Trixie deflated a bit. “...Oh. I’m sorry, I’m doing it again, aren’t I?” She shuffled on her hooves, looking rather small. “...Boasting.”
Blueblood leaned forward to press a kiss to her cheek. “Bellatrix Lulamoon, you are an astounding magician, a talented and beautiful mare, the mother of two halfway decent tiny rascals, and married to a husband both incredibly handsome and irrefutably intelligent-”
“Don’t forget humble.” Trixie added, now smiling despite herself.
“And humble.” Blueblood agreed, lifting her chin with his hoof, so she could meet his gaze. “My point being, you’re well within your right to boast.”
Trixie flushed pink, beaming at him like a schoolgirl, and Blueblood felt a bit silly at how the sight could still make his stomach flutter. “I just might keep you around, your highness.” She swatted his shoulder coyly, then leaned forward to share a kiss with her husband-
“Mamaaaaa!” A voice whined from the hallway, “Peri’s chewing on me again!”
Trixie sighed. “Speaking of tiny rascals….”
“Go, my love.” Blueblood kissed her with a smile, then jerked his head toward the door. “I’ll fend the beasts off.”
Trixie gave him a grateful look and hurried out the front door, at the same time Moondancer came galloping into Blueblood’s study. Following right after him was his baby sister, toddling as fast as her wobbly legs could carry her.
“Daaaad!” Moondancer bawled, trying to scramble up into his father’s arms, “She won’t stop nibbling my tail!”
“Your sister’s just teething.” Blueblood reminded, his tone warm and easy as he effortlessly scooped up both of his children. “She doesn’t mean any harm, do you, Periwinkle?”
In response, Periwinkle let out a happy gurgle and grabbed at her father’s snout. Her messy mane spilled into her face and she stuffed a lock into her mouth to chew- but Blueblood quickly fished it out, tenderly tucking the hair behind her ear. Moony pouted, crossing his forelegs with a huff.
But Blueblood had a solution to that as well. “You know,” He began, and Moony’s ears pricked, “I was planning on baking cookies today. Only I just can’t seem to use the cookie cutter properly.” And he winked. “If only there was a big strong colt to help me….”
Moondancer shot squealing out of Blueblood’s arms, long tail practically wagging with glee, and Blueblood couldn’t help but smile. Time for the day to begin.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“We’ll make two batches of ma’amoul cookies, one each for your aunties Celestia and Luna. I know Celestia likes them with tea.” Blueblood mused, rifling through the kitchen cabinets for the powdered sugar. Periwinkle sat strapped to his chest, and had busied herself attempting to eat his beard. “What do you think the filling should be?”
“Oh, ooh- chocolate! And almonds!” Moondancer cried, bouncing on his tiny hooves. “No wait- dates! Or walnuts! Oh, no, pistachios! The fancy kind!” His muzzle scrunched adorably in frustration. “Argh, If they’re for Auntie Tia and Lulu they’ve gotta be perfect!”
“Celestia will appreciate anything we make, my boy.” Blueblood chuckled, reaching down to ruffle Moony’s mane. “After all, I’ve seen her stomach Luna’s cooking. Anything that didn’t come out of one of Luna’s vile thousand year old cookbooks will be a godsend to her, trust me.”
It was light, easy work, mixing rosewater and milk into the dough. While it rested, Blueblood set about making the fruit filling, mashing fresh dates and adding pistachios to half to batch. Playfully, he smacked away Moondancer’s hooves as they tried to steal a glob of sweet fruit paste, and it quickly became a game between them, with Blueblood turning a blind eye to some of the theft. By the time the cookies were in the oven, Moony’s cheeks and hooves were sticky with the pilfered filling, and he turned pink under his father’s amused, knowing eye.
Blueblood heated up a bottle of milk for Peri, then dropped into a nearby rocking chair with a sigh. Periwinkle reached for the bottle with grabby hooves, then greedily began draining her lunch.
Moondancer, unhappy at not being the center of his father’s attention, reared up clumsily onto his hind hooves. “I’ve been practicing my magic, Father!” He crowed, lighting his horn. “Wanna see?”
“Of course I do, my dear.” Blueblood smiled indulgently, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “I’d be honored.”
Moony summoned a corona of bright blue magic to his horn, his tongue poking out in concentration. It held strong for a long moment, blazing hot- before it fizzled and abruptly burst with a sound like a popped balloon. The shockwave sent Moondancer tumbling over in a tangle of limbs, landing on his face with a tiny oof.
Blueblood carefully stood and made his way over, righting his son back to his hooves. But Moony wouldn’t look at him. His brow was furrowed in anger, and his lip was wobbling in an effort not to cry. “...That wasn’t supposed to happen.”
“It’s alright, son.” Blueblood nuzzled his snout against Moony’s mane. “Not every unicorn foal gets the hang of magic quickly. Your mother struggled for years to cast even the simplest spell. So she learned stage magic to compensate- and just look at her now. One of the greatest magicians the world has ever known!” He draped his hoof around Moony’s shoulder, pulling his sniffling child close. “I’m sure she’d be willing to teach you everything she knows.”
Moondancer shuffled on his hooves, and was quiet for a long moment. “....I don’t wanna be a magician.”
Blueblood opened his mouth to start lecturing his son on the perils of giving up before he’d even begun, but Moondancer pressed on.
“I wanna be a dancer!” Moony blurted, his ears pinning back, “My teacher says I’m good at it! And I wanted to tell you and Mama- but the other colts in my class said it was dumb, and I didn’t-” He gazed up at Blueblood with wide, anxious eyes. “I-Is it...? Do you think it’s dumb?”
“Of course not, darling.” Blueblood shook his head. He laid down so Moondancer could curl up against his chest, and they could speak in conspiratorial whispers. “I don’t think it’s dumb at all. Did you know your grandmother was a world renowned ballerina? She toured with your grandfather in a traveling circus, and Celestia herself danced in their act sometimes.”
“What?” Moony squawked, seizing his dad’s face in shock. It made Blueblood chuckle.
“You can be anything you want to be, little rabbit.” Blueblood pulled his boy into a hug, and Moony returned it, happily nuzzling cheeks against his father like a cat. “Never let anypony tell you that you can’t. No matter what, your mother and I will always adore and support you, even when we’re old and grey.”
Moondancer beamed at him, and as always, the sight put a song in Blueblood’s heart. The moment was quickly ruined, however, by Periwinkle excitedly seizing a tuft of her brother’s mane in her gums and yanking.
“Blegh.” Moony complained, but didn’t push his sister away the way he usually did. “And what if all I want is for Peri to stop slobbering on me?”
“Then you’re out of luck, I’m afraid.”
Moondancer gave a half-hearted pout, but it quickly broke into a giggle when Blueblood lifted both children and spun them in a circle. Moony and Peri both squealed with laughter, and as Blueblood fell back against the carpet, his son quickly leapt on him in a play-attack, with Peri clumsily clambering after him. Blueblood fought them off as best as he could, laughing like a foal himself.
“...It could’ve been great, couldn’t it?”
Blueblood paused, looking up. Trixie was standing in the doorway.
Her familiar violet shawl and gold jewelry were gone. Instead she stood unadorned and haggard, her mane limp and bedraggled. She wore a thin smile that did not meet her eyes.
“Bellatrix?” Blueblood spoke, confused- but the mare shook her head.
“I think it could’ve been beautiful.” She continued dully. “...But this is how you wanted it. Right, Bluey?”
“What are you talking abou-” Blueblood startled, eyes going wide. With a sound like hissing wind, Moondancer and Periwinkle were evaporating.
“No!” He bellowed, leaping forward, but his hooves snatched fruitlessly through their forms like they were nothing more than wisps of smoke. Their little bodies dissolved before his eyes, and the last thing he saw were their faces, still frozen in picture-perfect, saccharine grins.
Blueblood gazed at the space his children had occupied, his lungs beginning to heave. Peri’s harness still hung limply on his chest.
“Trixie…” He swallowed. His mouth felt as though it was full of ashes. “....What have you done?”
“What have I done?” Trixie blinked at him- before breaking into a peal of breathless giggles. “What have you done? You wanted this, don’t you remember? You pushed us away!” She snorted, eyes glistening with mirth. “What have you done, Bluey?”
“I didn’t….I-I didn’t mean….” Blueblood’s stomach felt gripped in ice. He couldn’t look away from the spot where Periwinkle’s bottle had fallen. Next to it lay Moondancer’s scarf. Emblazoned with golden suns, it’d been a birthday gift from Celestia. “I….”
A hoof came down hard on his shoulder, jolting him from his stupor. Trixie was staring down at him, a black, tar-like substance seeping from the corners of her eyes, from her nostrils.
“What have you done, Blueblood?”
A black tendril wound its way around her neck, then began to constrict, slowly strangling her.
Blueblood took a step back in horror. “Trixie-” He tried to force his paralyzed limbs to move, to flee, to help, to do anything-
What have you done, Blueblood? Trixie’s voice echoed in his head like a siren.
The tendril suddenly inflated and burst, becoming a swarm of black ropes that shot straight at Blueblood. He could not run. His legs wouldn’t move. He watched the great rolling mass crash toward him, his death looming over him like a tidal wave.
W H A T H A V E Y O U D O N E ?
With a shout, Blueblood jolted awake.
Gasping for air, his lungs sucked in air like a drowning stallion. His coat was slick with sweat.
Through the darkness of his bedroom chambers, there came a growl. “....'Nother nightmare?”
Dark, monstrous face, glittering eyes. Pharynx.
As always, the general’s words cut through the fog in Blueblood’s mind. It crashed down upon him that it had simply been a nightmare. The cozy little home in Saddle Arabia that felt real enough to touch, real enough that he could smell the cardamom in the kitchen pantry- had only been a dream.
His family did not exist.
This was his reality. Alone in the darkness, with only a surly changeling for company.
Blueblood gulped down a breath to steady himself- but halfway through, it broke into a bitter sob. He held his hooves to his face and wept, wept like he hadn’t done since he was a foal.
“Whoa-!” Pharynx sat up in alarm. “H-Hey, c’mon-” His hoof wavered in the air for a moment, unsure what to do- before he began a series of ginger, awkward pats on Blueblood’s back. When they failed to comfort, he scowled, then tugged the faintly resisting stallion into his arms.
“C’mon, Blue, get it together.” The general urged, his gruff voice trying for a kind note. “...Hey, it’s alright. Everything’s okay. Whatever it was- it was only a dream.”
That’s the problem. Blueblood curled tighter into himself and despaired.
It had only been a dream.
~~~~~~~
request: can we see an AU where Blueblood and Trixie lived happily ever after?
Sadly, there is no reality where this happens.
During the brief time Blueblood and Trixie were together, he was not remotely capable of engaging with someone who genuinely loved him. A lifetime of shallow relationships had left Blueblood deeply cynical about love and intimacy, and he genuinely believed a lover's value only extended as far as their usefulness to him. When Trixie began to truly fall for him, it started to rankle Blueblood, both because he was unused to it, and because a part of himself did not (and still doesn't) believe he was worthy of that love. So he pushed her way. He grew irritable and cold with Trixie, and it quickly escalated into verbal abuse. Trixie left Blueblood for a very good reason- because to her, being homeless, pregnant, and alone was better than spending even one day more with that cruel, bitter prince in his empty castle. Now Blueblood must live with his choice.
Comments
Doglover502
This has some massive Bojack Horseman vibes "What are you thinking about?" "Oh, just how nice things could've been if you had chosen this life"
forthehonor-ofgayskull
oof this hurt me more than I thought it would. Great writing. You generally make me feel bad for blueblood.
Solnexux
Hi!! I just wanted to ask, if Moondancer IS someday confronted by Blueblood again, would that interaction be aggressive and explosive, or manipulative and methodical? Considering he is such an emotionally deep character with reasonable trauma, I wonder if he would explode and rage at his father (if Blueblood even reserves that title anymore) or would he go out of his way to rip his old man to shreds using verbal attacks? I just find character response to be extremely intriguing..
Lopoddity
No, not yet. Even if he was feeling up to to the task of speaking with his estranged son, he wouldn't know where to find him. (Moony's currently hiding out in the Everfree forest, doing his whole Sombra-wannabe thing). But Blueblood is having increasingly frequent intrusive thoughts about Moondancer, as well as strange, unsettling dreams...
SmilesPerHour
I can't honestly say that Blueblood deserved this happily ever after, but Trixie and Moondancer probably did. They thought they would have a happy, unified family, and Blueblood just left them in the dirt. I just wish Moondancer were able to have a father figure to give him the love and guidance that he never got from Blueblood. Perhaps then, he might have had an easier time growing up and making the right decisions... but then, perhaps not. Not all families get to live happily ever after, even when they did nothing wrong. Beautiful story, Lop. You've done it again :)
QuietZen
So at this point, Blueblood HAS already met Moondancer, so he does know what his son looks like, even if he never saw him growing up. Does he ever try to reach out?
Lopoddity
It’s interesting you think so, because I waffled for a while on whether this should be a real AU, or just a dream sequence. I thought up notes on how this reality differed from the canon pandoraverse story, as well as notes on the family and Periwinkle. But it never felt authentic? Like, even IF Blueblood has been ready to change and be a better person...Trixie is not a therapist. She lacks the patience and introspection to help him grow, and she’s not obligated to stick around while he figures out how to be less of an ass. They’d probably just fight a lot. To truly change, I’d have to put Blueblood in life-threatening peril...I thought about a story where he and Trixie get kidnapped in Saddle Arabia and have to work together to escape, but it just felt like a rehash of the story with Pharynx. So I decided to make it all a dream. Periwinkle is just a creation of Blueblood’s imagination, which is why she’s a baby...she’s just cute and sweet and innocent and won’t ask hard questions or judge him like Vogue does.
Lopoddity
Yep, she is, or at least her father is. Saddle Arabia strikes me as kinda similar to Canterlot, like there’s probably a massive class divide with a wealthy ruling class comprised largely of unicorns. Trixie’s father, Jack Pot (not his real name) grew up poor in Saddle Arabia, and spent his entire childhood saving up money to move to Canterlot. Success was hard to come by there, but he did end up meeting his partner Big Bucks, and together they created their magic show in Las Pegasus. As little Trixie grew up, Jack liked to take her to visit family in Saddle Arabia- and so Trixie has always been enchanted by the rich culture, the magic, and especially the food.
Hazelskyes
It's sad to see in the universe, Moony happily embraces his talent for dancing 😥
This is so beautiful yet heartwrenching.
Shimazun
I love the way you handled this, with a dream scenario. The reality wouldn't have been believable.
Maile Greenwell
Yep. Ya wrecked me. Amazingly done.
Princess Heather P. Blossom
Now i'm hurting ssooo bad I want all the characters to have happiness why are they all SOO broken damn 😭
Colbyr
Luna had been patrolling the realm of dreams, as per usual, when she'd sensed the disturbance. EDIT: oh goddammit, I hate mobile. Won't let me hit enter for a new line and I refuse to format this as one big paragraph. Look forward to a blurb sometime in the next day. Ugh. (and you know what you said about feeling like someone had come into your house and beat your heart to death with a baseball bat in a good way? YEAH THANKS I GET IT NOW OUCH)
owlcoholik
Trixie looks so beautiful...she deserves better is mainly what I’m getting from this. Is she saddle Arabian in your verse? I can’t remember if you’ve ever done any background stuff with her other than the parent piece with her dads
Beatleboy62
Ooof, OOOOF, bravo, I felt that deep down, like the "I'm so dissapointed in you" speech from a beloved teacher that makes you wanna sink into a void and never reappear. Fantastic work, 11/10, please stab my heart again with more pieces like this
*cries for things that will never be* God, your writing is BEAUTIFUL
Lopoddity
You may be onto something.....It's an omen. Also, thank you! :D
DragonCookies
Something about the "black, tar-like substance" felt veeeerrry familiar to me, like the substance that's currently corrupting Moondancer in the main pandoraverse storyline. I thought for a sec maybe Moondancer had somehow infiltrated Blueblood's dreams and was toying with him, like some foreshadowing of what he's got planned for Blueblood when he finds him again. But nevertheless! That was a very fun read! It's always so much fun to speculate how differently things could have gone if just one character makes a different, seemingly insignificant decision, this decision presumably being if Blueblood had worked past his insecurity just a little and opened up to Trixie instead of pushing her away. Very fun stuff!
