dylanemily
patreon
An Update
🕑 Added 2024-03-31 19:17:13 +0000 UTCHi friends! I hope you all are well. I just filmed a new episode of My Custom K-Pop Show. It should be up by tomorrow evening. CHUNGHA and (G)I-DLE reactions will also both be up before the end of the week. I am so sorry about the lack of content over this past month. I’m sorry for confusing you all and making you worry. Y’all deserve open and honest communication from me when I fall short. I want so badly to be a creator who provides consistent and quality content you can rely on. I’m sorry that I haven’t been. I want this to be a place where we’re able to share our mutual love of K-Pop and escape whatever worries we might have outside of that. I’ve purposely remained closed off when it comes to what I’ve been going through for that very reason. From this point forward, if any of you are interested, I would like to let you in.
I am struggling. I wish I was brave enough to be open with y’all about my struggles on camera. I hope with time that soon I will be. My mental and physical health is currently at an all time low. I have been struggling ever since my dog passed in October of 2022. Losing her changed everything about how I see the world. I am a different person. However, I’ve been extremely resistant to accept this. I like the person I was before the pain. I miss my positive outlook on life. I used to be the person who friends and family depended on when they were struggling. Now it’s me. I am the one who is struggling. I am the one who needs the support.
At this point I’ve done the work to understand why I am struggling so much. I know what I need to do. Even so, it is nearly impossible for me to find the motivation to move past the pain because I am severely depressed.
Still, I do realize how lucky I am to be alive. My love for life is not gone completely. I still have that positive side. He comes out when I am listening to good music! He comes out when I am watching an amazing music video! I desperately need to hold onto that.
I hope no one reading this is going through something similar. But if you are, just know that I’m right there with you. We owe it to ourselves and our loved ones to try. I keep thinking about what a waste it would be if I stayed like this forever. What if I never got through it? That would be a real shame. So, I want you to know that I am trying my very best and I will continue to try my best. I want to be the creator that you all deserve. I hope to prove that I can be.
Thank you for your continued kindness and support.
- Dylan ❤️
Comments
Miss E
As someone who lost their grandfather and dog on the same year I completely empathize with you. Grief is such a complex process but step by step it gets easier. Take your time and be patient with yourself. We support and love you, we will be here! 💜
Ashleigh Ní Duinnshléibhe
I can't imagine how I will handle it when it comes to saying goodbye to my Shiro. He's my best friend in the entire world, I would be so lost without him. I'm so sorry you're going through this Dylan. I wish there was something I (or anyone else for that matter), could say to really help. It just sucks and I'm so sorry you're going through this. And just so you know, you should never be stressing about the reactions. I think we all know you're a good person. If you haven't uploaded, there's a reason for this. You haven't just run off with all your patreon millions :D If you need to take a break, that's a million per cent fine, I know I'll absolutely still be here.
MKG
I just wanted to send you all my good wishes-- please take care of yourself first
Joshua Meister
I know how you feel; I lost my mom about 2 years ago. It...well, it broke me. I'm not the same person I was before and I never will be. But feeling this way is part of being human, I think. I had to find things that gave me joy or at least distracted me from how I was feeling and make pointed efforts to insert them more directly and frequently into my life. I had to remember what I liked about being in the world and focus on it with much more intention than I ever had in the past. Being with people helps me a lot, so if you normally do these videos by yourself I would recommend maybe finding some collaborators to work with for a while if you can. Anyway, I wish you the best. Fighting!
babymetalic
❤️❤️❤️
Loony BoB
I'm not going through anything like that, but I have in the past a couple of times. The best knowledge I can pass on is that you can and will get through it. You're a source of joy for us and I hope in time you'll find the sources of so much joy somewhere that you barely remember the darker times in life, because you're awesome. So glad you're pushing through it and taking what action you can because I believe you deserve the best of happiness life can offer and I'm cheering you on from afar!
KPOP & K-DRAMA TEES
Dylan we love you. We understand any breaks that you need. Been with you for years. SItuations like that are hard to overcome and it's enough that you are getting up every day and trying. <3
Chris
I was going through something similar for a good few years, and I want you to know that it does get better. When we lose the ones we love, it gets so hard to see the positives and all the negative shit seems to way heavier than it should, hit much harder and linger longer. It kept me in a funk, a perpetual kind of placid depression, and it took a while for me to really realize that I wasn't 'over it' and that I needed to actually heal by trying to have a better life instead of waiting for this one to stop sucking. I trust that you're stronger than you probably think you are right now, and if you're not, I'm sending you positive energy to make up the difference.
TiKiToPia 🙂
At my all-time very serious low here too cuz, life. I get it, trust me. No need for feeling pressured to say more and you do you.
Gia
Hey Dylan, I want you to know that we are here for you no matter what. I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through such difficult times and unfortunately I understand a bit of what you are feeling cause I struggle with depression ever since I was a teen and everything got worse after my cat died in 2021. These things should never happen. Our loved pets should be immortal and unable to suffer, but this is the real world. I truly hope you get to overcome this situation, it may take time, it can seem like forever, that things just don't get better but I promise it does eventually. I wish I could transfer you all the positive energy that I still have. Take your time to heal and get better, we will be here for you always 🩷
Koriandr Johnson
Oh Dylan, I’m so sorry you’re going through this rough time. I can’t even imagine losing my senior cat. I already know it’s gonna change me. We love your reactions and want you to do them when you feel that you can. I’ve been subscribed to you for awhile and always love your honesty and how much you make me laugh. Like you’re seriously hilarious. Don’t worry about having content every single week if you don’t feel like it. I speak for myself when I say that I’m not going anywhere even if you take a long break. Take care of yourself. Sending you lots of love and a big ass fucking hug!
jabari p
Hope you know there are so many who care and luv u, I hope u r ok
TaefiedContents
Ahh Dylan wish I could hug you right now. I’m currently going through a tough time in my life right now too so I understand. Just take it one day at a time and there is no need to rush anything when it comes to your content your mental health and wellbeing is the most important thing and we as your supporters will be here to support you at the end of it all. ❤️💜 Sending lots of hugs your way!!
