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Sex tip: joff-tchoff-tchoff-tchoffo-tchoffo-tchoff
🕑 Added 2016-01-19 00:50:19 +0000 UTCThis week I hosted a Livestream. Maybe you stopped by to check it out. We couldn’t get the sound to work despite turning everything off and on again, ending one stream for another, checking system preferences, speakers etc. At first I thought it was a bummer. Then, bored with the sound of my own voice, I went to YouTube for some background music. With earbuds in I turned up the volume as loudly as I wanted and typed in the chat bar about the unfortunate lack of dialogue. It was at this moment that the problem-solving genius I am started bobbing my head about and shimmying my shoulders to the beats. Sure, maybe I couldn’t use words to communicate but I certainly had my whole body to express joy, show gratitude, and entertain the original 8 viewers. Adorning a candy pink curly wig and DFTBA sweatshirt, I performed song after song with as much enthusiasm as I could while sitting in bed. I gave the silent moments loud obnoxious energy. I joff-tchoff-tchoff-tchoffo-tchoffo-tchoff my lips and lungs to be what the fox said when no one on the interwebs could hear what I was belting. I rocked out.
This, seeker of sexual advice, is a lesson for you in opportunity. Perhaps the next so-called failure or disaster you have is merely an opportunity to show off your creativity or your spontaneous dance moves. Maybe you won’t get an erection: opportunity to try that new toy you ordered. Maybe your partner gets the flu before your hot date night: opportunity to show your nurturing skills and compassion. You accidentally changed sexual positions causing yelps of agony: opportunity to incorporate temperature play as you soothe the aches with an ice pack or heat compress. Brilliant!
In the words of JFK, “The Chinese use two brush strokes to write the word 'crisis.' One brush stroke stands for danger; the other for opportunity. In a crisis, be aware of the danger--but recognize the opportunity.”
