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🕑 Added 2020-03-09 01:59:45 +0000 UTCYou’ve been on my mind everyday for the last month but it has felt like I didn’t know how to move the words from my throat to my mouth, or in this case my keyboard. Now is the time. I’m ready.
As you may know from my last email, I live in a small town called La Ventana in Baja California Sur in Mexico. Wiki says the population is 255 but I’m guessing that at this time of year there are about 3,000 people in the area -- mostly foreigners who come in to kiteboard along the Sea of Cortez. I’m surrounded by Americans, Canadians, and Europeans who speak English. This is wonderful for getting to know my community but very challenging for me to learn Spanish.
Let’s see, so I came here because I wanted to be someplace sunnier than Montana. I was struggling with health issues in Montana (what doc thought could be chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia). A lot of my daily energy was going to stay warm and with that get out of bed. Being here not only affords me a higher quality of life but I can take better care of your money, the most reliable income source for me. (This month Sexplanations had 2.5 million new views and made $664.55 from YouTube!?!)
Mexico is slightly more affordable than the States for food, laundry, gas etc. but the housing for the location/weather is a lot more affordable. Your money can go further. I can take better care of myself. In so many many ways. This is probably what I want you to know most. I didn’t come to Mexico to live the dream life because I’m loaded -- I came because I respect your money and I want to use it wisely.
Okay, next topic. Starting in January I aimed to do six months of celibacy -- abstinence from dating and sex. It was going really well and had an incredible video about the experience to match but I didn’t make it. I’m not good at taxes, directions, or abstinence. I’m great at problem solving, learning new things, and sex. Yup.
I played with a magical partner (from the Netherlands) and now I’m topsy turvy in the head. Do we keep it going? Is there a move or a visit to Portugal where he’ll be for a few months? Am I hip enough for a younger partner? Does it negate the love of past relationships? Should I have worked harder to stay celibate? Can it really be this fun? Great? Pleasurable? Easy?
I know, I can sort this out but sometimes it’s nice to just tell you the spinning thoughts in my head without any scripting or research. I’m made of guts, hormones, and a bleeding heart. I just want to love and be loved. Dr. Doe is first and foremost human and she’s found herself having a grand ol’ time. I want you to know. I don’t have it all figured out. Never. And you’re my people. I’ve said this in the past but I think it’s helpful to repeat. You’re kind of like a partner to me, definitely a confidant. We’re collaborators. I want you to know me and what fuel influences our show. The show that we, you and me, build together.
I actually would love for you to write to me in the replies of this message and have some dialogue there. Let me know how I can improve? Spend your money? Live my best life. You can be my educators. Coach /me/.
