Wandering Agent
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Chapter 89 Thunder
🕑 Added 2022-01-26 17:11:10 +0000 UTCSeveral weeks had passed since our incident at the copse, and slowly things began to return to normal. The dead students were mourned, the survivors finally stopped getting asked to recount what had happened, and life went on. I sat in the back of Rooke's class, as normal, enjoying a lecture that was some weeks behind where I was in my own work on the 'guide' when it began.
A peal of thunder, far off sounded, and from my seat I could see the rain start to fall upon the classroom windows. It was no big thing, no new action. The clouds in the sky showed clearly that it should rain today. I could even see the blue-white line as it traced its way across the sky.
My back tingled though, every hair stood up. I felt my heart speed up and I gripped the pen in my hand tightly. As I looked around everything seemed normal, seemed the same as it always had. Then why did I feel afraid?
Class continued on as it had, but by the end I was a mess. I stayed in my seat, trying to keep my composure as my heart felt like it would pound its way out of my chest. I was breathing fast and hard as I stayed where I was, everyone else left normally.
As Professor Rooke was cleaning up his things he looked over at me and I saw his eyebrows rise in concern. He quickly came over to look at me.
"Alana, are you quite okay?" Normally he was rather rough about things, but I could tell from his voice that he was genuinely worried.
"Oh, yes I'm fine I just.." I tried to rise, but as I did I found my legs shook like jelly.
A hand reached out to help me, keeping me from stumbling. "Come to my office and we'll talk."
We quickly walked through the halls. As we did I saw the storm through the windows. Black clouds were building and pelting rain upon us, sheet after sheet of it fell to the ground and slammed into the glass. To the point that most of the world had lost it's definition outside those windows. When we finally arrived I was told to sit while Professor Rooke moved to his desk.
He looked me over. I was still having a hard time for some reason, my muscles not responding quite as I wanted them to. "Alana, if something is wrong, I need you to tell me."
I was still pissed at him for having my room searched, and we hadn't spoken much since then. He'd made a few attempts, but I'd rebuffed him repeatedly. While I'd not come to any harm from it yet, it was still an awful invasion of my privacy and I was continuing to be a bit sore.
"No professor I'm just fine." At that moment a peal of thunder shook the room, as it did so I gasped, drawing my arms up to protect my head.
"... Alana, are you afraid of thunder?"
"No, that's stupid, why would I be afraid of thunder?" As if to contradict me another round of noise sounded off, and I felt my anxiety level skyrocket.
That made no sense at all. I'd seen plenty of storms before and they were no problem, so why now? This one was bad, sure, even worse than we normally got before the summer, but it was nothing terrible. It was stupid, I shouldn't feel any worry about this.
But I did. Every time the noise came I felt fear. I hadn't recognized it for what it was before, but it was fear. As I saw the blue lines trace their way across the world and leave light in their path I felt afraid. I also felt ridiculous, I wasn't some puppy, needing help because of a bleeding thunderstorm. I was me, I was a powerful spellcaster who'd faced death... more than a few times.
And then another bolt landed nearby, and I was afraid.
Professor Rooke looked at me with narrowed eyes. "Alana, Professor Endel said he instructed all those involved in the incident awhile back to seek out and speak with someone. Did you do so?"
"Um... I spoke with Kala about it a bit." That was technically true. We'd discussed it a few times, but I really didn't like talking about that too much, mostly I'd just kept myself busy with other things.
"That is hardly what he meant, and you know it." While there was a tinge of irritation in his voice, there was also a calmness, like he was telling off an errant child. "As it is, I have no classes for the rest of the afternoon, and I'd like you to stay here and speak with me a bit. Let us see if we can get to the bottom of things."
He went about making tea as I thought. It was interesting to watch him, since he used magic for the whole process, making the water and heating it pulling cups and the like across the room to himself. I was still mad at him, and this was an obvious attempt to get closer to me. I needed to be careful here, but I couldn't well leave without a really good excuse.
"I don't think that's really needed." I said it, but it was apparently clear that I was still rather stressed, so he just handed me a cup of tea.
"Your words say that, but your movements say otherwise. Drink, this is a lovely herbal blend and it will help you relax a bit. Why don't you tell me about how your classes are going?"
That was harmless enough I supposed. So I told him how things were, how I'd been getting good marks in everything. I'd really enjoyed Atali Dance in particular, and even experimented with trying a few simple spells while dancing, though that was going painfully slowly. I wasn't sure why that was, but it might just be because I was so used to using sound as my medium of choice.
He nodded along, listening intently. He asked a few questions as he did so, but nothing particularly invasive. Had I had any other issues of note? What did I like about this subject or that? What hadn't I liked about them? Mostly he just let me talk though. It also pained me to admit it, but the tea did seem to calm me down a bit. When I asked he said that it was one he used when trying to wind down after a long day.
I was pleasantly surprised that he didn't breach the topic of my research. He also didn't ask about the incident in The Junkyard Copse, though he'd indicated that if I felt like it he would gladly listen. That was a bit refreshing, as I'd had to go over it with much of the student body. They were particularly interested in the attacker, and it seemed not many of us had seen her.
By the end of it all, I'd rambled for a few hours and the storm had passed. It had been hard at first, but I gradually calmed, even if just a bit, and when it finally stopped so did we. Professor Rooke said that he had a few thoughts on things that might help me, but that he thought Professor Endel would probably be the best to talk to. He also gave me a small bag of the tea he'd made, along with instructions on where to get it, should I feel the need.
"You seem more... kind than normal." I observed as I moved to go.
"I'm unsurprised by this development. It is... less than optimal for you, but I have faith that you will overcome it and continue to be one of the few students here who will make me proud. Now, you've missed enough classes, and if you don't hurry you'll miss your dinner too." With that he shooed me out.
He wasn't wrong, and I was hungry. When I got to Hern's practical that night I assumed he'd spoken been spoken to by Professor Rooke, because he didn't mention me missing the period earlier in the day. He just continued on as if things were completely normal.
When I got back to my room that night I had received a letter from Professor Endel. He wanted to have a meeting with me on my next off day, said he had a number of things to go over, and it would take awhile. It was scheduled for after my Healing course that morning, which was something a bit worrying.
I woke up that morning and Dora helped me dress. It was odd to have someone else dressing you, but I'd pretty much gotten used to it by that point. After she'd done the last of my many, many buttons and ties I looked at myself in the mirror.
I was not unhappy with what I saw there. While I was a bit short, I assumed from my rough childhood, though it wasn't as bad as I might have feared. I was also filling out rather well with light curves that looked as if they would be quite nice in a couple of years. I was thinner than I'd been in the past too, a mixture of food, having to do most everything by hand, and dance classes had kept me from gaining much fat at all, which was really nice.
Going through puberty again had been, and was being, an absolute bitch. It wasn't as if it was any surprise though. I was also quite happy to learn from some of the older bard girls that over the generations spells to alleviate the worst of it had been developed. I had quietly picked up those, since they were mostly small alterations to things I already knew how to do. Cleaning, a small healing variation for cramps, nothing big, but damn useful.
Those spells had small variations for each of the caster types. We bards had the best ones, being able to control many things without knowledge, but all had something. Teaching them to your junior students properly and well was the self assigned job of the seniors, one they took with the utmost seriousness.
Small magical feminine products had also been invented some time ago. They were self cleaning and could be acquired by simply asking for some in our dorm. The Order of Lovers apparently produced and sold them at cost, but they were a bit pricey, as most magical items were.
I was surprised to learn that my Lover's Mark didn't actually effect that kind of thing at all. It was specifically to stop pregnancy, and did nothing else. When I'd questioned Kala she'd given me a strange look, and told me in no uncertain terms that while it was 'possible' to stop your cycle it was unadvisable unless you had very good reason. This world didn't use hormonal control and screwing with that was a delicate mess that could backfire easily.
When I got to my healing class I was happy to see that our previous test subject had been replaced. He'd slowly been recovering his lost limb and from what I could tell had finally gotten it back completely. We had a new girl in her mid twenties who had only one leg. I felt bad that she was going to be subjected to our many trials, but at least she'd be able to walk again without crutches at the end of it.
As it finished I headed over to Professor Endel's office, and was quickly let in. He had a number of things pulled out, and I could see that he had already put his armor on. I couldn't remember his previous set, but I thought this one looked a bit different.
"Good, you're here. Now, Professor Rooke told me about some of the problems you've been having, and I think there might be a way to help. I don't think you'll like it, but I want you to try."
I was a bit nervous already at what he'd said to me, but I nodded. "Yes sir... if you think it will help."
He gave me a bright smile. "I do. It will also serve to help you in my class. Alana, if you'd come to talk to me right after that fateful day we could have avoided some of the stress this is likely to cause, but I want you to know that no matter what happens, I will see that you are safe. Do you trust me?"
Now I was really nervous. "Hesitantly."
"Good, good, now, see that armor? Put it on. It's a special one that Rooke made just for this at my request. He seems quite invested in you getting over this fear of yours."
I grabbed the armor and quickly began to put it on. It was like our practice ones and would fit easily over my uniform so there was nothing wrong there, but it was not reassuring."
Professor Endel looked at me. "Alana, when a young man learning to ride a horse falls it is imperative that he get back on and continue riding. If he does not, he may come to fear the horse, and that won't do at all. We are fortunate in that you are particularly skilled for getting over this issue of yours, and together we shall see that you do." He clapped a hand on my shoulder in what I'm sure he thought was a reassuring way, but really made me want to run from the room screaming. "Now I just need you to remember that you trust me, even hesitantly, to keep you safe for this."
Author's note: These people are not therapists, they are two teachers at a magical school in a world where that job doesn't even properly exist. They do not know the best way to go about helping someone with trauma and are simply trying their best based on their experiences in the past. Their world doesn't even have proper forms of therapy. I hate to have to say it, but if you need help, seek a professional.
Second note: The remarking on puberty has been something that I've wanted to fit in for awhile. I'm not sure if I'll leave it here, but it seems that it's a nice aside from an otherwise heavier chapter.
Comments
Wandering Agent
We have not seen their perspectives.
lenkite
Is Alana the only one afraid of lightning ? Most of her group took worse injuries than her.
Nobody
It's usually kinda weird when "fantasy" books end up just being "at best 1960s technology with a medieval coat of paint". So far when things come up here that a roughly medieval Civilization wouldn't have at all they tend to not have it, or have a bad version of it someone made with magic. there's no TV, no phones, the Healthcare system makes the US' one seem rational and efficient, etc... (as for something like the lover's marks there have been herbal concoctions for that since before the pyramids though results varied and one favored by the Romans was so popular it actually drove its main ingredient extinct).
Jan Verner
This could go horribly wrong or very well. Nothing in between. My bet is she gets pushed to a corner and with being horrified and armed with a knowledge what lightning and electricity are will reveal quite a lot.
Morog T Tiny
ooh shock therapy
angie bell
ooo i like a story where there no perfect answer and it might not help this is not good but could go worse might inspire her to do her own things to overcome this not one hit problem! like Alana would want to make one of those plasma ball as a therapy project for example something silly! or a sound effect recording loop of thunder and rain can be soothing! I'm getting anxiety but lets see how this goes i mean eventually where gonna be blasted at eventually!
Maury
what could possibly go wrong..
Wandering Agent
I was not going to get rid of them completely, just considering moving them, but like I said, I think they're a nice aside for this chapter.
Kitty Chan
Keep the remarks on puberty. It's a part of her growing up and differs in her new world to how it's handled in her old life.
Robert Mullins
Scared of lightning? Let me keep blasting you with lightning until it feels normal instead of scary.
Lictor Magnus
That authors note and the armor makes me think theyβre going to try exposure therapy with lightning bolts π¬
