Inma R.
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Lars the wolf: adulthood.
🕑 Added 2024-06-30 08:00:09 +0000 UTCSecond part of the short Lars stories! Remember this is told from Lars perspective, therefore what's written is how he sees and feels about things.
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2. Adulthood.
Lars stood up quickly at the sound of Axel's voice calling him. Something was not right. He ran out of the house to meet Axel and Ragnar, but before he could reach them, Axel threw himself into his arms crying.
"He used me...! He used my body and now he wants to leave without taking responsibility for his actions!"
Lars felt his heart stop. He had been in love with Axel longer than he could remember, but had never dared to put his feelings on the table for fear that he would reject him and something would change between them. What had never crossed his mind was the possibility that Ragnar, who always seemed disinterested and distant, would take the initiative.
"That's not what happened! Lars, listen to me, I..." Ragnar tried to explain himself, but Lars wouldn't listen to him. What did it matter what he had to say? It wouldn't change anything. He felt an uncontrollable anger rising from his stomach to his head, making him grit his teeth and attacking the one who had been his brother up to that point. He wanted to kill him, he wanted to erase his existence as if that could also erase the fact that he had slept with Axel, that he had touched him with his dirty hands without even feeling anything for him.
Lars punched him while tears welled up uncontrollably and Ragnar tried to apologize to him for not having been aware of his feelings. As if an "I'm sorry" could undo his actions.
"I hate you, I hate you..." he thought as his body moved on its own. Axel was still crying and screaming that he wished he would die, and Lars willingly set out to fulfill his wish. He grabbed a sharp stone from the ground and tried to stab Ragnar with it. Although he dodged out of the way in time to avoid a fatal blow, Lars managed to slash his face from top to bottom. It was when the blood began to flow that Lars froze on the spot and Ragnar had time to get up and run away.
What had just happened? Why hadn't he killed him?
Axel kept crying on the ground, holding his face in his hands. Lars dropped the stone and knelt down next to him to hug him. He wanted to apologize for letting Ragnar leave after what he had done, but he didn't know how. For the first time in his life he hated not being able to articulate words.
After that incident Ragnar never came back. Lars supposed he went off with his stupid little friends whom he always seemed to prefer over him and Axel, and he wished with all his might that all three of them would go to hell after having sad and miserable lives.
Axel spent a week without getting out of bed, and every second of his depression fueled Lars' hatred and regret for not ending Ragnar's life when he had the chance.
Time healed Axel's wounds little by little, always with Lars by his side to care for him and profess his platonic and unconditional love.
Axel was with other men after that, and Lars just made sure that none of them hurt him while deep in his heart he wanted to kill them all. But patience is a virtue, and one day, after a fight with one of his ex-boyfriends who had come looking for trouble, Axel kissed him for the first time.
At last Axel had realized that he alone deserved him, that only he would always be there and would never hurt him like so many other assholes who hadn't known how to love him. Finally.
Finally Axel was his and he was going to look after him with all he had so that nothing and no one could ever separate them.
Comments
Amy Cargos-Morowitz
Sadly, Lars is becoming more and more exposed as sociopathic. I still don’t hate him, but he needs just as much help as Axel. I’m starting to think because he is not overtly being callus or manipulative or violent, and that he probably doesn’t know how wrong his actions can truly be, that we as a fandom have way more sympathy and want for him to be better on his own. Axel time and time again, even though his sense of reality is warped, he still knowingly does terrible things and doesn’t care; so sympathy be damned. Like I said in a previous post, by themselves, they work as a couple. But other people live in this world, and they might not be safe from these two.
rae of sunshine
axel is so complicated. i want to study him.
