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Chapter 21 - The Thorn Among Petals

🕑 Added 2025-07-23 14:29:40 +0000 UTC

Comments

LW Mwakina

Thanks Emame and I appreciate your sharp eye, Yes some of the repetition is actually intentional showing perspective shifts, but I’ll re-check conversations to make sure Snape’s timeline of change remain consistent.

Emame Efiok

Hi, I really like your story premise and it quite promising to read. A bit of constructive feedback though. Maybe you need to keep a map of the events that have happened and important conversations that have occurred in previous chapters so its doesn't seem as though situations are repeating themselves that have been addressed before - re-reading what has been written previously might be useful to help with this. In the very first chapters of this story, Severus had returned to this timeline from his first year and it was written that the the changes he had made to his character were present from Year 1 onward. The comment Mary and others keep making in this chapter and previous makes it seem that the change was sudden and happened in his Fifth year from an angry defensive person to a more mature person he is now. I might be reading the conversation wrong though if that was not how you wanted it to come across?


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