simonegiertz
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Letters to my future self
🕑 Added 2023-01-05 00:08:26 +0000 UTC
A couple of weeks ago, I found a letter. It was in a sealed envelope with “DON’T OPEN UNTIL 2022” written in big, angry letters. I opened it, and got transported back to 2014. I was 24 years old, working at a startup in San Francisco. It was right before the Queen of Shitty Robot YouTube era started, and I was writing to my future self. Here’s an excerpt:
Hi Simone. I don’t know if you’ll remember when I wrote this. To jog your memory: I’m in a bar called Revolution in San Francisco. I’m drinking a beer alone, that I got for free when I told the bartender that it was my birthday.
There’s so much that I want to know. And some things that I might not want to know. Are you even alive? Are mom and dad alive? It makes me sad that it’s a relevant question.
You probably have kids. Are you as good of mom as you thought you’d be? Probably not.
I am, as often, confused about life. I’m working with something that I thought would make me happy. Let me rephrase that: I’m working with something that I thought would give me an everyday life that I could live with. Could tolerate, accept, appreciate even. But I’m so itchy. I cannot rest in everyday life.
From 2014
I just feel that I have so many more gears in me that I’m not using. So much of myself that is dormant, unused. Have nothing to complain about in my life, but I somehow expected more. I expected to enjoy it. But I’m not. I have no idea what my next move is going to be and I’m running out of dreams to fulfill. I applied to MIT on a whim the other week. Did not go to the interview. I applied to an intensive iOS development class in NY. Did not go to the interview.
What do you do for work? Hopefully lots of things. Are you famous? Are you an entrepreneur? How many men, how many dead, how many hobbies, favorite colors, apartments, boats, friends, drugs, griefs and flus?
I just need a direction, a goal, a temporary purpose. A destination other than the end of the calendar year. I really hope you’re laughing at my naivety while reading this. That there’s so much that I don’t know. That you’re thinking “you just wait, Simone” and that the upcoming years are filled with so many unexpected doors to walk through and corners to turn.
Don’t forget to love yourself. I do.
// Simone, 24 years old.
It’s hard to describe how reading this letter made me feel. A couple of months later I built the toothbrush helmet and got thrust into a career I could never have predicted or expected. It felt like a tiny bridge opened to that time, and it made me really proud of everything that I've done since then. 24 year old me was right, all I kept thinking while reading the letter was "oh you truly have no idea. You just wait."
IN OTHER NEWS
I just got home after three weeks in Stockholm! I got so much quality time time with my family, which is best illustrated with this series of selfies:
Laura and her dog Smudo drove up from Germany, and we spent NYE drinking tea, playing board games and putting our teenage selves to shame.
My flight home was a joy, if by joy you mean: getting up at 5.30AM to head to the airport but there has been an accident on the freeway so I miss my flight but I manage to get the last ticket on a flight that leaves a couple of hours later so I do a proper viking funeral for the extra $1600 that I had to spend on that ticket and getting home to LA ends up taking 26 hours from door to door. At the end, my butt started taking the shape of a manhole cover, and I’m so happy to be home so it can return to its former glory. But until then, it’s all this after three weeks apart:
XOXO
Simone
Comments
Gabriel Kilchör
Woah, this letter to your future self was very... powerful ! And quite moving. I think your past self would be as proud and thankful of you as we are ! <3
Michael Soo
Not much difference than leaving a note to yourself.
Blitzar Whistle-Stop
"..Ride, captain ride upon your mystery ship Be amazed at the friends you have here on your trip Ride captain ride upon your mystery ship On your way to a world that others might have missed - Blues Image
Aaron Burke
Tell 2014 Simone that I love her just as much as 2023 Simone! Because without her, 2023 Simone wouldn't exist; you have yet to invent a time machine, after all.
Christoph Moench-Tegeder
What kind of person gets up at 5AM in the morning just to have an accident on the freeway and create a hassle for everyone else? That must have been an "I wish I had stayed in bed" day for them, too...
Kristi Hendrickson
I'm so glad you have the opportunity to look back and see the changes that make you you! I've followed you for quite awhile and you are seriously an inspiration.
Mike Pezaro
I wish I had done this when I was 22... I feel like my "Real Life" started at 23, although, like you, I had no idea at the time. Please do let us know when your butt gets back to its correct shape else I will have the image of a manhole cover in my head for ever more!
Alana Yurczyk
Thank you so much for sharing this, Simone. I'm starting a new job next week so reading this definitely made me feel some feels.
Eric Friedman
Wow, Simone. What a journey! Thank you for sharing something so personal. Some days our lives can seem so dark and depressing, but looking back on how far we've come and all of the twists and turns can really help us appreciate even the smallest of moments and adventures. Reading this really helped me today.
Zap Andersson
Wow, 2014 Simone was borderline psychic. Minus the kids thing. At least I don't think you have kids, you have not mentioned any at any point. Nor any men. but you probably wouldn't mention them anyway, because they aren't robots, so why would you? :) To be fair I assumed you were dating Laura :P
Andy Callaway
That letter was a real "If I knew then what I know now" moment.
Bradley Mott
In a very real way I feel this. I have a Facebook memory where I am "checking in" at the airport... to pick up a friend who was coming to see me. My comment on the check-in is "maybe I'll get to come here and actually go somewhere someday." That was thirteen years, and five Continents, ago. I hit my seventh Continent in 2017. I always look at that check-in when it comes up in my "memories" and think to myself "wow you really had no idea... did you...", and then I smile. Sometimes it's hard to look at what's going to be better about tomorrow... but BOY is tomorrow better. Every time. Especially when you least expect it.
Justin McMurry
I can only imagine all the feels you had while reading that letter. Thank you for sharing. A great example that shows that you never know what life has for you and that your current situation does not define your life.
xPir8x
I love everything about this. Well, minus missing the flight and your manhole cover butt.
VS
This inspired me to write a letter to myself and I just did :) you’ve come so far, life is cool that way.
JoyousWaters
Even writing that letter shows what an incredible, creative person you already were, and wow, look where you are now! I know it’s been a rough patch lately for you, but you’re still making so many people smile and we love you so much. And I am still trying to hunt down my own antique fire alarm because that was just so cool.
Sherry Carrero
I loved all the shitty robots, and I have loved all the cool projects since. ♥️♥️ I'm guessing the next build project will include moving gears? ⚙️⚙️
Hogtown Pens
That letter was really amazing! I love how prescient it is. One of my high school teachers had us write letters to our thirty year old selves, and sure enough I got it in the mail the year I turned thirty (via my parents). I had totally forgotten I had written it, and it was equal parts cringey, awkward, and naive 😂😂😂
Chris Parsons
With your curiosity and inventiveness I think you would have done well at MIT but life would have been very different.
MP
Maybe you should bury a time capsule
Simone Giertz
I wrote a letter to 2027 Simone on new year's! I'm going to make it my new NYE tradition.
MP
You know what you need to do now right? You have to write a letter to 2030 Simone
Brooks Moses
Glad you're home, and that you've found ways to exercise those gears that 2014 Simone wasn't using, and that your life is so full of good things!
Jeff
Wow, having followed you from the beginning of QoSR what a beautifully intense thing to share! Glad you got some great family time, it always recharges the spirit. Looking forward to your next 10 year report!
Rob Voigt
It's amazing, the way that your patreon is worth the money even just for these life update blog entries. Saying "just for" makes it seem critical or flippant or cynical, but you really have a knack for brightening a day with the posts you write.
Steven J Flebbe
Welcome home, and Happy New Year!
Tree Carcass Mangler
Seems like Simone at 24 would be proud, generally speaking. Entrepenuer! Famous! And thats a great closing pic with Scraps! Glad you had a good time in Sweden, and happy that you are "home" (and by "home" I mean your own house).
Tessa
Such a moving letter. You should write 2014 Simone back!
