Jay Friday
patreon
Speedrunner 1.05
🕑 Added 2025-09-11 13:00:13 +0000 UTCAuthor's Note: Another Speedrunner interlude chapter! Chloe's got a few upgrades to pick.
Becky and I chatted for a few minutes, comparing notes.
Well, kind of. I'm not sure she did much note-comparing. But I asked her questions and compared her answers to what I'd gone through in the level so far.
Her experience had basically been like mine. Except she'd only killed one goblin; it hadn't really been able to hurt her, but it had evidently taken her ages to finally get it with a solid attack. It kept dancing around to dodge swings from her mace while its own blows clanged off her armor. It confirmed my sense that Dominance was probably linked to attacking, and Satisfaction to defending or surviving.
After how much trouble the one goblin had given her, she'd tried to avoid fighting, heading towards the castle, looking for Ted and I. She hadn't seen anybody else, either -- she had poked her head into this ruined shop, and the goblins had followed her in.
I got her to share her stats -- just to confirm that I understood what her Origin for the level was actually giving her.
NAME: Becky
ARCHETYPE: ASPIRING ACTRESS
Most rational humans find former theater kids who're trying to make it in LA annoying. Their constant need to be in the spotlight; their deepseated need for validation, to have an audience. But, hey: this is, after all, an entertainment production. Maybe someone who's trying to make it big in entertainment could be useful to have around?ORIGIN: ELVEN BATTLEMAIDEN
Becky has chosen, in a predictable turn of events, to be an elf. The frontline of elven forces, battlemaidens combine magic and weaponry into a defensive, protection-focused fighting style. Of course, here, just like other elves, she's at the bottom of the social hierarchy, but she's got magic and good looks on her side, so it could be a lot worse, right?STATISTICS
Appearance: 3 (+2)
Verbal: 1 (+1)
Performance: 2
Sexual Prowess: 6EXPERIENCE
Dominance: 1
Satisfaction: 9
Connection: 2
Overall Score: 18TALENTS AND PERKS
Topping From The Bottom [D] (This is Becky's talent.)
Sometimes it's fun to switch things up and be in charge, even if you're used to being told what to do. Once per level, raise your Dominance score to equal your Satisfaction until the end of an encounter.
(Currently, this perk will temporarily raise your Dominance to 9.)Becky With The Good Hair [F] (This is Becky's perk.)
I mean, look, if the name fits, right?
Add +1 to your Appearance.Amateur Costuming [C][Base] (This is Becky's starting perk.)
You've got the kind of eye for costuming that is shared by cosplayers, community theater enthusiasts, and historical reenactment nerds all the world over.
If another player in your party lets you make minor adjustments to their attire, the statistics and other benefits offered by the attire are increased by 50%, rounded down, until the end of the level.Crowdpleaser [C][Base] (This is Becky's starting perk.)
You love an audience, and the audience loves you.
Any time you complete an encounter in which someone else watches you but doesn't touch you, you receive an additional point of Satisfaction, and so do they.The Love Interest [C][Base] (This is Becky's starting perk.)
You certainly know how to play opposite a leading man…or woman.
In any encounter in which you gain a point of Satisfaction, the other participants gain an additional point of Dominance or Connection.CURRENCIES
Minor Favors: 0
"Wow, Becky." I was kind of impressed. "Your Satisfaction is almost as high as my Dominance."
"I know! I feel very..." she paused for a moment, considering. "...Sturdy?" she said, finally.
I nodded. It made sense. I had Becky share her gear as well.
GEAR
SAMPLER: PERSONAL LUBRICANT [GEAR][CONSUMABLE: 1]
Literally grease the wheels (or other parts) of a sexual encounter!
+1 Performance during an encounter when it's used.SPELLSCRIBED ARMOR [GEAR][ATTIRE]
The elves like their battlemaidens to look good, and that starts with the right suit of armor. It's shiny! It's revealing! If it weren't magically enchanted it would be totally impractical!
Wearing the armor gives you +1 Appearance.
This particular suit of armor is inscribed with two minor spells, including:
Refresh Appearance: repair your armor, don it, heal any minor wounds, and reset your appearance. As befits a battlemaiden.
Draw Attention: puts the attention of participants in an encounter on you. Targets one participant for each point of Connection you have.REMARKABLE ASPIS, UNREMARKABLE TRUNCHEON [GEAR][MELEE WEAPON AND SHIELD COMBO]
This shield is fucking awesome. Enchanted to withstand dragonflame, the mighty blows of ogres, the crashing tide, the crushing avalanche; it is an impenetrable, immovable object, a force of nature itself.
The truncheon, on the other hand, is, well...a club. The kind used by cavemen and law enforcement professionals the world over.
Effective use of the shield is based on your Satisfaction statistic. Effective use of the truncheon is pretty unlikely.
SCROLL OF LUST [GEAR][CONSUMABLE: 1]
A poorly-scrawled goblin spell is on this scroll. Calling it parchment would be generous, and the material has clearly deteriorated with each use of the magic channeled through it. It has but a single use left.
Targets up to one participant for each point in your Verbal statistic. For those participants, your Appearance is increased by your Dominance until the end of the encounter.
(Currently, this targets up to 2 participants, and adds 1 to your Appearance.)
I focused immediately the Scroll of Lust description. Fuck me. That thing was good, although Becky didn't have the right stats for it. Though we did have some ways to make it more useful for her.
"Hey, hang on to that scroll, Becky, okay? We'll want to pair it with some other stuff so you get the most out of it."
"Hmm? Sure, okay." Becky's round metal shield was mirror-bright; she was studying her own appearance in the shield's reflection, looking self-satisfied.
Well, hopefully she'd listen. The response wasn't exactly confidence inspiring.
Not for the first time, I felt a little jealous of Becky's abilities. With the armor and shield, she sounded nigh-indestructible. And she looked like...some Valkyrie or Nordic goddess, I thought, contemplating at the way she filled out the armor, her perfect blonde hair.
I turned my attention to the now-familiar glowing arrow in the corner of my vision.
ADDITIONAL CHARACTER CHOICES ARE AVAILABLE.
STATISTICS
Appearance: 1
Verbal: 3 (+1)
Performance: 2 (+2)
Sexual Prowess: 6EXPERIENCE
Dominance: 10
Satisfaction: 5
Connection: 1
Overall Score: 50
That encounter had given me two points of Dominance -- presumably Retchmung had finished faster than he'd expected, for a bonus point of Dominance, and Becky's perk had given me another point of Satisfaction. My stats were growing nicely.
And now the 10 next to Dominance and the 5 next to Satisfaction were both slowly pulsing with a blue light, this time. I was a little surprised my Overall Score was at 50, but not glowing: no new talent. Maybe at 100, then?
Anyway, I focused on the Dominance score first. Options popped up in front of me.
SELECT A NEW OR UPGRADED DOMINANCE PERK FROM THESE TWO OPTIONS:
Charismatic Chatter [D]
You've got one of those voices people really love to listen to. For days at a time, even.
Add +2 to your Verbal.Good With Your Hands -> Great With Your Hands [C][UPGRADED]
Whether you've spent too much time playing bullet-hell shooters or giving handjobs, all that experience is starting to add up. Not only are you great with your hands, but people remember what those hands can do.
Add +2 to your Performance. Additionally, when you use your hands to end an encounter, the other participants permanently lose one point of Dominance.
Last time -- with five points in Dominance -- it had offered me a simple +1 to two different stats. This was a way more complicated choice.
It was offering me an upgrade on a current talent to make it +2 to Performance or a +2 to Verbal. Great With Your Hands seemed obviously stronger, with its additional effect. Maybe the game rewarded specializing?
Oh. Or maybe it was balancing for the fact that the upgrade would leave me with fewer total points in stats, I realized. If I took Great With Your Hands, I'd end up with a +2 to Performance. If I took Charismatic Chatter, I'd end up with a +1 to Performance -- because I'd keep my Good With Your Hands perk -- and a +2 to Verbal.
And beyond that, the specifics of the additional effect on Great With Your Hands was worth mulling over. It let me take stats away from other people. It didn't sound like I gained them, but it still seemed like the kind of ability that would help slow down the competition, maybe get people eliminated.
I was half-tempted to immediately pick it, abandon the objectives for the level, and go find Colton. That fucker. See how he liked losing some stats.
But I wasn't sure if stat-reduction was something that was wise to lock myself into. It would be easy to drain away all of Becky and Ted's Dominance, for example, and zero out their score. It wasn't like they had much, did they? Maybe I could just avoid ever using my hands with them? What even counted as using your hands, anyway?
I rubbed my face wearily. A way more complex choice than most of the ones I'd had to make to this point. I wasn't sure what to do.
So instead of deciding, I pulled up the Satisfaction perk choice.
SELECT A NEW SATISFACTION PERK FROM THESE TWO OPTIONS:
Girl Next Door [D]
You've got the kind of approachable good looks that people love.
Add +1 to your Appearance.ASMR Dabbler [D]
Don't think we didn't notice that you've dipped your toe in ASMR streaming when we were reviewing your streaming history, Chloe. You've got a nice throaty whisper, don't you?
Add +1 to your Verbal.
I paused, re-reading. Was this the first time the game had directly used my name in an ability description? Even amidst everything else, it was a little disconcerting. Like Prometheus was talking to me.
The options themselves were straightforward, at least. A choice between two +1s.
...But based on what I'd been offered with a Dominance of 10, I could see how this would work. Once I hit Satisfaction 10, I'd get offered two choices: +2 in the stat I picked now, accompanied by an additional benefit, or +2 in the stat I didn't pick.
Hmm.
Well, at least for the moment it seemed like I had one complicated choice to make, and one simple one.
With Ted not around, I figured I'd ask Becky for advice. "Hey, d'you-"
She turned towards me, speaking at the same time as I spoke. "Do you think my tits look better with the armor like this, or like this?" She adjusted, tugging the impractical armor down an inch or two.
"They look great either way." I tried to keep the impatience out of my voice.
Becky looked pleased. "Aw. Thanks Chloe. What were you going to ask about? Is it those leggings you're wearing? Because I've been thinking about them also. If I were you, I'd probably distress them, add a few holes or something -- you've got such nice skin, why not show it off a little?"
I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Fuck, Becky. Never mind."
"Okay!" She said the word cheerily. "Let me know when you're ready to go!"
I sighed. I was glad to have some company...but I needed to pick these upgrades and then go find Ted before Becky drove me insane.
---
CHARACTER SHEETS
(Note: These are as of the end of Speedrunner 1.0, to the best of Chloe's knowledge. I'm including Becky's also, for completeness, though it's mostly replicated above. Ted's isn't updated since Chloe hasn't run into him yet this level!)
NAME: CHLOE
ARCHETYPE: STREAMING SPEEDRUNNER
Some people are born with incredible gifts. Mathematical brilliance; the ability to understand numbers and equations as easily as the written word. Athleticism that stretches our understanding of what the human body can achieve. Charisma and eloquence that lets them sway the emotions of thousands, close deals worth millions.You, on the other hand, were born with a superhuman talent for beating videogames as quickly as possible. Fueled by energy drinks and parasocial relationships with strangers, you’ve honed it to exceptional heights. It’s always been about the destination, not the journey, for you, and this competition is presumably no exception.
STATISTICS
Appearance: 1
Verbal: 3 (+1)
Performance: 2 (+2)
Sexual Prowess: 6EXPERIENCE
Dominance: 10
Satisfaction: 5
Connection: 1
Overall Score: 50TALENTS AND PERKS
Good With Your Hands [F]
All those video games have really made you dexterous, huh? Think about what you could use that for...
Add +1 to your Performance.The Voice [D]
Once per encounter, you may add half of your Dominance, rounded down, to your Verbal score for three seconds.
(Currently, this talent will temporarily give you +4 Verbal when activated.)
Chloe's Inspection [C][BASE]
Your interface reveals additional information about game mechanics. Descriptions of other characters, your environment, and similar systems will also be more robust. Gamers like you just have an eye for this sort of thing, y’know?
Any% Completion [C][BASE]
Always on the lookout to set a new record, aren't you? Encounters in which someone finishes faster than they expect will award you one additional point of Dominance or Satisfaction. Encounters that end faster than anyone expects instead award two additional points of Dominance or Satisfaction.What Do You Think, Chat? [C][BASE]
Once per competition level, you may ask chat a question. Asking the question starts a five minute timer. When the timer reaches zero, you’ll receive an aggregated summary of responses and reactions to your question from viewers in the chatroom of your live stream. Chat may be wrong, uninformed, hostile, sexist, rude, and/or unhelpful. But you knew that already – it’s chat, after all.CURRENCIES
Minor Favors: 0
GEAR
Sampler: Statement Lipstick [GEAR][CONSUMABLE: 1]
A lipstick that helps you make statements. Get it?
+1 Verbal until the end of your next encounter.Exceptional Jian [GEAR][MELEE WEAPON][FINESSE]
An extremely well-made sword. Put the pointy end into your enemies.
This is a finesse weapon. Your competence with this weapon is based upon your Performance statistic.Lockpicks [GEAR]
For picking mechanical locks. Lockpicks have a small chance to break upon each use.Vagabond Outfit [GEAR][ATTIRE]
This attire combines performance and aesthetics for the woman who needs to go from Pilates, to dungeon-delving, to a cocktail party on a single outfit. Featuring thoughtful details like reinforced seams, hidden pockets, and patented no-rip fabric, you'll look -- and feel -- effortless and elegant, from boardroom to battlefield.
...That's how the marketing execs will pitch the spinoff clothing line they'll make if you survive this level, anyway. For you, it just gives +1 to Performance.
NAME: Becky
ARCHETYPE: ASPIRING ACTRESS
Most rational humans find former theater kids who're trying to make it in LA annoying. Their constant need to be in the spotlight; their deepseated need for validation, to have an audience. But, hey: this is, after all, an entertainment production. Maybe someone who's trying to make it big in entertainment could be useful to have around?ORIGIN: ELVEN BATTLEMAIDEN
Becky has chosen, in a predictable turn of events, to be an elf. The frontline of elven forces, battlemaidens combine magic and weaponry into a defensive, protection-focused fighting style. Of course, here, just like other elves, she's at the bottom of the social hierarchy, but she's got magic and good looks on her side, so it could be a lot worse, right?STATISTICS
Appearance: 3 (+2)
Verbal: 1 (+1)
Performance: 2
Sexual Prowess: 6EXPERIENCE
Dominance: 1
Satisfaction: 9
Connection: 2
Overall Score: 18TALENTS AND PERKS
Topping From The Bottom [D] (This is Becky's talent.)
Sometimes it's fun to switch things up and be in charge, even if you're used to being told what to do. Once per level, raise your Dominance score to equal your Satisfaction until the end of an encounter.
(Currently, this perk will temporarily raise your Dominance to 9.)Becky With The Good Hair [F] (This is Becky's perk.)
I mean, look, if the name fits, right?
Add +1 to your Appearance.Amateur Costuming [C][Base] (This is Becky's starting perk.)
You've got the kind of eye for costuming that is shared by cosplayers, community theater enthusiasts, and historical reenactment nerds all the world over.
If another player in your party lets you make minor adjustments to their attire, the statistics and other benefits offered by the attire are increased by 50%, rounded down, until the end of the level.Crowdpleaser [C][Base] (This is Becky's starting perk.)
You love an audience, and the audience loves you.
Any time you complete an encounter in which someone else watches you but doesn't touch you, you receive an additional point of Satisfaction, and so do they.The Love Interest [C][Base] (This is Becky's starting perk.)
You certainly know how to play opposite a leading man…or woman.
In any encounter in which you gain a point of Satisfaction, the other participants gain an additional point of Dominance or Connection.CURRENCIES
Minor Favors: 0
GEAR
Sampler: Personal Lubricant [GEAR][CONSUMABLE: 1]
More like lubri-can! Literally grease the wheels (or other parts) of a sexual encounter!
+1 Performance during an encounter when it's used.Spellscribed Armor [GEAR][ATTIRE]
The elves like their battlemaidens to look good, and that starts with the right suit of armor. It's shiny! It's revealing! If it weren't magically enchanted it would be totally impractical!
Wearing the armor gives you +1 Appearance.
This particular suit of armor is inscribed with two minor spells, including:
Refresh Appearance: repair your armor, don it, heal any minor wounds, and reset your appearance. As befits a battlemaiden.
Draw Attention: puts the attention of participants in an encounter on you. Targets one participant for each point of Connection you have.Remarkable Aspis, Unremarkable Truncheon [GEAR][MELEE WEAPON AND SHIELD COMBO]
This shield is fucking awesome. Enchanted to withstand dragonflame, the mighty blows of ogres, the crashing tide, the crushing avalanche; it is an impenetrable, immovable object, a force of nature itself.
The truncheon, on the other hand, is, well...a club. The kind used by cavemen and law enforcement professionals the world over.
Effective use of the shield is based on your Satisfaction statistic. Effective use of the truncheon is pretty unlikely.
Scroll of Lust [GEAR][CONSUMABLE: 1]
A poorly-scrawled goblin spell is on this scroll. Calling it parchment would be generous, and the material has clearly deteriorated with each use of the magic channeled through it. It has but a single use left.
Targets up to one participant for each point in your Verbal statistic. For those participants, your Appearance is increased by your Dominance until the end of the encounter.
(Currently, this targets up to 2 participants, and adds 1 to your Appearance.)
NAME: Ted
ARCHETYPE: TED FROM ACCOUNTING
This is Ted. You know, from Accounting. It's kind of his entire personality. Which is kind of sad. But he's good with money and numbers. Can he win a competition that's mostly about being good with people? I doubt it, but you never know, do you?STATISTICS
Appearance: 2 (+2)
Verbal: 1
Performance: 1
Sexual Prowess: 2EXPERIENCE
Dominance: 2
Satisfaction: 3
Connection: 3
Overall Score: 18TALENTS AND PERKS
Bull Market [C][BASE] (This is Ted's starting perk.)
At the end of each level, double your currency totals. Easy to make a killing in a bull market, isn't it?Looks Money Status [C][BASE] (This is Ted's starting perk.)
Some people believe that wealth, for men, is what beauty is for women. Reality is probably a little more complicated than that, huh? But let's run with it. Add your total Major Favors currency to your Appearance stat.
(Currently, this perk gives you +2 Appearance.)Breadwinner [C][BASE] (This is Ted's starting perk.)
Everyone wants a man who's a good provider. Encounters with someone who has less total currency than you will reward participants with one additional point of Connection.CURRENCIES
Minor Favors: 22
Major Favors: 2
Comments
Bob
Apologies if you voted already; enabling multiple choices meant deleting and re-creating the poll. But it should be good to go now.
Bob
Thanks! Just fixed it.
Sam
I think it's currently a single selection vote instead of multple choices.
