stasisdelirium
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The Wildfires Chapter
🕑 Added 2019-05-22 20:30:16 +0000 UTCJust wanted to post a short update on some things going on lately, and why I've been taking a while to get back to people.
My father tripped and had an injury about a week ago. He is, for the greater part, doing okay, and able to move around with some difficulty. However 'just a little bump and scratch' means something entirely different when you get to be his age, and are on medications including blood thinners.
I'm currently taking up a great deal of slack for him, something I would do in a heartbeat given the support he's given me through my lifetime. This was supposed to be planting season for him, a time of year he looks forward to more than any other, as well as caring for his yard, and generally being more active. Something he relishes as years go on. Sadly it has to be put to the side though, which he's not pleased about.
It doesn't help that he's also as bullheaded as I am. Or that is to say, I'm as bullheaded as he is. Getting him to accept that he's injured, needs to actually rest, and do cold-compresses is a little like trying to get a bird to write a poem about cat-food. He's still in the 'I can just walk this off' stages, and he's finding that his logic in this regard is failing him, as is his body.
Right now I'm just as guilty as he is when it comes to self-care. I've got a few injuries I picked up 20 years ago on a 'freight puller' job that I've ignored, and my left foot is a nightmare of haunted ligaments and ghostly bones that scream with too much use, but I've been basically taking all of his onto myself entirely. Caring for him, his property, his garden and making sure he gets to his appointments has been a complete focus right now.
However, I apologize for being quiet in the last couple of weeks, and hard to reach at points. Its not for any other reason than there are days that I'm up at 6am, and only get to sit at a computer by the time 6 or 7pm rolls around, and by those points I'm so worn out and dizzy that I'd be useless in replying to anything with much more than a terse 'yes' or 'no' answer. Its not my intention to be an aloof three-headed butterfly, its just been a whirlwind.
I'm trying to figure out a schedule right now. By this point I should have had a painting posted, several concepts I had my eye set on posted, and about 4 more sketch pages. I'm not trying to make excuses, of course, some of this is because I've been driving at 'fixing' everything for my father while he's supposed to convalescing. Right now its hard to pin down time to draw. We're in this whirlwind phase of appointments that lead to another appointment, that get referred to a specialist who needs 2 different scans being done at 2 different days of the week, and those scans might end up with him having to go to the hospital at some point, depending on what is found.
Its even started to leak into my subconscious. I used to play a game called 'Rimworld' where there were times an in-game event called 'Dry Thunderstorms' would occur and cause all of these wildfires to ignite around the base/homestead you were trying to defend. Last night I had a dream that I was one of those little pawns that would run around on screen, trying to put out all the fires that kept igniting, frantically smacking my face into adorable cartoon flames over and over. Well done, brain, you were a little on the nose with that dream.
Its been kooky, kids. Just kooky.
After today's scans/appointments, I can hopefully (if nothing is found) figure out a day to just sit down, talk with folks again, and start sketching away at things that I've had to abandon for too long now. I apologize for how long this is taking too, but honestly there isn't a thing I can do to rush this.. I'm a very 'I need this fixed now' kind of person, maybe its the OCD in me, but some things just have to go on a point-A to point-B schedule, 'wanting' and 'needing' be damned.
Hoping for 10 min. to have a coffee. I miss sharing stuff with you all. Crossing fingers to have some personal time on Saturday to square things away.
-T.J.
Comments
Tim J.
After really overdoing it last Thursday I kind of realized that I was headed towards just wiping myself out physically and mentally. I'm going to try and take weekends as my off time now (providing I can get over my whole 'work all the time' mindset).
Tim J.
It has definitely been 'interesting' times lately, and I wildly overdid it this last Thursday, so the weekend was my 'off time'. Thanks muchly for the support though!
Garry Stahl
Remember, self care is not selfish. If you fall down, who picks up?
WorselTheV
You’ve got a long tough job ahead so ration your energy and attention where it is most needed. Take care, we’re not going anywhere.
