stasisdelirium
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Berrand Concepts
🕑 Added 2020-11-12 23:15:57 +0000 UTCI've started doing more concept work for the whole comic idea I've been batting around, and decided I wanted to try and iterate on what the hell Berrand's design for it would be. This is the third sheet that seemed to be the one that worked for him, though I still have to figure out his tattoos even if this is an 'earlier' version of him in the canon.
I was trying to get the 'bulk' of a lorrnathi warrior across. They tend to have a lot more on their frame than people do (at least people who don't do tons of bulk/bodybuilding). His people are Aegencaldi (from the Aegencald continent) and tend to be a larger 'stock' to withstand the rocky, almost Icelandic elements, and his specific clan were sea-faring folks.
I've had a complicated past with this character. He started out decades ago as a D&D character that 'clicked' and seemed to stick around in my head even after the game was put on hiatus. Its sometimes hard to explain the weird connections I feel with some of the people in my head and not come across as a lunatic. Though I think that boils down more to my lack of skill in communicating than it does the actual concept.
There's a belief in some cultures, in this case I think it was Tibetan, that some concepts can take on life and thought of their own if they are ruminated on. The belief of Tulpa, where thought can take on life.
Some people do indeed take on this self-driving and self-thinking quality when I think of them. Berrand was one of them (as is Cinders, and their family, for example).
At one point, he was the vehicle I could utilize to see things in Felwroth. The fandom term would be 'fursona' but I tend to use 'Avatar' as Berrand was more someone whose personality I wished I could have, rather than a representation of myself.
When I was at a really, really low point mentally, I began taking out frustrations on him, referring to the character as a 'big dimwitted idiot' or 'too thick to come up with much to say'. This was a third party way I could attack myself, of course, as I'm one of those folks who has serious issues with self-loathing (medicated now, but always there).
I stopped doing this after I had an intense dream where Berrand pleaded with me to stop heaping this hate and abuse on him, and on myself. I don't have many intense dreams. Much of it is just forgettable nonsense of a brain de-fragging itself. But this was one of the handful of utterly clear, emotional dreams I carried with me unto consciousness.
Since then, I've let him be. I've watched him build a really good life, got to know a lot of his quirks, and saw more of the world through his eyes. I don't know if I'd ever note him as an 'avatar' anymore, as I've adopted the utter null neutrality of the skull on any site I needed icons for, but I can at least appreciate that he didn't deserve any of that ire he got. He's a gentle giant of a person, who just wants to make furniture in his retirement. His story is a long one, and has a lot of 'adventure' in it, so he gets to have a well deserved rest.
And yes, he petted a reixa once.
-T.J.
Comments
Tim J.
I definitely need to write more about him I think. I sometimes forget that the info I have on him resides entirely in my head so far. ;) He's originally from a clan in the Aegencald (A southern boreal/sub-arctic continent) but after some trials and tribulations (I'll be fleshing this out more in the graphic novel I think) he's had to travel pretty far and wide. These days, he's married to Cinders. He has been for quite some time. He's part of a 'herd' that also includes Aodhan, a priest of Aos (the Solstafir), Sherdaylyn, A Reixa from Lathreadon, and a possible third person (still writing that). They have four kids, two from Cinders -Anders and Ahani, as well as two adopted -Terenos (a reixa) and Annabelle (A haunock from Orthienne). They live in a planar realm known as the Haustrforn, dominated by a massive tree that serves as a beacon of arcana. And his life is quiet now, which he's grateful for. he makes all manner of furniture, benches, and things to outfit the new planar home. And sometimes he pets a squirrel :)
Tim J.
I know, scientifically, there's easy explanations for it. Alter-egos and all that. But I tend to not want to look behind the curtain and let them live out their lives. Often, it just takes a bit of prompting. A question or two directed towards them, to get them to answer :)
Tim J.
Alter-ego works just as well, I think. Its a strange cross-pollination of ideals and personality, sometimes popping up in the mind's eye out of nowhere :)
Kubulai
I like the information given, but there's no family relationships. As near as I can tell from past drawings, he once had a wife who came with him to his present home, and had children with her there. I imagine Cinders becoming a close friend of the family early on, with room to grow into Berrand's new love interest later.
Kubulai
That's amazing, that Berrand could take on a life of his own and talk to you. Of all the characters I've thought up, I feel like I know only one well enough for him to do the same with me. He hasn't, but maybe one day.
David J.
"I tend to use 'Avatar' as Berrand was more someone whose personality I wished I could have, rather than a representation of myself." I applied the term 'alter-ego' to my relationship with GhostPony for much the same reason. He recently appeared in a dream and it has me freaked out a bit.
