stasisdelirium
patreon
Some news for this month.
🕑 Added 2020-12-08 05:44:56 +0000 UTCI'm usually loathe to talk about life-issues in an online forum. Everyone has different things going on in their lives that aren't shared online because part of being an adult is dealing with things as they come on their own.
However, because this current life situation is going to have an impact on my work here, and the upcoming patron sketch for December.
So, a couple of things to note:
1) I will largely be doing colour works this month from existing art. I might not have many, or even any new sketches for this month. But I have a large backlog of images I can pull from to do painted and coloured works from for December.
2) I will have to postpone the patron sketch for this month (December). Note that even if the next folks on the list do cancel their patronage at the end of this month, they will still receive the offer of a sketch. One of the bonuses for the $10 tier is that it guarantees at least one sketch. This will be a delay, not a cancellation.
Normally I'm really vague when it comes to family health issues, in this specific case I have to be more direct about some things going on to fully explain the situation.
Part of my working life is being an active and live-in caretaker for my father. Years back, my father had a stroke. It was a minor one that affected his ability to speak, leaving him with something called 'Expressive Aphasia'. He's also had a few other health issues that have left him more and more unable to get around as easily. One of which is progressive kidney disease. So I've been taking over helping him in situations where he needs to understand/speak to people, and taking care of his property as well as things like shopping/cooking/etc.
With the pandemic this year he has been, understandably, reluctant to want to go out anywhere. He's also been stubborn regarding things he needs to do to take care of his health. He's of sound mind, but is more angry at his inability to do things than willing to do anything to improve the situation he's in. I can only do so much to help, but I'll be frank, it's taken a hell of a toll on me as well.
I'm someone who has been diagnosed with, and am treated for, Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I also deal with a few other mental-health issues, one of which is Seasonal Affective Disorder, and while every cell in my body wants to scream and hide in bed, I literally cannot do that. My father's ability to eat, to get to appointments, and survive depends on my ability to 'get my shit together and go', to use a colloquial way of putting it.
In the last month, my father's health has been deteriorating. Its at a point where I have to argue with him to listen to his doctors. I have, reluctantly, started planning for a time when he may have to go to the hospital whether he likes it or not. A stressful thing even at the best of times, multiplied by COVID still being a thing.
This has left me absolutely creatively wrecked. In the last month and a half I've found it incredibly hard to pull anything creative from the swirling mess in my head. I'm burnt out on ideas, and very, very tired.
So I apologize to everyone for not being able to do new sketches this month. I find solace in inking, and in doing colours and digital paintings. Its relaxing, thus the decision to do a painting month more than a sketch month.
I just need to have the month not to worry about getting new stuff done, and take a break, and just paint. I hope you all can understand. This is by no means a permanent thing, but I did want to be honest, especially when it comes to doing patron sketches and showing new slices of the world.
Thank you all. And again, I'm sorry that I won't be as productive outside of coloured work. The comic writing stalled, as did the thumbnailing for the first few pages. I just haven't been able to force myself to work at it.
I do have outlets for mental help. And if need be, have people nearby that can help in a physical sense as well (though right now we're literally under one of the most useless lockdowns I've ever experienced. We can't visit one another, but can go to fitness clubs, churches and bars all we want.)
I wish you all good health. I hope Christmas can at least be a time of peace for everyone. I'll see you all next post, which is likely to be a colour version of the Soot picture posted last month.
-T.J.
Comments
Tim J.
This year has been... Yeah, it's been a beast. Here's hoping 2021 has less teeth.
Tim J.
It's very appreciated! Its a lot of stress, but there's a game-plan in place now, and I have a couple people locally that I've known for most of my life who offered help (well, told me to stop being stubborn and accept help). One of whom is a homecare nurse who can help out more with the medical side of things.
Tim J.
Its appreciated :) And I do tend to try and 'fix everything' only to get frustrated when I come across things I can't fix or finish, so I tend to put more effort into the things I can control. Not a bad thing in some regards, but it can be too much at times when I don't limit myself.
Tim J.
Luckily I had a friend and his wife reach out to see if I needed help. I've known them for ages, and they're like family, and they realized I was being stubborn and not asking for help (I'm bad at that). She's a homecare nurse and has been offering to help which has been a huge help. I guess I just fell into the 'I have to do all this myself' trap that I do now and then.
Tim J.
It's very appreciated :)
Tim J.
It's very appreciated. In the last couple days we've had some help come in from local friends here, one of which is a medical professional, who's very adept at getting through the 'stubborn' defenses my father puts up. So the stress levels have finally started to fall :)
MountainGoat
No worries whatsoever -- I'm not going anywhere.
TacomaWerewolf
Coloring is a great idea, you could even do a raffle of colorizing past patreon reward sketches.
WorselTheV
Take care of your dad and don't forget to take some time for yourself. We'll be here.
Perfesser Bear
If you pull something out of the stack and color it once in a while, we should be happy with that. This is part of the reason I got out of the healthcare field back in the 1970s -- it's exhausting.
Kubulai
I am no stranger to stubborn ailing family members and I understand completely. And while I know you've been dealing with this a long time...this year, man. This year has taken a lot from all of us.
Kubulai
And that.
Kubulai
I'm going to make use of some of that myself.
BadgerB0y
All good, man. You’re doing good work on here and at home. No lack of respect for ya! You strike me as the type to “under-promise and over-deliver”. You do such great things, and it is noble you’re working so hard with your father. I’d encourage you to not feel bad about doing the right things in your life :)
MishaFox
I've been there my friend. Took care of Mom for a long time and it was stressful. If I can help feel free to ask. Just remember this will not last and things will get better eventually.
TacomaWerewolf
Know that there's a lot of people going through what you're going through, see if there's a caregiver support group, even if it's just a zoom meeting.
TacomaWerewolf
For anxiety phosphatidylserine and ashwagandha
TacomaWerewolf
If you're worried about coronavirus take 5,000 IU of vitamin d, quercetin and vitamin c. There's also promising research that the old MMR booster shot can provide some protection
TacomaWerewolf
Get a blue light bulb and use it to read 15 minutes in the morning. Take a vitamin d, magnesium supplement, and two fish oil capsules a day. You'd think a multivitamin would do it but most of them are garbage with not nearly enough of the important stuff to make a difference.
TacomaWerewolf
As the days get darker here's a few things you can do to fight off the depression.
Pihko Misit - "Smokepaw"
If there is no other gesture, please do accept this most hearty of virtual hugs. Do mind the little bits of fur. Us wolves are a bit "sheddy" this time of year.
