Urmie
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Chapter 95: Enough
🕑 Added 2025-05-06 23:20:54 +0000 UTC“Body warmth?”
“Body warmth.”
Samaya raised an eyebrow. She did not know how much her believed the man, damn that unreadable face of his. He knew some poisons were sensitive to heat and broke down when they came to contact with a certain amount of it. She also knew some poisons were equally prone to spread and get worse when in contact with heat. And some had no reaction at all.
Which one was this?
But then again, this was not the usual poison. This was a poison that attacked a person’s energy, their qi. And she knew shit all about qi, let alone poisons affecting it.
Her raised eyebrow and pause must have been enough to convey her doubts.
“We were merely answering your question,” the man said, making Samaya blink at him. “You need not move, beloved concubine.”
She stared at him for a long moment before … “Tch.” The sound slipped from her lips before she could stop it. She got up, letting the robe completely fall off her. The man was already closing his eyes when she did so, but her motion directed his attention toward her. She stood against the firelight, the beautiful blue dudou gently clinging to her body, her sleeves bare, and only a pair of hunting trousers covering her lower body.
It had truly been a while since she was this exposed in front of another person. Well… other than her maids. This was nothing in the modern world. But this world had a different definition of modesty and decency and Samay found that she had… gotten used to it. She was by no means shy or uncomfortable. It was just… strange.
She shook the feeling off and walked to the man with slow, deliberate steps, intentionally adding a sway to her hips. She tried to guage the man’s reaction. She was not trying to actively seduce the man. But she could not resist the temptation to tease him a little. She’d been holding herself back for so long… it had not been a problem until she met this man, who made her wish to lose all inhibitions in those silent, intimate moments they shared, where not one article of clothing or accessory was removed and yet the the air between had always been charged with some… strange electric.
The man was as expressionless as ever, but Samaya saw his eyes roaming over her figure. Well, at least he knew how to appreciate a woman.
Once she reached the man, she looked down at him. This was a rare occasion, with her towering over him. It broke so many protocols that if the Empress or Empress Dowager found out, her wrist might fall off from writing all the scriptures they assign her as punishment. But she could not bring himself to care.
Tilting her head, she asked softly. “Well? How do we do this? And please do not say I must perform my wifely duties, I am too exhausted at the moment and so are you.”
For the first time, Samaya caught a flicker of amusement in his eyes. It was gone as soon as it appeared.
“Does that mean you will perform your wifely duties once neither of us is exhausted?”
A few months ago, her answer would have been a resounding “no”. But now, she couldn’t help but pause and think. Would she? She asked herself for a moment. Imagined it. A shiver ran down her spine. Surprisingly enough, she found that she did not mind. Just the thought of it made heat pool inside of her.
She gave a nonchalant shrug, deliberately dousing the fire that flickered inside of her. “Maybe.”
For once, the man’s surprise was clear on his face. It was only the slight widening of his eyes and a sharp, almost inaudible draw of breath. But on someone as stoic and reserved as the Emperor, it was more than enough to expose his emotions. She suppressed a smirk of satisfaction at having evoked a reaction from him.
“Well?”
The man did not take longer than a moment to compose himself. He did not quite uncross his legs, but he did push them forward, bent at the knees and crossed at the calves, creating a small space for her. She did not hesitate to turn around and plop down on the space, bend her knees, and plant her feet firmly before the man’s crossed calves.
She then leaned back against the man, her bare back pressing against the man’s chest, their skins touching for the first time. Her breath hitched inaudibly, and it took everything in her to suppress the shiver that threatened to run down her spine. The man was… cold … and yet he was running warm. She could feel the warmth of the man’s skin against her own, the hardness of his muscles, the way his chest rose and fell with every breath he took, the way something powerful and contained thrummed under his skin… she was acutely aware of every detail of every part of the man’s skin in contact with hers. She had never been more aware of the man’s presence. Ignoring the invisible tension in the air would have been far harder had they not been both bone tired. The urge to just let go of the tension and relax against the man was almost overwhelming.
She felt a hand snake around her waist, a few inches below her breasts. Despite the thin layer of cloth separating them, she could acutely feel the muscles flexing and pressing against her own abdomen.
“What are you doing?” She asked softly.
“Holding you,” the man replied easily, as if his actions did not threaten to send her heart into a spiral. “We do need you to be settled comfortably against Us.”
She scoffed. “Why do I not believe that?”
“You’re free to move, Ya’er.”
She did not move.
“Why do you feel both… cold and hot?”
There was a slight yet strange pause from the man at her question. “You can feel that?”
She frowned. “Am I not supposed to?”
There was another pause before the man spoke, answering her previous question rather than the immediate one.
“It is because Our qi is disrupted. We are gathering and circulating qi back into Our golden core right now. There is a pause in between. The temperature oscillates.”
That was utterly fascinating. So, it seemed this strange energy could also affect the temperature of the body. She knew people who would love to cut these people open and unearth all the mysteries hidden inside their bodies. Luckily for her husband and others like him, she was not one of those.
“I see.” She sighed softly. “Well, I still don’t believe you fully. So, do not try anything.”
“Or else?” The man chuckled. “Would you subject us to the same hospitality you afforded Young Master Kang.”
She resisted the urge to tense. The man was completely relaxed against her. His tone was no question, no probe, but a mere statement. He knew. Samaya really should not be surprised.
“I would not be opposed to it. It would be a shame, though. You have so many concubines waiting for you.”
The man offered nothing but a chuckle.
“How did you know?” She asked softly.
She felt the man’s chest vibrate against her back as he hummed softly. “I had suspected as soon as Minister Kang came with his complaint,” he started. “But I became certain at the trial.”
The man hummed again, in affirmation. He then leaned down ever so slightly as he spoke right above her ear. “Molten gold poured in honey. An apt descriptor for your eyes, Ya’er, especially when they reflect the firelight.”
Her breath hitched, audibly this time. Had the man noticed such a small, intimate detail of hers? When had he looked? How closely had he looked? Her mind flashed back to the countless times that he would stare at her, intensely, unblinkingly. Something like an electric current travelled down to the very tips of her fingers at the image. Was he as obsessed with her eyes as she was with his? The feeling intensified.
The man’s voice pulled her out of her frenzied thoughts. “We find it displeasing that that scum was the one to think of it.”
Samaya chuckled softly at his words, though the sound carried a bitter edge. “That scum,” she echoed. “An apt descriptor. I am surprised he noticed my eyes amidst… everything. I was making sure he felt the consequences of his actions. He did not have the soul for it besides. Just ... appetite."
There was a silence between them.
“I will not apologise,” she said suddenly, her voice sharper than before. “That bastard destroyed so many lives. Snuffed Rin’s life out like a damned candle. I would do it all over again.”
“I gave him exactly what he deserved.”
The Emperor didn’t move, but she could feel the tension radiating off of him now, not toward her, but around her. He didn’t speak, didn’t judge.
“I’ve done worse,” she muttered. “But few things I’ve enjoyed more.”
His voice, when it came, was low. “You need not apologise. Not for this.”
That surprised her. She turned her head slightly but didn’t look back. The man did not offer any more words.
She exhaled shakily. “But truly, a man like him does not have the ability to truly look into a woman’s eyes and see the soul beneath.”
Her voice must have taken on a wistful note, because after a moment of tense silence, the man asked softly. “Speaking from experience?”
“Maybe.”
“So, there was someone,” the Emperor said, more observation than question.
She did not know what made her do it - perhaps the raw vulnerability permeating between them at that moment - but Samaya gave a small nod. “Once. A long time ago.”
Samaya should have regretted the words the moment they left her mouth. She should have thought of it as a mistake to reveal something so intimate to a man who could have her executed for it. But... she did not.
The crackle of the fire was the only sound for a beat.
“He wasn’t perfect,” she said. “But he saw me. Really saw me. All the sharp edges. All the things people said made me too much.” Her voice faltered slightly. “He looked at me like I was everything.”
She didn’t notice when her fingers curled loosely over the Emperor’s arm where it rested on her abdomen.
The Emperor was utterly still.
“Where is he?” He asked, his voice strangely tight.
She tensed and exhaled shakily. “He’s … gone. He was gone long before I fo… had Manu.”
“So… before we met.”
She tilted her head. “You could say that.”
Another beat of silence.
“Do you… miss him?”
“All the time.” Samaya let out a small, humorless laugh. “I don’t even notice it most of the time. It is like a … dull ache from an old injury that acts up from time to time. Strange, isn’t it? How the phantom of the past can still live inside you? Not in the way you love someone now, not in the way you want them. But like a splinter in your soul. Always there. Always aching.”
Ever since arriving at this place, she had not been able to dwell on him. It was always her, running around across the tavern, the underground, and the countryside on mission after mission, all the while taking care of Manu. Her responsibilities and the challenges she was forced to confront had not let her think. But now… now, she was. She could feel the pain, as fresh as it was all those years ago, emerging deep inside her.
She didn’t see the Emperor’s expression, but she felt the sudden tension in the air. When he finally spoke, his voice was low and controlled. “You mourn him still.”
Samaya blinked, surprised by the question. She considered it. “No. Not like before. I don’t ache the same way. But some scars don’t fade. You just stop noticing them most of the time.”
The silence that followed was different - thicker, heavier. The Emperor’s grip around her waist had grown subtly firmer, holding her as if she would disappear if he let go.
“You mourn a ghost,” he said, the calm in his voice too measured.
“I live with one,” she replied, just as measured. Then, after a beat: “But he’s gone. And I’m here.”
She leaned back against him more fully, resting her head against his shoulder, nestled against his jaw. The tension didn’t vanish, but it changed shape - wrapped itself around her in something quieter, steadier. Something like possession. Something like protection.
“That should be enough,” she whispered.
He said nothing. But the hand at her waist remained. The warmth of his qi, ebbing and flowing like an uncertain tide, surrounded her.
Samaya closed her eyes, breathing in the quiet. For once, it was enough.
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Author's Note: The first TRULY intimate and vulerable moment between them. And, as the kids say, something's cooking! (Is that how they say it? XD)
Thanks for reading! Lemme know your thoughts in the comments below!
