Purveilor
patreon
Chapter 65 - Amperdons!
🕑 Added 2025-09-18 17:23:19 +0000 UTC"Have you had the taste of Amperdon steak? It is a culinary impossibility. The meat tingles in your mouth as it melts with every chew. And the texture, oh goodness. This is the taste of magic! The taste of the divine! I only wish to make the experience accessible to all!"
- Jules Monet
*A French farmer when first interrogated about how he had managed to acquire live amperdons on Earth. The man would only talk about the taste and preparation of the creatures.
Four days after The Realm resynced with Earth.
A young adventurer fell, tumbling down a hill as the roar of a monster echoed from above. The man righted his roll as he kicked up then spun in the air before landing heavily on one leg. His other leg was bloody and lightly reddened from the constant rubbing against the sharp grass.
He wore rough mismatched medieval armor that had dents everywhere. Armor that had been put in its paces and wouldn’t have looked out of place from a soldier in the Trials. It had to have been a [Warrior].
Their team came running after the injured adventurer. Maintaining a bit of a distance to show they were friendly. Enzo waved and smiled, the adventurer was human and looked a little young
“Hoi! Are you alright there?”
“Ouch, yeah. I’m alright, just messed up a little, that’s all.”
Another roar echoed from above the hill as their team tensed.
“Where’s your team? Do you know if that amperdon herd has an alpha?”
“Ah, I’m a fourther grinding out skills. And no, there’s no alpha in that pack, I don’t think they saw where I went flying. Amperdons and bad eyesight, you know.”
The four adventurers that had come to rescue a fellow adventurer visibly relaxed at that. A herd without an alpha wasn’t really a threat. They also didn’t think the fourther grinding out skill progression was a threat to the four of them either. Especially when he was already in such rough shape.
His teammate spoke without thinking.
“Grinding out skills alone like this, you gotta be desperate.”
Enzo wanted to slap his [Rogue].
“Lars! Don’t be an ass.”
The fourther laughed and waved them off. The casual demeanor suddenly put up warning bells but quickly went away when the adventurer winced and put an arm on his shoulder.
“No problem. Yeah my team found a better [Warrior], you know how it is.”
“Ah, asshole team members, can’t relate.”
“Lars! Sorry, he was never spanked by his parents, what’s your name, adventurer?”
“John, John Furself”
The leader of the group got up to the fairly young fourther, he stretched out his hand, the other adventurer looked at the hand and paused. Then he shook it, favoring one leg.
“Well, John, I’m Enzo, leader of Fighting Fancy. Have you heard about recent Guild news?”
“Been slightly out of touch in the past few days, sort of missed my check in. What’s up?”
“Ah, that makes sense. There’s been some unusual migration, we’re trying to figure out what’s going on but it’s getting messier. I wouldn’t engage unless you’re confident escaping multiple herds.”
“Well shit. Thanks for the heads up.”
“Do you need an escort?”
The rest of Fighting Fancy shifted uncomfortably at their leader’s words. None of them really wanted to take on a sudden escort mission now. The fourther just waved them off.
“Nah, I have healing potions. Just don’t want to use themm. It’s about time for me to check back in. Thanks for the info, I really appreciate it.”
“Alright then, good luck and safe travels.”
The wounded fourther started limping off in a different direction.
“Hey wait!”
The solo adventurer froze in his tracks and slowly turned around. Enzo pointed to the direction the fourther was heading.
“That way’s a leveled zone, if you want to head to the closest free zone portal it’s that way.”
“Ah yeah, I forgot I’m not in a thirder anymore. Silly me.”
Enzo watched the [Warrior] limp off. It wasn’t rare for people to be grinding out skills in lower sectors, it normally meant that they weren’t as confident in themselves, or didn’t have a team they could rely on. Though something felt off about that assessment.
“Hey John! Are you joining the pre-class tournament?”
The man turned around, he gave a self deprecating smile and pointed at his whole broken gear.
“Do I look like I’d get far in the tourney? Nah, I’ve just filled up my Trial slots, that’s all.”
Now Enzo felt like a bit of a jackass.
“Ah, sorry. Well, you’ll see us compete, we plan on going far while blitzing it there. We’d already be fourthers if it weren’t for Guild work. Come see us then and maybe we can have a friendly spar.”
“Well, I might just do that. I’ll cheer for you guys.”
The four adventurers saw the fourther bound off. He moved surprisingly quickly for an injured adventurer, but that made sense. He was a fourther after all.
“Man grinding out skills like that solo, dude must be desperate.” Tenin, their [Mage], commented.
Lars put his hands behind his head.
“Eh, he’s a fourther messing around in the third sector. We should all be able to solo a herd by then.”
Enzo chucked a piece of grass at Lars.
“You’re such an ass, come on.”
–
Sector Three was most famous for its rolling hills. Long waist-high grass shimmered in the sunlight as wind rippled through it. From far away it might look like waves on a beautiful emerald ocean.
Up close?
It was a terrifying sight of hazardous flowing blade-like grass that could cut the skin of ordinary humans. Or even third realm [Mages].
Yeah, [Mages] had it rough.
It wasn’t that Emerald Hills made up the majority of Sector Three. After all, Sector Three was estimated to be slightly smaller than the size of Eurasia. Different areas had their own environments, climates and monsters of their own.
The reason why Emerald Hills were considered the main attraction? The sharp shiny grass grew like weeds.
There were already concerns about patches of grass that had begun to spread into the sectors that neighbored it. Hell, you could even find patches of emerald grass growing on Earth, the seeds tracked by irresponsible adventurers using system portals.
With the tall grass came along massive roving herds. Monsters that grazed on the fields were aplenty. The abundance of their preferred foods meant that herds could get dangerously big, sometimes so big that adventurers in the eighth realm had to be called to cull the numbers.
It wasn’t uncommon for third realm adventurers to stay the hell away from free zones, sticking in leveled zones where the environment was a little more stable.
Enzo’s team probably had quests to make sure the herds weren’t collapsing into the leveled zones all at once. The system portals in there could only be protected by lower realm adventurers, and they didn’t tend to be the best at defensive sieges.
Despite the potential for things to go disastrously wrong, the task was still given to third realm adventurers. A higher realm adventurer sweeping all the issues themselves would gain little achievements.
Meanwhile a quest that actually mattered would give great achievements to an appropriate realm adventurer.
Ryan kept limping forward as someone flew overhead. They were in formation with another group of fliers. He gave them a weak wave, pretending to be friendly.
Those fliers were his biggest concern. Though the chance of them realizing that he was the great and terrible Artigan was slim. Ryan wasn’t wearing the mask, nor would his Epic’s passive impact adventurers that were watching his slow ass limp across the sector.
Though his Epic triggering a fear effect had been the greatest concern with Fighting Fancy. Ryan had seen them coming and had to quickly come up with a plan to look as weak as possible. He was pretty sure they almost saw through it too.
Now that had been shit luck, the chance of meeting another third realm team should have been abysmal.
Ryan walked up to the marker he left with a spear. It was barely visible among the rolling grass. He picked up the hidden bag containing all his other gear. Among them was his [Rogue] outfit and the legendary mask. All tucked away while he went around with his real face.
Remembering the handshake he chuckled.
“Complacent and stupid.”
Fighting Fancy hadn’t noticed anything wrong. It had been so tempting to show them the error of their ways.
He could have killed them all… Seriously a handshake?
Ryan could have pulled in the leader and slit his throat in less than a second. The [Mage] would have died second, no, third. He’d kill one of their [Rogues] during the surprise and do a [Volatile Antimagic Throw] when their [Mage] instinctively put up a barrier.
“So dumb, don’t they know a dangerous blacklister could be stalking in the long grass?”
Well, Artigan was here to teach them all that lesson. He started to make his way to Lazhen, a hum following his ‘limp’.
[Instant Dodge] Leveled up!
[Instant Dodge] Level 11 -> 12
–
Five days after Ryan had returned from the Trial.
His spear stabbed into the alpha amperdon as it roared at him. Ryan used [Double Stab] and a spectral spear stabbed in tandem. If [Double Stab] hadn’t been maxed out, he doubted the skill would have worked with a spear.
The amperdon tanked both stabs and shook its body as the emerald grass that grew out of its hide started vibrating.
A razor sharp defense.
Ryan used [Instant Dodge] before the first blade of grass could even touch him. The alpha amperdon roared, the roar knocked its herd out of their fear as they started to charge at the singular adventurer.
[Unrelenting Aura of Intimidation]
Ryan activated his Epic in full. It didn’t stop the amperdons, he wasn’t expecting it to. He had used it so that the herd of amperdons would double down.
Amperdons had the rough shape and size of rhinoceroses, just without the horns. The parts where they differed was that large stalks of emerald grass grew from their thick, almost dirt-like hide.
In a sense they were like rhinoceros hedgehogs.
Though, just like both comparable animals, ampersons also had terrible eyesight.
They started crashing into one another in their messy charge. Screaming in pain and accusatory grunts as the amperdon herd started bucking into each other. Trying to use their natural defenses and bulk to make sure they weren’t the ones getting trampled on.
Another roar came from the alpha, trying to steady its herd. But it was too late now, Ryan’s laughter drowned it out.
He sidled next to the ear of an amperdon that had turned its head to hear its alpha better.
“Boo!”
It bucked hard, kicking the knees out from the amperdon next to it. Another amperdon trampled over the one that had broken its knees. The magically sharp grass slicing into the softer, less protected underhide. They screamed and squealed as the herd started piling onto each other.
Ryan maintained the chaos. He slunk his way towards the alpha, sometimes ducking under the tall grass to disappear, sometimes jumping and surprising another amperdon into another.
There was no fear in the alpha’s eyes, but there was anger, anger and a cold intelligence.
It understood that it had bumped into a much more dangerous foe than it had first expected. Ryan took that moment to stand up and point with his spear towards the leveled zone.
The proud alpha amperdon refused to submit, it roared a different tone. A challenge. The other amperdons stopped trying to charge as they slowly reorganized and backed off, making a clearing for the two of them.
Ryan had already gone through a few of these.
For herds, this was supposed to be reserved for fights between two apex monsters. It made sense in a weird tribalistic way. Two apex monsters fighting could easily damage the very herd they were trying to fight over. It was better to have a contest between the two strongest and acquiesce to the winner’s demand.
Ryan couldn’t help but grin at the idea that he himself was being considered a monster.
It wasn’t too far off.
He spun his spear. It wasn’t his preferred weapon, but he wasn’t risking his identity by taking out a sword. Best to use something completely different.
Ryan charged. He saw the alpha’s eyes widen as it took in his speed. At the third realm with [Hasten], he could run faster than a racecar. The emerald grass on the alpha’s back glowed as it kicked itself sideways. It slammed on its front right foot, using it as a pivot as it swept out with its backside.
The timing was impeccable, if Ryan had continued forward he would have been smashed into paste. Unfortunately for the amperdon, [Hasten] wasn’t like [Instant Dodge], he had full control. He jumped backwards as the amperdon’s backside swept in front of him, just barely dodging the extended grass.
He waited just out of range of the amperdon, expecting it to continue or stop its momentum.
The alpha stomped on its back legs as the sweeping momentum changed into its front bulk.
Oh shit.
He dove at the sudden shift, even using [Instant Dodge] to carry him. When he had gotten a good distance away, he heard the grunt from the amperdon wall a little behind him. Ryan was now at the side where the amperdon alpha had started from.
Where the perimeter of the circle of amperdons were.
The surrounding amperdon herd did not face inwards, they faced outwards, backside pointing towards the clearing. Sharp emerald grass threatening to slash anyone that wanted to leave the fighting arena.
The alpha spun around the clearing–like a very oddly shaped spinning top. It would have been hilarious… if it wasn’t getting faster.
It used its ground legs to kick off, then used another leg as a pivot, then kicked off again when the balance was just right. Spinning its bulk around like mad. It was a ridiculous ability that no other amperdon had ever used before.
Scratch the previous thought, it was fucking hilarious, Ryan laughed as he moved around the circle. He took out Felsley’s phone and started recording the funny spinning monster.
Ryan kept this up, wondering how long it would take for the alpha to get tired, or get dizzy.
That was when the amperdons stepped closer, tightening the circle, one step at a time. Trying to make the enclosure smaller for their spinning leader. Ryan blinked, suddenly realizing he was in more danger than he expected.
He could still escape, but that would mean that he’d have lost the battle for dominance.
And he couldn’t have that.
“Well, no more messing around.”
He took out a throwing knife from his pants pocket. He activated his skill, imbuing it with a bit more energy than normal, just to be safe. Then he threw as hard as he could at the spiky spinning top.
[Volatile Antimagic Throw]
Ordinary emerald grass was only slightly magical, the skill had done nothing when he threw it onto the ground. The grass that grew from amperdon’s backs were thicker, sharper and had oh so much more concentrated magic. The glowing white knife landed on the dense, wild mana on the back of the alpha amperdon.
The skill hit the grass, went through the roots of the plants and caused a chain reaction. An explosion radiated from the entirety of the alpha’s backside.
The spinning amperdon squealed as it spun out of control, it slammed into the amperdon wall eliciting more squeals of pain and surprise. Angry honks and grunts came from the collapsed wall as the other amperdons turned around to see the aftermath.
The other amperdons gave the alpha space. A huge chunk of the alpha’s beautiful emerald grass coat had been burnt and broken, its backside was a singed mess as it stared hatefully at the recording [Rogue].
Then Ryan activated his Epic in full, this time the alpha stepped back, uncertain if it wanted to keep going for another round.
Ryan once again pointed a spear towards a certain direction.
This time the amperdon alpha bowed its head and grunted. It turned and squealed at its herd.
Ryan watched as the herd parted around him. They lumbered their way towards the leveled zone. He checked the system time and calculated what time it would be in LA.
[Volatile Antimagic Throw] Leveled up!
[Volatile Antimagic Throw] Level 1 -> 2
[Return To Earth]
–
Ryan woke up back on Earth before the break of dawn. He didn’t stretch or roll his shoulders but simply rose as he carefully and quietly walked around the tent someone was sleeping in. He tuned out the nasty smells as he started jogging at a reasonable, human pace. There was a sea of tents, homeless people around him, people just trying to find a place to sleep because they had no place to stay on their own.
He stopped by a cracked pavement about five minutes from where he had left his body. He raised some of the broken pavement and moved the dirt to find his phone and wallet in a ziploc bag.
It was 6am. Good enough to take an actual two hour nap. He made his way back to his spot among the homeless tents. Ryan lay on the dirt ground, uncaring about the weather or the smells.
Then, right there he slept.
This had been his morning routine for the past four days. It wasn’t a hard life. Ryan’s body was tougher than the pavement he had walked on. The only thing that really annoyed him was that he’d hear things he couldn’t tune out. The first time he stopped by while looking for a place to sleep he had intervened.
Then he decided to stay here. Ryan had stopped another two incidents. Those two were just stupid teens doing stupid things, a glare had been enough to make them piss their pants and run in fear.
It was no wonder adventurers stuck to the nicer cities on Earth.
It was eight AM when he woke up. Nobody truly bothered the homeless at times like these.
Ryan took a shower at the gym he still had membership for, and after a pat down, his clothes looked only a little worse for wear. He had taken his clothes from Milock’s trunk and put them in a locker he had paid $50 for six months.
He had 12 bucks remaining and a dream.
A dream that Pinkie would pick up her goddamn phone and help him launder his millions of dollars.
According to Milock, getting someone in The Realm to do a transaction and getting fresh money transferred out from a different account was the safest way. There were other methods that acted like washing money online or something but Milo had convinced him that those all had issues and it would be incredibly risky to get to a radio tower and transact the money himself without a dragonslayer to overlook him.
Ryan finished cleaning up and ran to Milock’s apartment.
During the day, he’d drop by Milo’s and go back to researching and plotting. During the night he'd sleep among the homeless so he could sneak into The Realm.
It made sense, the last thing he wanted to do was traumatize his friend by dying in The Realm and leaving his lifeless body on his bed.
…He was still having trouble with Barry’s lesson three.
Milock and Clara were already there waiting for him.
////
Comments
BilleoGraycite
Last chapter: 23 hours ago :D
Purveilor
100% agree
Myrdin
Sleeping among the homeless while he is in the realm is the most idiotic thing ever
Erebus
Thanks for the chapter 🙂
im Panda
Cattle stampede? I wonder what the thought process is for this scheme he's cooked up
Cruz115
Great chapter.
