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After AnimeCon: Silver Lining

🕑 Added 2024-01-13 16:43:03 +0000 UTC

Comments

Deon Joyner

That might have been an writing oopsie.

Deon Joyner

I honestly forgot and hadn't even considered that fleeting moment of her being slightly caring and remorseful when he got his shit kicked in. (He's such a bleeding heart)

Raven

One issue, charm+blood=vampire. Shouldn't the next step after restraint have been washing her face and mouth to get his blood out of the way to prevent vampirism? By current order, she would've become the vampire version.

AZ

Not going to lie. I was hoping to see more of the chloe we briefly had that was full of regret and remorse just before she kissed brian and became charmed the first time. That there's nothing to her character that's left redeeming rings a bit false to me because of that. The chloe -> Christine seems too extreme a personality shift that it feels like you've just killed chloe and stuffed someone else in their body which I guess we're going to have brian agonise over for the next hundred chapters.

Dastauf

You're absolutely right! This is a perfect pace for a dynamite chapter like this. Love it.

Jeanie6754

I wouldn't post that here, it's not nice. If you want to help him with edits the kind thing to do would probably just send a message though the discord or something 😸

Chas Becht

A few editing suggestions: "the speed at which his advanced was a blinding mess of glittering silver and ravenous red" "the speed at which **he** advanced **distorted the landscape into** a blinding mess of glittering silver and ravenous red" "it was as though he was—or at least, all of the many ragged pieces of him **were** — ~~were~~ slowly falling" "he was in deep deficit, and although **the** last dregs of power pushed through the attempt at a kiss," "openly, uncontrollably crying, ~~racked~~ **wracked** with sobs that shook her entire body."

Civer

I quibble at the Kelly's yelling a question at Christine switching that narration choice. As it was Rebecca that was stern with "Chloe/Christine" declaring her as Christine and that was the point she was adjusted in the narration. Otherwise I am in agreement on this being a good story, I wish The author gets some relief form the Monster that was Chloe as it can be out of his thoughts and that he feels better about his works.

Kim Jun

I loved the chapter! can't wait for the next one

Sgt Sak

Great chapter. Especially how Brian comes to grips with with how awful and damaging his “relationship” with Cloe was. I was there many years ago with the ex-wife. Well written, thank you. As a side note I purchased TT, amazing book!

MVFast

Thank you!!!

Zach

If we ever see her again, she'll have enough Christine memories that I'm hoping it's impossible for her to be entirely herself.

Jeanie6754

Thanks for the chapter. I know writing her can't be easy. Try and take it easy for the rest of the weekend.

AzureXIII

Thank you for the great chapter. I really liked seeing Brian trip into the magical world I can't wait to see how this all turns out. I enjoyed seeing Brian as he came to realize everything was a lie with Chloe and made him see how real everything was with the rest of the girls.

George Kappatos

With love you filthy heathen, with love... 😍❤️😚

Delta

When MLK said “only love can make an enemy into a friend” I think this is exactly what he had in mind.

Zaralith

I think you did a good job of showcasing Brian realizing just how bad his relationship with Chloe really was now that he has something good to compare to. You also do a good job of showing the chaos of each of the girls talking all at once and how overwhelming that world be. I think the only things that might be missing or need expansion is a tiny bit about how Steph is feeling or handling things (the simple mention of her being locked up, i think when Brian thinks towards her or when he loses connection because of the mirror magic would be a good spot, just some reaction from the bond, even just a twinge, or mentioning more specifically the lessening of rage when things go grey) and the other thing would be maybe flashes of thoughts or emotions as Brian careens through Chloe's mind the first time, just a tiny bit more than the jaggedness (the red bit way a perfect example). I like how she was described as Chloe in narration when speaking until Kelly snapped at her yelling Christine and then it switched to that, a nice detail that i appreciated when i caught it. Overall my only complaint is what most of us have, more, the story is great and i can't wait for the next part. I have read a ton of sci Fi and fantasy from all of the greatest authors and enough smut to make a nunnery into a brothel and the way that you have characterized everyone in these stories is nothing short of amazing. I put the visceral hatred you were able to bring out when first showing Chloe's perspective to be on par or better with the rawness of the scenes in Wizard's First Role when Richard was kidnapped by the Morde Sith. I truly believe your writing would win awards if the major categories didn't get their panties in a twist over the explicit content. Truly, this story has been an obvious love letter to everyone who enjoys comics, games, anime, etc. and i can't wait for more.

Mocherthrath

I agree I am glad Chloe is gone. I want to see Christine bear her soul to everyone and share her pain of her parents relationship problems.

Todd Neal

However will Brian replenish his magic...? 😛🍑🍆💦

Khuri

Let this sit and breathe for a while man. Write some Re:TT for a while and get your head in a better place before coming back here. Or write some side story stuff if you got any thing back burnering.

Khuri

Nah, I think that was intentional.

masknshadows

I was honestly not sure if the kiss would work or not. There were several different ways that scene could have played out, and very few worked out well for anyone. Chloe very much had them in a hole, metaphorically.

Toodles McGhee

Also, my word of advice - this is a crux point, and you want it to be fast-paced and to keep moving, and more POV or exposition will just clutter it up and take away. I like this just as it is. Everybody can have their angst acknowledged in the next beat, while they wait for Brian to wake up and listen to Christine sobbing her despair.

Connor Willoughby

I don’t know how you write the Chloe parts anymore. They are so raw and PAINFUL to read in a way that I fail to describe with words alone, and I can only imagine that writing them is a thousand times worse. I am excited to see who Christine really is in the next chapter, to see her perspective and identify if this is just a personality previously locked in the brain of a traumatized woman or something altogether more magical. Thanks again for a fantastic chapter, and I can hardly wait for the next one

noah creed

Thank you for the chapter!

Toodles McGhee

Good job making the potential cure not seemin trite or facil. I do think that there's a potential typo - Christine is going to go back to the "cuck shed"??

mhaj58

I really hope that we’ve seen the last of Chloe. She’s not fun to read anymore.


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