Bitter Karella
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Midnight Pals: SIGMA
🕑 Added 2025-04-10 23:11:10 +0000 UTC[at the White House]
Donald Trump: so as i was saying we're putting tariffs on the moon
Trump: i know people like the moon
Trump: it's a beautiful moon
Trump: but it's not pulling its weight
Trump: it's gotta go
Trump: some people on the radical left are saying
Trump: the tides! what about the tides!
Trump: why are you whining about the tides?
Trump: i don't take responsibility for the tides
Trump: it's the biggest moon, some say its the best moon-
Larry Niven: never fear, mr president! SIGMA is here!
narrator: SIGMA is the secret code name for a think tank of costumed science fiction writers dedicated to advising the president on just whatever and stuff
Trump: what's this
Larry Niven: we're SIGMA
Niven: a think tank of costumed science fiction writers dedicated to advising the president on issues of our expertise
Niven: like if you happen to need advice on how to make a dyson sphere
Niven: do you need advice on how to make a dyson sphere by the way?
Niven: since the dawn of time, we've advised every US president on important matters of state
Niven: for obvious security reasons, of course, we must keep our identities secret-
Greg Bear: i'm Greg Bear
Niven:
Ben Bova: greg bear just said
Niven: yes i heard
Bear: I'm Greg Bear
Niven: Greg could you wait in the hallway
Bear: I'm Greg Bear
Niven: go talk to Don Jr
Donald Trump Jr: i'm donald trump jr
Bear: i'm greg bear
Trump Jr: i'm donald trump jr
Bear: i'm greg bear
Niven: as i was saying
Niven: since the dawn of time, we've advised every US president
Niven: if you need some really wild ideas, just absolutely unhinged crazy ideas that no sane person would ever consider
Niven: you come to SIGMA
Trump: no thanks, i'm covered
Trump: [into intercom] security
Niven: just give us a moment of your time, mr president!
Niven: here, let me give you an example of the sort of great idea that SIGMA can provide to you
Niven: so you know how healthcare is so expensive?
Niven: ok so what if
Niven: what if we spread rumors among the Latino community that hospitals steal your organs, so that they're too scared to seek medical treatment?
Niven: eh? eh?
Niven: pretty good eh?
Trump: you're thinking small, larry
Trump: you're thinking small, larry
Trump: way too small
Trump: we're not playing passive necropolitics anymore
Trump: we're playing active necropolitics now
Trump: more and more people are saying it
Trump: [on intercom] security we have 3 in here for disappearing
Trump: bah bye
Niven: haha you wouldn't disappear us
Niven: i mean c'mon
Niven: we're white
Trump: oh no we're disappearing white people too now
Trump: it's a whole new grid
Niven: don't worry, Mr President, SIGMA's got plenty of other wild ideas to share!
Niven: what if you made robots that could kill protesters?
Trump: you're late to the game, larry
Comments
T. Ledoux
Oh, they were the best!
Claire Hiria Ahuriri-Dunning
You are scarily good at capturing orange man's voice XD D:
Shirley R
The science fiction writers we LIKE can wear costumes too though, right? I can see NK Jemisin & Delila S Dawson as those two rogue Klingon sisters who were just fucking everybody's shit up for a while there.
