Bitter Karella
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Midnight Pals: Secret Identity
🕑 Added 2025-05-28 16:36:26 +0000 UTCChuck Tingle: good evening, my good chums
King: oh excellent! it's chuck tingle!
King: he's great, he's always so funny
Tingle: actually, chums, this is serious horror
King: what
King: what? you're not doing funny erotica anymore?
Tingle: i never did funny erotica, chum
King: i
King: what?
Tingle: that was serious erotica
King: i
King: what?
Barker: boy, was it!
Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, i call this the tale of camp Damascus
Stephen King: oh good i could use a good laugh!
Tingle: it's not a comedy, my good chum
Tingle: it's actually a harrowing tale of conversion camp torment torn straight from the headlines
King: i'm laughing already!
Poe: steve
King: no wait sorry
King: sorry that really came out wrong
Tingle: Rose is a typical teenage girl
Tingle: loving jesus
Tingle: obsessively cataloging obscure minutiae
Tingle: sounds always escaping her throat
Tingle: "luke, i'm being haunted by demons that dress like target employees" ejaculates rose
Tingle: "maybe you should pray on that" extrapolates rose's father luke
King: wait she calls her dad by his first name?
Tingle: why yes my good chum, just a normal teenage thing that teenagers do
Joe Hill: yeah steve get with the program
Tingle: rose sees these demons whose gums have receded to provide an unnatural length
King: an unnatural length?
Tingle: that's correct, my good chum
Tingle: an unnatural length
Barker: ok look
Barker: i'm just gonna ask the question everyone's thinking
Barker: are you chris pine?
Tingle: why would you think i was chris pine, my good chum?
Tingle: certainly i would consider that to be an absurd premise
Tingle: the very idea that i and Hollywood heartthrob chris pine would be the same person
Tingle: how mirthful!
Tingle: the very idea fills me with mirth!
Poe: clive, don't harass chuck
Barker: hey, i'm just asking questions
Poe: you're being very rude
Poe: besides everyone knows chuck is actually will wheaton
Koontz: guys if you want to know chuck tingle's real identity
Koontz: you should ask a detective
Poe:
Barker:
Barker: wow from the mouths of babes, huh?
Barker: so nobody knows his real identity but i'm pretty sure he's chris pine
Barker: what do you think?
Arthur Conan Doyle: can he touch cold iron without pain?
Barker:
Barker: edgar i'm gonna let you answer this one
Poe: uh well i haven't actually directly observed chuck handling any cold iron
Poe: but i'm pretty sure he could do it
Doyle: i'm not convinced
Doyle: i have reason to believe that this chuck tingle may actually be one of the fae folk
Poe:
Barker:
King:
Koontz:
Lovecraft:
King: of course!
King: it all makes sense!
Doyle: now this chuck tingle
Doyle: would you describe him as puckish?
Doyle: possibly impish?
Poe: oh no not anymore
Barker: he's serious now
Doyle: damnit!
Doyle: there goes that theory
Comments
Claire Hiria Ahuriri-Dunning
yay!!!! XD
Shirley R
He is fae, though 😆
Shirley R
Holy shit, I just made a Chris Pine comment on his latest Tumblr post 🤣 And THANK YOU for pointing out that he's very sincere about his erotica. He knows that there are parts of his stories that people find funny, but the stories themselves are all about Proving Love is Real. 💜
