Bitter Karella
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Midnight Pals: Weapons
🕑 Added 2025-08-09 18:50:58 +0000 UTCZach Cregger: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the weapons
Cregger: it's just out in theaters!
Cregger: so if you care about spoilers maybe stop reading
Cregger: i mean, seriously
Cregger: don't get mad at me
Cregger: i'm not even the real zach cregger
Cregger: the first thing i want to say is that i love gryllos pickles!
King:
Lovecraft:
Koontz:
Barker:
Poe: is that part of the story?
Cregger: no it's a personal declaration of love
Cregger: [eating pickle] yes! YES!!!
Cregger: they're even better when you're an internet microfiction caricature!
Cregger: so this is a story about kids who mysteriously disappear in the night
Cregger: they move in a weird way
Cregger: kind of like they were weaponized
Cregger: in the same sense that a feral person living in your basement is kinda like a barbarian
Jordan Peele: you're a whiz with titles, zach!
Cregger: this story is told from multiple perspectives
Koontz: ooo like roshambo!
Cregger: King: actually dean
King: i think you mean rashomon
Koontz: oh
Cregger: yeah
Cregger: yeah not really like that tbh
Cregger: like, from the perspective of the teacher, a parent, a cop, the principle, & a random dirtbag junkie
Mary Shelley: hold up
Shelley: who's this junkie
Shelley: i love him already
Barker: yeah he's fun!
Poe: let's have more of him
Koontz: i like him
Cregger:
Cregger: i was not expecting this
Cregger: the cop is worried because he was caught on camera assaulting the dirtbag junkie and there might be consequences
George Romero: ha! as if!
Romero: why would any cop be afraid of that?
Romero: explain that to me
Cregger: because its a work of fiction
Romero:
Romero: oh
Romero: fuckin ACAB!!!
Cregger: but we all know what the scariest thing of all is
Cregger: what if there was an old woman with too much make-up
Barker: oh shit
Poe: that is scary!
Lovecraft: [sweats] i'm hyperventilating
King: like, how much make up?
Cregger: like a clown's amount of make-up
King: ok yeah that's p scary
Comments
Ted
Imagine being a 9-year-old kid on a movie set and being told "Okay, you and sixteen other kids have to tear apart this dummy of an old lady. Just go absolutely feral, totally hog wild on rending this fake lady limb from limb. Just rip her apart like she's a blood pinata." I think that would be the greatest day of my life.
Shirley R
Nope
