Bitter Karella
patreon
Midnight Pals: Mr Gaunt
🕑 Added 2025-07-10 17:11:27 +0000 UTCJohn Langan: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of Mr Gaunt
Langan: so there's this guy who has a weird butler named Mr. Gaunt
Langan: and the thing about Mr. Gaunt is that he's really
Langan: hmm
Langan: well, how can i describe him?
Langan: he's really gaunt
Langan: but the REALLY scary thing about Mr. Gaunt
Langan: is that deep inside
Langan: under all his skin
Langan: he's a skeleton
Barker: john, everyone's a skeleton under the skin
Langan: no i mean he's a for real skeleton
Barker: john, everyone's a for real skeleton
Langan: that's right, Mr gaunt is actually the scariest monster of all
Langan: he's actually a spooky scary skeleton
Langan: he'll send shivers down your spine
Langan: shrieking skulls will shock your soul
Langan: and seal your doom tonight
Barker: ha ha a skeleton
Barker: he's a skeleton
Langan: yes
Barker: oh boy whoof ha ha i'm really shaking
Barker: i'm really ha ha scared of a ha ha skeleton
Dean Koontz: i think a skeleton is pretty scary
Barker: ha ha sure dean
Barker: of course you do ha ha
Barker: ha ha a skeleton! oooo that's rich
Barker: what's he gonna do? use his skeleton powers?
Langan: yes
Langan: he has all the powers of a skeleton
Langan: like, he can play himself like a xylophone
Langan: and uh
Langan: he can dance
Langan: skeletons love to dance
Koontz: that's true! skeletons do love to dance
Langan: you don't understand
Langan: he LOOKS like a guy
Langan: but he's actually a skeleton
Barker: how does he look like a guy?
Langan: oh, he wears a special suit
Langan: it's very convincing
Langan: think about it! what if you met a guy
Langan: but he had a skeleton inside him?
Barker: haha everyone has a skeleton inside them
Langan: yeah right
Langan: pull the other one, why don't you?
King: no clive is right, everyone has a skeleton
Langan:
Langan: what
Langan: are you telling me
Langan: that EVERYONE here has a skeleton inside them?
Poe: yes, john, everyone has a skeleton
Langan:
Langan: [sweats] oh my god, i'm surrounded
Poe: it's nothing to worry about, john
Poe: everyone has a skeleton inside
Poe: even you
Langan: what
Poe: it's not a big deal-
Barker: no no edgar let's see how this plays out
Langan: [staring in mirror] how is it possible that the thing i feared
Langan: was in me the whole time
Langan: is this my curse...
Langan: or
Langan: MY DESTINY????
Comments
T. Ledoux
Barker always doing the verbal equivalent of shitposting I live
Claire Hiria Ahuriri-Dunning
My 6yo loves skeletons so much, this post is so him coded, but I'm not going to try to get him to understand XD
