Bitter Karella
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Midnight Pals: Andy Warhol's Dracula
🕑 Added 2025-08-11 18:43:24 +0000 UTCPaul Morrissey: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of andy warhol's dracula
King: wow! andy warhol made a dracula movie?!
Morrissey:
Morrissey: yeeeeah
Morrissey: sure he did
Morrissey: that's the ticket
Barker: so exactly how involved was andy warhol in the making of this movie?
Morrissey: oh he was real involved
Morrissey: super involved
Morrissey: he uh
Morrissey: you know he was
Morrissey: he was involved
Barker:
Barker: uh huh
Barker: and if i asked andy warhol he would tell me the same thing?
Poe: clive don't badger the man
Barker: i'm just trying to ascertain the situation edgar
King: wow! andy warhol! dracula!
King: do you think he does, like, the soup can thing?
King: but with dracula?
Bram Stoker: i hear you're doing a dracula retelling
Morrissey: oh yeah
Morrissey: i mean andy warhol is doing it
Morrissey: he's real involved
Stoker: ok well
Stoker: well i hope this adaptation isn't horny
Stoker: i'm tired of all these horny draculas
Morrissey: please! would andy warhol ever make a horny movie?
Stoker:
Stoker: i don't actually know enough about andy warhol to answer that
Morrissey: i give you my personal guarantee that dracula is not horny
Morrissey: in fact, he's so incredibly unhorny that you might say that sex will kill him
Stoker: good
Morrissey: now everyone else around dracula...
Morrissey: that's a different story
Morrissey: see, dracula needs only virgin blood to surive
Morrissey: once a woman has sex, her blood is like trash to dracula
Stoker: yes yes of course
Stoker: i would never drink the blood of a woman who's had sex
Stoker: the very idea is revolting
Barker: of drinking a woman's blood?
Stoker: no, a woman having sex
Morrissey: dracula is having trouble because there's no more virgins in transylvania
Morrissey: all these modern-a-go-go women are just too sexually free
Morrissey: and the blood of these whores is killing dracula
Morrissey: i'm sorry, i mean
Morrissey: the blood of these hooooors is killing dracula
Barker: haha what
Morrissey: the blood of these hoooors
Barkers: haha say that again
Morrissey: hoooooors
Barker: hahahahaha
Poe: clive its not THAT funny
Morrissey: hooooooooooooors
Poe: ok yeah its pretty funny
Morrissey: so dracula is all i'm going to go to italy
Morrissey: its a catholic country so the women will be virginal and pure
Morrissey: catholic girls are known far and wide for their abject lack of sluttiness
Morrissey: so dracula arrives in italy and meets this italian nobleman who has 4 beautiful daughters
Morrissey: and he's all ok traveling dracula you can sleep in my barn tonight, but don't touch my 4 beautiful virgin daughters
Morrissey: also there's 3 holes in my barn wall
Comments
Shirley R
"hoooooors" 😂 I desperately love Udo Kier. If you haven't seen "Swan Song", I'd take care of that if I were you.
Shirley R
🤣🤣🤣
Gary McCammon
Oh, I know this one! You have to ask the vampire daughters which hole to stick your dick in, and one lies and the other tells the truth, and, and, um, the other two are backups I guess
