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Midnight Pals: Fairies
🕑 Added 2025-10-14 17:52:24 +0000 UTCJennifer McMahon: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the girl who gets kidnapped by fairies
Arthur Conan Doyle: ah yes yes yes
Doyle: as the resident expert on fairies and fairy behavior
Doyle: i can say that's pretty standard fairy behavior
McMahon: but then, after 15 years, this girl comes back
Doyle: oh my god an actual witness returning from fairyland?!
Doyle: this is huge!!
Doyle: finally we'll have the evidence to prove the existence of fairies!
Doyle: when can i interview this girl
McMahon:
McMahon: actually, see, the interesting part of this story is
McMahon: did this girl ACTUALLY get abducted by fairies?
McMahon: or is there a more mundane but no less sinister explanation for her disapp-
Doyle: it was definitely fairies
Doyle: there is no other logical explanation
Doyle: tell me every detail of this fairy encounter
Doyle: leave nothing out
Doyle: [speaking into tape recorder] interview #5357, 10/14/25, subject J. McMahon, session 1, take 1
McMahon: uhhhhhh
McMahon: is he always doing this
Arthur Machen: yeah he does this to me every week
Doyle: after extensive interviews with people who've encountered fairies, i can confidently say i know p much everything about how they work
Doyle: for example, they kidnap kids
McMahon: true
Doyle: they live underground and change shape
AM Shine: that's correct
Doyle: and they're queer
Machen: yes
McMahon: this girl is obsessed with finding fairies, to the chagrin of her very logical brother
McMahon: he's all "well by my calculations, fairies don't exist"
McMahon: and also her cousin, who carries around a big hunting knife
Mary Shelley: hey this cousin sounds cool!
Shelley: real relatable
McMahon: but 15 years later, that logical brother is all grown up and he's dating this other girl
McMahon: and this other girl, she's a little messed up, bad childhood and all, but she loves animals
McMahon: in fact she has a
Koontz: DOG
Koontz: SHE HAS A DOG
Koontz: please say it's a dog!
McMahon: well she doesn't have a dog but
HP Lovecraft: cat
McMahon: no but
Poppy Z Brite: ferret
Brite: it's a ferret right?
McMahon: close but
Brite: LEGALIZE THEM
Brite: DO IT FOR THE LITTLE GUY
McMahon: actually, she has a hedgehog
Poe:
Koontz:
King:
Lovecraft:
Barker:
King: well now that's just adorable
Koontz: i want a hedgehog too!
Poe: they are very cute
McMahon: you know, you can call them "hedgies"
King: oh that's just TOO adorable
Koontz: I WANT A HEDGIE TOO :(
Doyle: people, people, please!
Doyle: this whole hedgehog thing has caused you to lose sight of the important thing
Doyle: which is that we may finally be on the verge of proving the existence of
Doyle: [flailing wildly] FAIRY! GOD! PARENTS!
