Bitter Karella
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Midnight Pals: Black Phone
🕑 Added 2025-11-13 20:34:48 +0000 UTCStephen King: okay guys today my boy joe is going to tell a story
King: and we're all gonna give him our full attention okay?
Barker: sure
King: and we're gonna act like it's really great, okay?
King: because it is really great!
King: you'll love this story
King: now joe, he's a chip off the ol' block
Joe Hill: dad please stop
Hill: i need to find my own voice
Hill: i don't want everyone thinking i'm just a nepo baby
King: i'm sorry joe
King: i'm just so proud of you
King: DO YOU HEAR ME, PEOPLE? I LOVE MY BOY JOE!
Hill: dad stahp
Joe Hill: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the phone
Koontz:
Poe:
Lovecraft:
Barker:
Hill: no this isn't working
Hill: hmm what's the scariest color a phone can be
Hill: i got it!
Hill: i call this the tale of the BLACK phone
Poe: whoa!
Barker: ok now that's pretty scary
Lovecraft: i got chills
Koontz: [crying] i don't like this story!!
Hill: it takes place in the late 70s in Colorado
King: oooo
King: um
King: don't you think it would be better if it took place in maine in the 50s?
Hill: DAD
Hill: remember what i said?
Hill: "my own voice"
King: right right of course
King:
King: but i just think
Hill: dad, i'm telling this story my own way!
Hill: but if it makes you happy, there will be an alcoholic dad and a psychic kid with prophetic dreams
King: oh yeah that's the stuff
Hill: now the kid's sister, she's got a real mouth on her
Joe Hill: she's all "fuck shit damn fuckchuckle cockwaffle"
Hill: she'd rather take let a water buffalo take a diarrhea dump in her ear
Hill: she'd rather eat the rotten asshole of a roadkill skunk and chase it with beer
Hill: so this kid gets kidnapped by a serial killer who wears this devil mask
Hill: and he can swap out the mouth to change expressions
Hill: kinda like hexadecimal on Reboot
Barker: this mask expression swapping thing seems like a lot of effort
Hill: look, if you're gonna go through the trouble of kidnapping and murdering kids, you might as well go for the gusto
Poe: he's got you there
Barker: yeah ok sure
Hill: now this serial killer has a rotary phone in the basement
Grady Hendrix: [doing sick flip on skateboard] a what
Hill: you know, a rotary phone
Hendrix: whatever, old man
Hill:
Hill: Oh my GOD
Hill: I've become my father!
Comments
Teresa McDonold
Awwww! Don't make Dean cry. 🤣
Shirley R
🤣
R. Francis Smith
I figured the rotary phone WAS the source of the horror, like, "and all of the serial killer's friends had lots of 0s in their phone numbers!"
