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Midnight Pals: Huffing Markers
🕑 Added 2025-12-11 17:00:16 +0000 UTCKing: you know we haven't seen JK Rowling in a while
King: is she still tweeting?
Barker: ha ha ha oh steve
Barker: ha ha ha ha ha
Barker: ha ha ha ha ha ha
King: what's so funny?
Barker: ha ha ha!
King: c'mon i want to know the joke
Koontz: golly, what did happen to JK Rowling?
Barker: well, ol JK just doesn't come around much anymore
Barker: now she lives alone in her Scottish castle
Barker: high up on miserable mountain
Barker: no humans or animals would live with JK Rowling
Barker: so the mean and evil old terf queen had to have artificial ones made out of iron
Barker: there was Cynthia her agent, who ran by steam
Barker: and Charles her publicist who ran by clockwork
Barker: why, even the diane duane in the vents was artificial!
[phone rings]
Rowling: hello?
Julia Donaldson: yes is your refrigerator running
Rowling: hold on a ssecond, i'll check
Donaldson: [blasting vuvuzela] YOU'VE JUST BEEN GRUFFALOED!!
Rowling: GOD DAMN IT!!!
Rowling: if i ever find out who'ss calling, i'm gonna rip out your eyeballss and sshit in your sskull!!
JK Rowling: sssighhhh
Rowling: i never thought i'd sssay it
Rowling: but it's lonely at the top
Rowling: this sssucksss!
Rowling: i don't even get to hang out with writersss anymore
Rowling: except for john boyne
John Boyne: i can't wait to bomb some dodongos!
Rowling: godddd he ssssucksss
Rowling: if only there was sssome way to reingratiate myself to artisstic sssociety
Rowling: i got it!
Rowling: what if i tweeted ssomething to sshow how normal and relatable i am?
Rowling: delightfully devilisssh, joanne!
Rowling: what if i tweeted
Rowling: about how much i loved huffing markersss?
John Boyne: wonderful joke, dark lord?
Rowling: "joke"?!?!?
[at midnight society]
JK Rowling: hello children
Poe: oh joanne
Poe: uh
Poe: are you here to be t
Rowling: i'm here to be transssphobic
Poe:
Poe: yeah kinda expected that
Rowling: but alssso
Rowling: you know that great feeling you get from huffing markersss?
Koontz: do i???
Koontz: [huffing Mr Sketch] mmmm fruit punch!
Poe: i don't think that's the kind of marker she's talking about dean
Rowling: isn't huffing markersss great?
Rowling:
Poe:
Lovecraft
Barker:
King: yes
King: yes i remember
Poe: uh steve?
Poe: you know that feeling?
King: i
King: i didn't say it was my proudest moment
King: i was going through a real hard time
[long ago]
King: [waking up amidst mess] oh god
King: how messed up was i last night
King: i must have huffed 100 markers
King: i don't remember anything
King: oh shit
King: did i write cujo??
Barker: ha ha ha
Barker: oh joanne, never change!
Barker: actually
Barker: there are several things that you probably ought to change
Barker: but this new marker huffing arc?
Barker: keep doing this
Comments
Claire Hiria Ahuriri-Dunning
Waitwaitwaitwait is this real?!
Pamela Adams
Did Diane Duane leave the vents?
