Bitter Karella
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Midnight Pals: Christmas Chimes
🕑 Added 2025-12-28 17:00:11 +0000 UTCCharles Dickens: holy shit you guys
Dickens: turns out everyone really loved a Christmas carol
Dickens: this whole Christmas ghost story idea is a gold mine!
Dickens: i'm gonna write a new ghost story for EVERY Christmas!
Dickens: and each one is gonna be BIGGER than the last!
Dickens: don't believe me? just watch!
Dickens: ok ok ok
Dickens: you got this Charles
Dickens: how hard can it be to replicate the once-in-a-lifetime success of the story that singlehandedly rescued Christmas from the rubbish bin of history?
Dickens: probably pretty easy, honestly
Dickens: hey guys
Dickens: who's ready for another Charles dickens banger
Poe: is it about your raven?
Dickens: "is it about"--?
Dickens: no!
Dickens: it's about Christmas!
Dickens: why would i write about my raven?
Poe: i just think that raven is super cool
Poe: you guys know that Charles has a talking raven?
Barker: we know, edgar
Barker: you never fuckin shut up about the talking raven
Poe: what, you don't think that's neat?
Poe: i mean, it's a bird that talks!
Barker: lots of birds talk, edgar
Dickens: it's about this poor guy who succumbs to conservative bootstrap propaganda about how the poor deserve to be poor
Dickens: and the rich deserve to be rich
Dickens: i know George has some feelings on this one
George Romero: only in a paradise of the proletariat will the means of production be held by all the people
George Romero: this deluded lumpenprole has been robbed of his class consciousness by the intelligentsia!
Dickens: don't worry, george
Dickens: he meets some goblins who teach him the error of his ways
Dickens: so what do you guys think? pretty good, huh?
Poe: yeah it was pretty good
Dickens: better than A Christmas Carol, right?
Poe: well i uh
Poe: i wouldn't go that far
Poe: but maybe if you put a raven in it…
Dickens: again with the raven!!
Dickens: ok well looks like the chimes was a rousing success!
Dickens: now i just gotta repeat this blow-out win for every Christmas for the rest of my life
Dickens: seems pretty doable
Comments
Laurent Guillemard
Ok but honestly most stories could be improved by more ravens
John Ross
Today I learned about these five stories and I Feel for the man. He scored a high and then didn’t… that year he skipped suggests either he really wiffed it or gave in making the attempt the following year all more.
